Christmas at the Castle
by Raberba girl
Summary: After Demyx manages to pull off a majority vote for a Christmas party, Axel's left to explain the concept to the kids. Now Roxas and Xion are faced with Christmas shopping for eleven jerks. No pairings...mostly.
1. Twelve blazing lightswords

Christmas at the Castle

A Kingdom Hearts fanfic by Raberba girl

_This fic is dedicated to Infamousplot, who inspired it. :)_

Summary: After Demyx manages to pull off a majority vote for a Christmas party, Axel's left to explain the concept to the kids. Now Roxas & Xion are faced with Christmas shopping for eleven jerks. (No pairings...mostly.)

**On the twelfth day of Christmas, my best friend gave to me...**

**Chapter 1 - ...Twelve blazing light-swords...**

"Is there any last business before we conclude?" Xemnas asked, surveying the meeting room imperiously.

The Melodious Nocturne raised his hand. "Oooh, ooh, I have something!"

"What is it, Number IX?"

Demyx enthusiastically slapped his hands down on the armrests of his seat. "I propose we celebrate Christmas this year!"

There was a rustle of surprise from the rest of the Organization.

Xemnas frowned. "Christmas?"

"What is the point of celebrating Christmas?" Xaldin rumbled. "Even if we had any interest in the first place, such drivel has ceased to have any importance to us now that we have shed our hearts."

"For _you_, maybe," Demyx pouted. "But - we've got kids now, you know!"

Everyone looked at little Number XIII, who squirmed uncomfortably under the sudden scrutiny.

"We've never celebrated Christmas," Zexion pointed out. "Even _before_ we became an Organization." He glanced at Vexen for a moment, then away.

"Saïx and I never got an Organization Christmas, either." That was from Number VIII, who was lounging in his chair with an amused grin. Saïx looked as if he would sic a giant banana on anyone who dared suggest he might want a Christmas.

"Aw, that's only cuz you all joined before I did," Demyx said. "Man!" This was to the room at large. "How heartless are you people, depriving these poor kids of a fulfilling childhood?"

"If that was a joke, Number IX," Zexion said coldly, "it wasn't funny."

"Seriously, dude," Xigbar smirked. "Must be running out of good Nobody puns if 'Heartless' is the best you can come up with."

Demyx waved his hand dismissively. "Aw, I'll think of a better one later. The point is! Now that we have kids and _I'm_ here, we have to have Christmas! Roxas, you want Christmas, don't you?"

"What's Christmas?" Number XIII asked cautiously.

There were a few groans and facepalms around the room.

Axel leaned over the side of his chair. "Buddy. You remember Halloween Town?"

"Yeah."

"Christmas is like that. Only shinier, and without the skeletons and exploding pumpkins."

"Oh."

Saïx stared at Axel, shaking his head a little in a show of disbelieving disgust.

Unexpectedly, the Savage Nymph now spoke up. "Well, _I'm_ in favor of the motion." She was grinning at Marluxia for some reason.

"What?!" Demyx burst out in horror. "Never mind, I don't wanna do it anymore!"

"I second the motion," Marluxia said, smirking back at Larxene.

"Thirded," Axel said at once. "Roxas is in, too."

"I am?"

"Yes, you are."

"...Okay."

Zexion buried his face in one hand, his voice a mumble. "I have no objections to the venture if it has a majority vote."

Saïx closed his eyes, as if in a polite version of rolling them. "I have no preference either way."

Xigbar stretched his arms over his head lazily. "Ah, what the heck, I'm in."

Xemnas looked around the room. "What say the rest of you? Number III?"

"Useless drivel," Xaldin said firmly.

"Number IV?"

Vexen sniffed. "I have better things to do with my time than cater to the childish whims of our lower members."

There was an affronted rustle, but none of the grumbling was audible.

"Number V?"

"No preference."

"Number X?"

Luxord shrugged. "Why not? It could be interesting."

"Very well, then. We shall celebrate Christmas. When do you propose to hold the event, Number IX?"

There was a long pause.

"...Superior," Xigbar finally drawled in an amused tone, "Christmas is December 25th."

"That is nearly one month from now," Xemnas mused. "Number IX."

"Yeah?"

"As instigator of this plot, you shall be its organizer."

"What?!"

"You will make regular status reports to Number VII."

"Awww!"

"You all are dismissed." With that, Xemnas opened a corridor of darkness and vanished from his seat.

Larxene laughed. "Well, isn't this gonna be fun! Good luck with your new project, _honey_." She blew Demyx a sarcastic kiss and disappeared as well.

"Gah, I hate her!" Demyx looked around imploringly. "Come on, guys, someone help me out, here!"

"Dig yourself out of your own mess for once, Number IX." Xaldin vanished pitilessly, along with several of the others.

Demyx's eyes fell on the Key of Destiny. "Hey, Roxas! Little buddy!"

Axel abruptly stood up on his seat. "Don't even think about it, Dem. Roxas, the Proof."

Roxas nodded. He opened a corridor of darkness to the Proof of Existence and was already knocking on Vexen's door by the time he heard Axel materializing behind him.

It was not one of Vexen's Nobody servants, but rather, a small black-haired girl who almost immediately came out to meet them.

"Roxas, Axel! Vexen came back, so that means the meeting's over, right?"

Roxas nodded. "Yeah." He turned to Axel. "Hey, Axel...I had some-"

"Questions, I know." The older Nobody rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. "Xion, I guess it's safe to assume that you have no idea what Christmas is, either, right?"

"Christmas?" Xion said in confusion. "Is that the Heartless we're fighting on our next mission?"

"God bless your clueless little non-existent heart, _no_. Come on, we're going on a field trip." He turned and opened a corridor to Halloween Town, amused when the younger Nobodies came trotting after him like puppies.

"We decided at the meeting that we're gonna celebrate Christmas," he heard Roxas explaining behind him. "Axel said it's like Halloween, but this time those kids won't blow up pumpkins in our faces."

"Oh, good," Xion said fervently. "I don't like when they do that."

"Me, neither. It hurts."

"You might want to duck, then," Axel advised.

"Huh?"

They stepped out into a dark, dreary courtyard. Just as they were looking around to orient themselves, an orange ball came flying out of nowhere.

"Ahh!" The two young Nobodies instinctively ducked behind their mentor. Axel batted the pumpkin bomb away and smiled in satisfaction when the rebounding prank blew up in the faces of its creators.

"Ahhhh!" Coughing and gasping, Lock, Shock, and Barrel frantically discarded their masks so they could rub soot out of their eyes. Then they leaped back, screeching, when they caught sight of the flame-wreathed figure towering over them.

The fiery spectre of doom smiled. "The next time you trick-or-treating punks play a prank on my friends, I'll _roast you alive_ - that is, _after_ I've shoved these chakrams so far up your little butts that you'll have more stitches than Sally."

"Oogiiiieeee! Save us!"

"We won't do it again, we promise!"

"Meanie!" The tiny hooligans ran away, still gibbering.

Axel laughed and extinguished his flames. "Heh, brats." Then he turned and tilted his head a little. "What's up with you guys?"

Roxas and Xion were huddled together, staring at him with huge eyes. As one, they looked at each other and then flung themselves at him.

"Axel, you were scary!"

"Like some big...fire...monster...thing."

Axel rolled his eyes. "Fine, I won't do it again in front of you." After a minute, he shook his arms, trying in vain to dislodge them. "Come on, guys! It wasn't _that_ scary, you're just jumpy cuz you're in Halloween Town!"

Eventually, he managed to coax them down a road lined with tombstones, out to a forest that was just as dark and eerie as the rest of that world. That is, all except for one part of it, a clump of trees emblazoned with bright, colorful doors.

"I didn't know this place was here," Roxas murmured. He peered at the clover-shaped door, frowning thoughtfully.

"Is this what you wanted to show us, Axel?" Xion asked.

"No. The tree with the tree on it is the one we want."

Roxas and Xion looked at him strangely.

"The _Christmas_ tree! The one with the ornaments- Oh, forget it." Axel marched past them to the Christmas door and opened it. They came over and peered into the black depths. "Hoods up. It's gonna be cold; don't want you getting snow up your ears or something when you land."

"Land?"

Axel placed one palm on Roxas's back and the other palm on Xion's, and shoved.

"Aaaahhh!"

They eventually landed in a pile of snow, which they were pretty slow to get out of since they were so riveted by the sight before them. They were on a white hill overlooking a colorful village, so much cheerier-looking than Halloween Town that it seemed to dazzle their eyes. Tiny multi-colored lights gleamed everywhere, reflecting softly off the snow.

"Heads up!" Axel came crashing into them, but they were too enchanted to care much.

"Axel! Oh, it's so beautiful!"

"Axel, what is this place?"

"Christmas Town," the red-haired Nobody grunted, shaking snow out of his spiky locks. "Come on."

Axel had to admit, it was fun just watching the two kids' first exposure to Christmas magic. He found himself smiling way more than he had a right to as Xion danced in the snow; as Roxas ran to look in the windows, the Christmas lights glowing on his awestruck face; as Xion squealed at her first sight of an elf and threw herself on her knees to hug it; as Roxas cautiously licked a candy cane that another elf handed him and opened his eyes wide at the taste.

"All right, enough already, let's get moving," Axel said gruffly.

"Axel, taste this!" Roxas poked the peppermint stick in his face. "It's like...like...eating a flower-cloud!"

"Roxas..."

"Oh." Roxas peeled off the rest of the wrapping and offered up the candy cane again, this time turned the other way.

"Look, forget the candy cane, there'll be a ton of them on the 25th. We need to start the tour before Saïx realizes we're not on a mission and comes bugging us with assignments."

"There'll be _more_ candy canes on Christmas?" Roxas said eagerly.

"Yeah, like hanging on the tree or in the stockings or something."

"Stockings? Why would anyone put candy in stockings?" Xion asked.

"Yeah, and you keep talking about trees. There aren't any trees at the castle, are there?"

Axel sighed. This was going to be a long afternoon.

o.o.o.o.o

The elf at the clothing store gasped in surprise when the three customers entered her shop: a man in his mid-20s, and two teenagers who huddled close to him but looked around with bright, inquisitive eyes. What startled her was the horribly inappropriate way they were all dressed, shrouded from neck to toe in _black_, as if they were some of those ghastly Halloween Town citizens.

"Goodness gracious!" she exclaimed. "Christmas is a mere twenty-five days away, surely you don't mean to dampen the festivities with _those_ outfits!"

The children looked down self-consciously, but the man only gave her a haughty sneer. "Why d'you think we're here, Granny? We're aiming for some _appropriate attire_." The way he enunciated his syllables was condescending, but he was, after all, a paying customer, and was apparently making an effort to rectify his sad state.

"Well, you've come to the right place," she said briskly as she moved around the counter. She smiled at the children, who smiled shyly back. Really, once she had them dolled up to satisfaction, they would be quite precious. "Madame Holly will have you spruced up in a jiffy!"

From long experience, she knew to send off the girl with a large pile of outfits to try on and then keep a close eye on the males, who usually tired much more easily. She focused on the boy first. "Now, then, what's your color?" She took hold of his chin and frowned thoughtfully into his face, charmed by his beautiful sapphire eyes.

"He'd look good in tan," the boy's brother suggested decisively.

"_Tan_? Nonsense! It's simply a matter of deciding whether he'll look best in green or red."

"Are you _kidding_?" the man exclaimed.

"Perhaps white."

"Axel," the boy said hesitantly, "I don't mind wearing green or red."

"That's not the point, Roxas!"

Madame Holly tried several variations of traditional elf suits, custom fit Santa styles, and a few costumes such as a snowman and a reindeer, but eventually, she was forced to admit that little Roxas looked best in a uniform...which included tan pants. Since she thought the brothers would be adorable in matching outfits, she found a larger set of the pants and the red buttoned coat for Axel as well.

"We look like freaking tin soldiers!"

"That's the point," she snapped. "If you want something ridiculous, go next door to Halloween Town."

"Define _ridiculous_," Axel growled, but did not protest too much. He seemed to be worn out from the mountains of clothes he had been made to try on. Roxas looked a bit tired himself.

Xion, on the other hand, seemed to blossom as she came out every couple of minutes to model for them. Roxas praised her each time, since she looked cute in everything; Madame Holly had much the same reaction, but with a more discerning eye. Axel soon resorted to flashing weary thumbs-ups and thumbs-downs. "Oh, for crying out loud...go with that one," he finally burst out. "Look, Roxas doesn't know what hit him, you're gorgeous. _Just buy a dress already._"

"Well, if you say so," Xion said happily. She tugged at the edge of her skirt in self-conscious pleasure as Roxas told her that she was pretty again.

"Oh, dear," Madame Holly fussed, "it's lovely, but I'm sure a more festive color would be better..." She was cut off by the sound of Axel firmly slamming a pile of munny on the counter.

The trio finally walked back out into the snow, Axel and Roxas in their tin soldier uniforms, Xion in her short purple Santa dress. She adjusted the hat and shivered a little, despite the fact that she also wore boots and leggings. "It's even colder out here than in Vexen's room. Axel, can we please go somewhere else warm?"

Axel rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Guess it's time for Christmas Lesson Number Eight: Hot chocolate."

As he had known they would, they began to chorus in unison, "What's hot-?"

"I'll show you when we get there!" He led the way to a restaurant, where he ordered the works - hot chocolate, apple pie, fruitcake, eggnog, everything. "Now, here's what we're gonna do. We'll spread the food out, you get a little taste of each, I'll tell you what's Christmasey about it, and afterward, you can stuff yourselves as much as you want. Deal?"

"Okay," Xion agreed.

"Axel, how much is all this gonna cost?" Roxas asked worriedly.

Axel practically beamed with pride. His little buddy was getting smarter. "Ah, it'll be fine. Go out and bash some Heartless if you're worried. The evil jack-in-the-boxes leave some good munny drops, just make sure the ones with rifles don't shoot you in the face."

Xion sagged. "I guess this really is still Halloween world, even in the Christmas part of it."

Axel sighed and reached over to fluff her hair. "Hey, could be worse. We could have Jack Skellington planning our Christmas party instead of Demyx."

Roxas ended up voting on the gingerbread cookies as his favorite, and Xion picked the candy canes. Thinking it would amuse him, Axel let them both get tipsy on eggnog, until their waitress finally made a disapproving remark and took the pitcher away.

"Look, Xi-Xi!" Roxas gasped breathlessly, pointing at Axel's hair. "Axel! His head! Looks like it's on fire!"

"He's the Furry- Foofy...Fluvy?" Xion slurred.

"Flurby," Roxas corrected. "Of Dangling Flames."

"Juuuust like the flaming pudding!" Xion shrieked, and the two of them dissolved into hysterical laughter.

Axel surveyed them distastefully. "I changed my mind, this is _not_ amusing, we're going home."

"AHAHA!"

"Flaming Pudding Head!"

"_HAHAHAAA!_"

"Furly of-"

"HAHA, DON'T!"

"Caramelldansen-!"

"Noooo, I'm gonna pee!"

"Flame-boiled-!"

"Don't, don't, really, I-! ...Axel, I wet my pants."

Axel slammed his hand down on the table. "Forget it, you two find your own way home!"

"Noooo!"

"Axel, don't leeaave meee!"

"_You and your wet pants get away from me_!" Axel slung his coat around his shoulders and threw himself into a corridor of darkness, but not before both kids flung themselves after him and Roxas hit the floor face first, knocking himself out. Axel was forced to carry him, with Xion clinging to his arm, practically in tears the whole way.

"Last time I ever, _ever_ let you two touch eggnog again...or anything with alcohol in it, for that matter..."

o.o.o.o.o

Saïx happened to be in the Proof of Existence when Numbers VIII, XIII, and XIV materialized nearby, all of them with disheveled coats that only partially concealed the irregular costumes beneath. The Luna Diviner watched as Axel herded both of the children into Number XIII's room. There was some yelling and crashing, and then Axel came out again, collapsing back against the portal's frame with a loud groan.

"Trouble with the subordinates?" Saïx said dryly.

Axel glared. "Aside from having to baby-sit a couple of dorks with bladder control issues and zero tolerance for alcohol, I'm peachy. Why do you ask?"

Saïx frowned. "They're underage. And were supposed to be collecting hearts, anyway."

"...Time was you'd smirk and make some insulting joke. You've gotten so boring, man."

"Are you trying to goad me? An exercise in futility. You should know that."

Axel rolled his eyes and wandered over to lean more comfortably against the wall. "Must've lost your sense of humor along with your heart, buddy."

Saïx merely raised his clipboard and began taking notes again, murmuring orders to a few waiting Dusks nearby.

"Oi, Sai. You remember our last Christmas in Radiant Garden?"

Saïx paused. "You mean the one where you set your stepfather's pants on fire?"

Axel grinned. "That's the one. Man, that was ages ago. You think Christmas'll really be any fun, now that we're not kids anymore?"

"I'm sure that the absence of a heart has a negative effect on the experience, if nothing else."

Axel looked away, thinking resentfully, _'See, this is why I stopped hanging out with you. You're so dang depressing now, Isa.'_

There was a long, quiet moment, as Saïx kept working and Axel considered leaving. Then Saïx said quietly, "For what it's worth, I still find the recollection of those flaming pants to be faintly amusing. Odd, isn't it? I should have no emotional investment in the memory at all."

Axel smiled. "Yeah, well, you can't go wrong with a pair of combusting pinstriped trousers."

"I can think of many, many ways such a thing could go wrong."

"Which was why it was always me setting things on fire instead of you."

"True."

_To be continued..._

Author's Notes: **Slightly AU, because I wanted to include the entire Organization.**

Technically, I suppose that eggnog _could_ make someone drunk if they consumed enough of it and had a low enough tolerance for alcohol, but the effects are probably exaggerated here for humor purposes. *sweatdrop*

Infamousplot's fic _A Different Sort of Love_ had a line in it that gave me the idea to write a story where Roxas & Xion go Christmas shopping for the rest of the Organization. XD It was originally just supposed to be a one-shot, but then I found myself adding in all this stuff about daily life in the Castle That Never Was, and the trio traveling to worlds that weren't in Days, so it got a LOT longer than planned. Eventually, I decided to do a "Twelve Days of Christmas" chapter theme, so I split up the material accordingly.

...Funny how the first one to actually say "flaming pants" was Saïx, not Axel. XD XD XD Ah, nostalgia...that scene right there at the end was my first attempt at AkuSai friendship, which eventually became my OTP. X3

This fanfic, being my first Kingdom Hearts non-crossover canon-based multi-chapter, became the foundation for much of my KH headcanon. Many of my later KH fics reference it in some way. ^^


	2. Eleven purple lasers

**Christmas at the Castle, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic by Raberba girl**

**Chapter 2 - ...Eleven purple lasers...**

Roxas cracked open bleary eyes and groaned. According to his bedside clock, it was what passed for morning in the World That Never Was, but he could have easily slept for several more hours. He rolled over and was startled to bump into someone - Xion was still there, cuddling up to him in her sleep. "Um, Xion?" He shook her shoulder gently.

She looked just as bad as he felt once she managed to pry her eyes open. "Mm...Roxas?"

"You fell asleep in my bed again."

"Oh. I'm sorry..." She stretched, yawning. "Ugh, I feel icky. I wish I hadn't fallen asleep in my coat."

"Me, too."

She picked up her Santa dress from the floor and left for Vexen's room, as Roxas went to his closet to dig out a change of clothes. Almost everything he owned looked exactly the same, with one exception. For a moment, his hand lingered on the outfit he had been born in, the tan pants and white sweater relegated to the very back of his closet. Then he sighed and reached instead for a clean set of black pants, tank top, and coat. He was not sure how Saïx would react if he ever tried to wear something different, but he really did not want to find out.

Only Zexion and Luxord were in the dining room when he came in with his bowl of cereal. Luxord was playing an elaborate game of solitaire as he munched on a bagel; Zexion was holding a mug of coffee as he glared at his laptop screen and navigated with one hand.

The Gambler of Fate looked up and smiled. "Good morning, Thirteen. Up for a game?"

"Um...not really," Roxas said. "I'm not all awake yet."

Luxord shrugged and laid down another card.

Roxas took a seat and ate a spoonful of his breakfast, looking back and forth between the two adults and wishing that Xion or Axel were here. Finally he ventured, "What are you working on, Zexion?"

He was startled when the Cloaked Schemer slammed his laptop closed and gulped down half the contents of his mug. Zexion made a gagging sound and hastily put the mug back down again. "It's disgusting when it goes lukewarm."

"All right there, Number VI?" Luxord inquired mildly.

"Yes." Zexion shook his head, still irritated. "To answer your question, Number XIII, I am researching catering services."

"Oh...I see."

"You have no idea what I'm talking about," Zexion observed.

Roxas ducked his head and ate another bite of cereal.

"Food," Luxord supplied. "Our dear Melodious Lazybum duped Six here into organizing the party food."

Zexion blinked. "He did, didn't he!" The young man surged to his feet, summoned his weapon, and slammed it down on the table. Roxas winced.

"Kick his bum later," Luxord advised. "Don't let that fool ruin your breakfast."

Grumbling under his breath, Zexion slowly sat down again. There was an awkward pause. Then Roxas pulled a granola bar out of his pocket and hesitantly slid it across the table toward Zexion. He was a little surprised when the young man accepted it with a curt "Thank you." Most of the other members would have been too proud to do so.

"Um, if you need food for the party, maybe you could try asking the elves in Christmas Town," Roxas suggested.

Zexion and Luxord both looked at him.

"Axel took us there yesterday. There was a place that had all sorts of Christmas food- Don't get eggnog, though," Roxas added shamefacedly. "Eggnog is bad."

"I see," Zexion murmured, frowning thoughtfully.

Just then, Xion came in with a plate of jellied toast, looking downcast. Roxas eagerly patted the table next to him, though there was no need, of course she came and sat beside him. "What's wrong?" he asked in concern.

"I got in trouble," she mumbled. "Vexen was up late again in the laboratory last night, and he needed an assistant. I forgot to tell him I was sleeping with you."

Zexion's eyebrows climbed, and Luxord chortled. Roxas looked at them in confusion.

Before he could ask them what was going on, a corridor of darkness appeared nearby, and Axel's head poked through it. "Oi, it's late, Saïx is getting mad. You two better get your little butts up to the Grey Area before he sics you on another Leechgrave or something."

Roxas hastily scooped up his bowl of now-soggy cereal and hurried with it back to the kitchen, as Xion rushed beside him, jamming toast into her mouth. Even Zexion was right on their heels. They flung bowl, plate, and mug at the Demyx water-clone who was washing dishes and then high-tailed it to the Grey Area (Luxord, who had not bothered with a plate, beat them to it).

No luck. Saïx's expression was formidable as he paired up Roxas and Xion on a mandatory mission to defeat the Leechgrave's vengeful twin brother in Halloween Town.

"Do you have a problem with the mission?" he asked severely as the two youngest Nobodies stared glumly at their shoes.

"No," Roxas mumbled.

"Thank you for allowing us to work together," Xion said sadly.

"Hmph."

The Keybearers turned away and trudged into a dark corridor.

They survived, mostly because Roxas had Xion stay to the side and focus on healing him and restoring his Limit threshold and attack spells, while he concentrated his efforts on defeating the monster. It was still a long, grueling battle, but the Leechgrave fell at last.

"Roxas!" Xion ran to her friend, who was coughing and gagging from the monster's last poisonous attack. "Here, drink this, quick..." She managed to get her last Hi-Potion down his throat. Then she hugged him as he recovered, and it was a sign of how badly he had been hurt that he let her hold him for a good minute before he finally opened his eyes and pulled away.

"Better?" she asked at once, averting an awkward moment.

He nodded. "Yeah."

They walked together back to the central courtyard, where they both paused and looked at each other.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Roxas asked.

"I'm guessing it doesn't have much to do with RTCing," she said with a grin.

He grinned back. "Race you to the Tree tree!"

They pelted off for the forest, laughing. Roxas touched it first, and Xion came panting up behind him. "Do you think we should go back and get Axel?" she asked.

"Oh, yeah."

"We should probably get our Christmas Town clothes, too, so we don't make the locals nervous."

Roxas laughed. "And this time we won't pee in them..."

"Definitely not," Xion agreed fervently. It had been rather difficult trying to get the clothes cleaned without any of the older Organization members noticing.

They ended up RTCing after all, but instead of reporting to Saïx, they snuck to their rooms to retrieve the Christmas clothes, then opened a portal to Twilight Town, where they found Axel looking very lonely and cute all by himself on the clock tower.

"Axel!"

"Hmph. 'Bout time you guys showed up," he pouted, brandishing his ice cream stick. "Almost finished without you. Yours are melting, by the way."

"We'll eat on the way there," Roxas said impatiently. He pushed Axel's tin soldier costume at him. "Hurry up and put these on, unless you want to wait and change out in the snow over there."

"Eh? We're going to Christmas Town again?"

"Yeah, you have to show us the rest of it, Axel! The place where they were making the toys, and the guy who was selling trees, and all those songs everyone was singing-"

"Okay, okay!" Axel fixed Xion with a stern look. "You go off around the corner, missy, unless you're just dying to know what color my shorts are."

Giggling, Xion retreated out of sight, as Axel changed clothes and tuned out Roxas's continued chatter. "And I wanna try lying in the snow flapping my arms like those kids were doing, and I reeeally want some more gingerbread and hot chocolate, the ice cream lady said they don't sell it here..."

o.o.o.o.o

Roxas and Xion were so excited to be back in Christmas Town that they actually dithered in the town square, making uncertain jerks in one direction or another, torn about where to go next. Axel smiled in amusement and mentally counted down, with the accuracy of long experience, to the moment when they finally turned to him and asked with shining eyes, "What should we do, Axel?"

"Tell you what. One snow angel each, then I'll see if we can wrangle a toy workshop tour, and then I'm just gonna chill and let you two run loose for a while."

"What's a snow angel?"

He was forced to demonstrate. Then, as they eagerly followed suit, he simply lay there and stared up at the sky, lost in memories. The last time he had done this was ten years ago, in Radiant Garden, with Isa laughing at his side.

Times had changed since then. Radiant Garden was a crumbling wreck of a world, and Isa was gone, replaced by a heartless, stone-faced being who had not laughed in so long that he had probably forgotten how.

"Gah!" Axel flailed upright, glaring at the kids. "Who flicked snow in my face?"

They were both grinning at him mischievously. "Nooobody?" Roxas hedged.

Xion suddenly gave a shriek of laughter. "_Nobody_, Roxas, get it?" They both cracked up at the lame, lame, _lame_ pun.

Axel rose to his knees, growling playfully. "Well, if Mr. _Nobody_ would like to come over and get what's coming to him..." Both kids scrambled up and dashed away, laughing like maniacs, as if they thought he was going to chase after them. Axel sighed and got to his feet, shaking his head with a smile as he brushed snow off his clothes. Then he headed at a leisurely pace for the workshop.

The kids were enchanted. From the first amazed "Whooooaaa!" as they entered, they were in total Squee Mode. Axel could not help laughing sometimes at their reactions as the guide elf explained things, such as that the building materials were edible ("Oi, Roxas, don't bite that!" "But he said it was-" "Just because you _can_ eat it doesn't mean you're supposed to!").

The workshop itself was pure magic for a child, or for young teens who had never had a childhood. Once Axel had managed to get the concept of 'toys' through their cute thick skulls ("They're, you know, things you play with." "Play?" "Yeah, like have fun." "So they're made of ice cream?" "_No_!"), they scampered from conveyor belt to conveyor belt, watching in awe as jack-in-the-boxes and dolls and miniature cars and stuffed animals took shape.

"It's so _cuuuute_!" Xion squealed, snatching up a stuffed dog and hugging it. "Isn't it cute, Roxas?!"

"Yeah, kind of," the boy agreed amiably.

"Isn't it cute, Axel?" she insisted, holding up the toy to his face.

"Yeah. Real cute. And they won't let you take it, this isn't a store."

"But it's so cute!"

The elf now spoke up. "These toys here are for the kiddos on the Nice List, but you can take your pick from the defect pile, if you really want to."

"Mighty generous of you," Axel said dryly.

"Really?!" Xion squealed, delighted.

The elf led them to the pile of rejected toys, all of them imperfect in some way: dolls with lopsided facial features, cars with missing wheels, and the like.

"I can...have one? To keep?" Xion asked shyly.

"Sure, take your pick."

"Ooh! Roxas, which one are you going to pick?"

"Hm...I dunno. You pick one for me, Xion."

"Okay! Which one do you want, Axel?"

"Eh? Oi, Xion, toys are for kids. I'm not a kid."

They both stared at him with the exact same look they had given him when he had said they might not be together forever.

"Oi, oi, oi...oh, whatever, just grab one, I don't care."

Xion lovingly chose a one-legged tin soldier for Roxas and a stuffed dog with a missing eye for herself. She handed Axel a toy car that was decorated with flame designs except for the bare gray hood, on which a crescent-shaped splotch of yellow paint had fallen.

Axel stared at it. "Dang it. It's perfect," he mumbled. _'Isa is not my friend anymore,'_ he thought resentfully at the coincidence. His chest was empty. There wasn't supposed to be anything in it to hurt. So why...?

"Thanks, Xion," Roxas said with a smile.

"Yay! I knew you'd like them."

They then trudged all over town, trying to find the restaurant they had been at before, and by the time they found it, they were half-frozen. They bought mugs of hot chocolate and then went to settle in the lounge area by the fireplace. Axel plopped down on a sofa close to the fire and leaned his head back with a contented sigh. He heard rustling noises from the kids. Then he abruptly raised his head again. "Oi, what do you think you're doing?"

They had both pulled off their shoes and climbed onto the couch on either side of him with their hot chocolate. Xion had stuck her icy toes under his left knee, and Roxas had followed suit on the right.

"Get your stinky ice cube feet away from me!"

"But Axel...it's c-cold," Xion said pathetically. Roxas hung his head in that horrible way he had of making Axel feel like he was kicking a puppy.

"Urgh...you guys are brats." He pulled his feet farther under the couch so that theirs were held more securely under his knees, and tried to summon extra warmth from his powers.

"Axel?" Roxas asked. "Who were all those toys for?"

"Well, they're for kids. Santa's elves make toys all year, and then on Christmas Eve, Santa Claus flies his sleigh all around the world and delivers toys to all the good boys and girls."

"Which world?" Xion asked urgently.

"This one. And some others, like Destiny Islands." _'And Radiant Garden.'_

"What about the World That Never Was?"

Axel grinned. "I'm gonna dash your hopes right now, Santa wants nothing to do with a world inhabited by heartless monsters." Their faces fell, so that he felt like a jerk again. "But, you know, you'll still get presents, anyway." _'Because the Flurry of Dancing Flames is no match for your big blue puppy eyes, and will apparently be doing a bit of Christmas shopping in the next few weeks.'_

"We will?"

"Yeah. We're having Christmas at the castle this year, after all."

"So Santa will come to our party?"

"No! I mean...look, you don't need Santa Claus to have presents. In fact, you're _supposed_ to get presents for other people. Santa's more of a kids' thing."

"So...are we going to have to get presents for the rest of the Organization?"

Axel paused. It should have been obvious, but for some reason, it had not occurred to him until now. "Yeah...yeah, I guess so. Dang." He let his head flop back again. "This is going to be _so fun_," he told the ceiling sarcastically.

"Really? Will you help us, Axel?"

"Like I wouldn't. Heh, though it _would_ be funny seeing what you guys'd come up with on your own."

Eventually he shooed them away, after promising to help them start their Christmas shopping the next day after work. Then he took a nap as they spent the rest of the afternoon learning Christmas carols, building a Shadow Heartless out of snow, and using their powers to experiment with the blinking patterns on the strings of Christmas lights. Finally, they went back and cuddled with Axel to get warm again, until he woke up and pitched a fit. "You want to warm up, go dance with a Scarlet Tango or something, leave me alone!"

When they got back, the Grey Area was more crowded than usual. One of the tables was covered with paper, small cans of paint, brushes, cups of murky water, and open boxes of white glass balls. Several of the other members were gathered around it, talking. Larxene merely sat with her arms folded in defiance, and Xigbar was animatedly waving a ball around while he spoke, as if he had forgotten he was holding it. Luxord and Marluxia, while participating in the conversation, were also carefully painting the balls they held: Marluxia with flowers (he was a surprisingly good artist), and Luxord with patterns of diamonds, hearts, spades, and clubs.

By the table at the other end of the room, which was covered with stacks of books and papers and a laptop, Zexion appeared to be yelling at three Dancer Nobodies. Demyx, who had been whining in his servants' defense, happily pranced over to the three newcomers as soon as they entered. "Axel, Roxy, Xi! Arts and crafts time!" He thrust a box of glass balls at them. "Paint ornaments or Zexy will kill you."

"What are you saying about me?" Zexion called in irritation.

"Nothing, Zex!" Demyx answered brightly.

Axel shook his head. "Demyx, think up some better nicknames for Zexion, those just sound wrong..."

"Ahem." They all turned at the sound of a throat being cleared severely behind them, except Demyx, who yelped and fled back to where he had been working with the Cloaked Schemer.

Saïx stood glowering in his usual place at the head of the room, apparently unaware of the glass ball someone had hooked over the hem of his hood. "Mission reports first." He held out a stack of forms meaningfully.

"Geez, we just walked in two seconds ago." Axel swept three sheets off the top of the stack and handed a couple of them back to Roxas and Xion, returning Saïx's glare with a grin. Then he moved close to the blue-haired Nobody, reaching an arm around as if to hug him.

Roxas and Xion were very interested to see a flustered expression pass over the usually intimidating Saïx's face, before Axel pulled back again, offering up the ball that had been hooked onto his old friend's coat.

The Luna Diviner growled, swiping the ball out of Axel's hand. "Number IX!" he bellowed.

"I didn't do it!" was the immediate response.

Shaking his head in amusement, Axel led the kids over to the paint station. "Oi, Larxene, Xigbar. If you're not gonna work, make some room for the actual participants, eh?"

"Hmph." Larxene swept to her feet with a haughty look. "This Christmas stuff is ridiculous, anyway."

"Then why'd you vote for it?"

"None of your business. I'm out of here." She vanished into a corridor of darkness.

Xigbar grinned and patted the now empty seat beside him. "Come on over, Poppet, there's plenty of room." Xion hesitantly approached, but Axel got there first, sitting down aggressively enough to shove Xigbar to the side, right up against the armrest. Xion sat down on Axel's other side, smiling a little. "Hey, I wasn't gonna mess with her or anything," Xigbar complained.

Roxas took the seat next to Luxord, looking around and then uncertainly taking a ball from one of the boxes. "So...we draw things on them with those brushes?"

"These are ornaments," Axel explained. "They're for the Christmas tree."

A light bulb flickered. "You mean like the tree on the tree in Halloween Town?"

"Yeah."

"What's she talking about?" Xigbar wondered.

"But the Tree tree's balls are colorful," Roxas said. "These are just white."

"Hence the paints," Axel said with infinite patience.

"You are to fill the empty space with a design," Luxord put in.

"What kind of design?"

"Anything you like."

"Anything, huh?"

Xigbar smirked. "Why? You had something racy in mind?"

Axel elbowed him in the ribs, looking annoyed. "Leave 'em alone, they're still clueless about that kind of thing, and I'd like it to stay that way. I've got enough to deal with without throwing teenage hormones into the mix..."

"What are you talking about, Axel?" Xion asked in confusion. Roxas was glad she had said it before he did, since he did not want to sound as dumb as he felt.

"Nothing you need to worry about for a loooong time," Axel said firmly.

"You'll probably find out if you spend a night in Number XIII's bed," Marluxia mused, earning grins from Xigbar and Luxord, and a glare from Axel.

"But I _have_ slept with Roxas," Xion said, puzzled. "I still don't know what you mean."

There was a long pause.

Axel dropped his face into his palm. "I don't know them. Never met them in my life. I am unaffiliated with them in any way."

The other three older Nobodies snickered.

"What?!" the younger ones cried, "How could you say that, Axel?!"

Saïx chose that moment to storm over. "I expect three reports in my hand within the next ten minutes, otherwise you'll have my claymore to deal with."

After filling out their mission reports, Roxas and Xion ended up painting three ornaments each. On her first one, Xion attempted to depict her friends' faces, but her skills were so bad that she ended up smearing blue over the whole thing and painting seashells instead, which she did for the other two as well. Roxas painted an ice cream bar on both sides of his first ornament, then tried to draw a sunset on the second. It turned out looking a lot like Axel's ornaments, which were mostly random swirls of red, orange, and yellow.

Roxas picked up the third ball and tried painting a Heartless symbol on it, thinking of all the hearts he still needed to collect before Kingdom Hearts would be complete and he could finally be free to hang out with his two best friends forever. However, he could not get it to look right. "I'm really bad at painting," he noted sadly.

Everyone else looked at him. "No, it's really good, Roxas," Xion said encouragingly.

"Thanks."

The other four were staring. "That looks like the Mark of Mas-" Axel started to say, then broke off. He shared a long look with Xigbar, Luxord, and Marluxia.

"The mark of what?" Roxas asked.

Axel shook his head. "Never mind. Xion's right, Roxas, it looks great." He set his latest creation down and stretched both arms over his head. "Eh, I'm callin' it a day. What do you kids want to eat?"

"Grilled cheese sandwiches," Roxas voted.

"Pancakes!" Xion said eagerly. "Like the ones you made last time, with blueberry faces."

"What? Pancakes are for breakfast, not din-" Axel rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Come on, let's go."

Roxas had become pretty proficient at making his own grilled cheese sandwiches by now, but Xion had not quite mastered some aspects of pancake-making, such as cracking the eggs so that bits of shell didn't end up in the batter. "Try tapping it, then," Axel suggested. "All around, so that it's cracked in one line. Then slowly pull the two halves apart."

Xion tapped. Nothing happened.

"Tap it just a little bit harder."

Egg yolk and bits of crushed shell splattered over the counter and Xion's coat.

"Just keep trying, Xi, you'll get the hang of it." Axel plucked another egg from the carton and pushed it into Xion's palm, closing his hand over hers to control the force as she tapped it again. This time, the egg ended up with a fairly straight equator. Still with his hands over hers, Axel helped Xion carefully pry the egg open, letting its unbroken yolk drop into the mixture.

"See? You got it."

"Only because you were helping me," Xion said dolefully, starting to beat the contents of the mixing bowl.

"You can't get good at anything without practice."

"I hope I'm as good at cooking someday as you are."

"Man," Axel mumbled under his breath, "first I'm a nanny, now I'm a good cook...I need to assassinate someone in cold blood before my image is totally ruined..."

"What did you say? I couldn't hear you."

"Nothing."

They ate together at one end of the table (Axel had warmed up some leftover pizza for himself), talking quietly about random stuff. Several of the other Organization members were scattered along the table, caught up in their own conversations or absorbed in whatever they liked to work on while they ate.

Zexion stormed in, crossing the room in an obvious bad mood. He disappeared into the kitchen for a minute, where they heard him slamming open and closed the freezer door. Then he stomped back into the dining room, lugging the entire, three-quarters full, party-sized box of ice cream bars. This he slammed onto the table a couple of seats away from Roxas, before flinging himself into a chair and ripping open a strawberry-flavored ice cream, which he devoured in about four seconds. He was already on the second one (kiwi) before someone finally dared to comment.

"Demyx again?"

"I don't know how he does it!" Zexion raged, hastily wiping his chin as bits of kiwi-flavored sweetness leaked out of his stuffed mouth. "I'm mumblemumblemumble but then mumble, and he mumblemumble gets away with mumble before I finamumble realize what happened!" He swallowed hugely, then stood up and rummaged savagely through the box, accidentally knocking a few bars out onto the table. "_Where is the sea-salt_?!"

Roxas cautiously picked up the blue package that had landed next to his elbow and held it out. Zexion seized it with a perfunctory "Thank you" and nearly bit into it before remembering to tear off the wrapping.

Just then, Demyx ambled in, trailed by a few Dancers wearing scarves and mittens. "Hey, awesome balls, guys! Who's excited for Christmas now, eh?"

Zexion flung an ice cream bar at his face and stomped out of the room.

"Ow!" Rubbing the red spot on his forehead, Demyx bent down to pick up the projectile. His face lit up. "Yay, chocolate!"

o.o.o.o.o

Xion said good night to her friends and then went to the luxurious bathing suite she shared with Larxene, where she changed into her purple night shirt and black shorts. The suite was large enough to comfortably accommodate fifteen women, but she stayed in her 'designated area,' which was a mirror, sink, toilet, shower/bath, and changing stall alllll the way at the far end of the room. Roxas had told her that the men did not have 'designated areas,' they just took care of business wherever there was a free spot, but Xion was not about to challenge the Savage Nymph on the issue.

After she had brushed her teeth, she came back down toward the door, passing Larxene as she did so. The petite woman was standing in front of a mirror, combing her hair after having washed all the gel out of it. Sparkly letters spelled out the word 'twilight' across the back of her panties.

"Did you get those in Twilight Town?" Xion asked curiously.

Larxene turned around. The front of her undergarment had a guy's chalk-white, hungry-eyed face on it. Xion shuddered a little. "What are you talking about?"

"Your, um...clothes," Xion fumbled. "They say 'twilight' on them, so I just thought..." To her surprise, Larxene's face twisted into a snarl. She lunged forward with one of her knives at Xion's throat before the girl even realized she had said something wrong.

"If you tell _anyone_ about what's on my underwear," Larxene hissed, "I will _kill you_."

"Y-Yes, ma'am," Xion squeaked. "I won't tell."

Larxene withdrew her weapon. "Get out of here."

Xion crept past and then darted for the door, wondering why in the world Larxene had reacted like that.

She continued on to the Chilly Academic's room, where, for all practical purposes, she lived. Xion had never understood why she had not been given a room of her own, or why she had to share with Vexen, of all people. She supposed she would be awarded with a room of her own once she reached a certain rank or something, but in the meantime, she had to put up with the cranky scientist.

Vexen was hunched over one of his lab tables as usual, and did not acknowledge Xion's presence.

"Good night, Vexen," she said politely.

"Don't touch the purple beakers," he snapped. "Don't touch _anything_, but especially not those."

"I won't." She went over to her bed, climbed in, and went to sleep.

_To be continued..._

Author's Notes: Nothing inappropriate is going on between Vexen and Xion, in case you were worried. I just figured, considering Xion's backstory and the fact that there's no fourteenth room in the Proof, it made sense for her to stay with Mr. Mad Scientist.

Okay, so apparently in both the games and the manga, people sleep in their Org coats, but come on, that's ridiculous! (Those coats have _chains_ hanging all over them!) Especially since KH people apparently sleep in their SHOES, too! I maintain that it's simply laziness on the part of the game makers, who just didn't want to design sleepwear for anyone except KH2!Roxas, and that everyone is really wearing PJs and would be uncomfortable sleeping in their coats.

Xion being a dog nut is from the manga. In fact, her squeeing about _anything_ is from the manga. There's a scene where she squees over and then adopts Pluto - and, to Axel's astonishment, Saïx _lets her keep him_, because it turns out that Pluto reminds Saïx of another dog he used to play with when he was younger. 8D


	3. Ten pointed lances

**Christmas at the Castle, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic by Raberba girl**

**Chapter 3 - ...Ten pointed lances...**

Roxas awakened unusually early the next morning. Knowing that he would not be able to go back to sleep, he got up and went out in search of breakfast.

He soon realized what had woken him up: Zexion, already dressed, was having a full-fledged boss battle with the whining, pajama-clad Demyx right there in the Proof of Existence. Other Organization members were stumbling bleary-eyed through their doorways, cursing at the commotion, and then disappearing again, presumably back to bed. None of them were Saïx or Xemnas, who would probably have put a stop to it; Xemnas's suite was big enough that he probably could not even hear the racket, and Saïx was such an early riser that he had likely already left his room. Only Xigbar and Roxas stayed to watch the outcome.

Zexion won. Seizing Demyx firmly by the ear, he dragged the protesting blond Nobody out of the Proof of Existence, his mouth set in a grim line.

"Interesting," Xigbar commented. "Catch ya later, tiger. I'm going back to bed."

"My name's not Tiger." Sighing, Roxas went to toast some Pop-Tarts, then wandered into the Grey Area. No one was there except Zexion and Demyx.

"And if I don't see an acceptable one here by the end of the day," the Cloaked Schemer was saying, "I'll give you hallucinations so bad, you'll still be gibbering like a fool by the time Christmas rolls around."

"All right, I got it," Demyx pouted. "Poopyhead. Can I go back to bed now?"

"_NO_. You can start your search now, or you can pass the time by making festive decorations until Saïx gets here. Your choice." Zexion turned and swept past Roxas on his way out. "Good morning, Number XIII."

"Good morning," Roxas said nervously. He watched until Zexion was out of sight. Then he turned and looked at Demyx, who had sat down on a couch and was now strumming on his sitar. "What was all that about?"

"Aw, Zexy's grumpy cuz I haven't found a good Christmas tree yet."

"Are you guys working on the Christmas party together?" Roxas asked curiously.

Demyx grinned, eyes sparkling with mischief. "Not _officially_...but, heh, Mr. Manipulative Scheming Cloaky Dude is pretty easy to manipulate when it comes to Christmas. I think that deep down, he's really looking forward to it, what with his lame childhood and all."

"I'm kind of looking forward to it, too," Roxas admitted.

Demyx's eyes lit up. "You are? Awesome! This'll be the best Christmas ever. Hey, Roxas, my man, think you could do something for me?"

Roxas was immediately wary.

"I'm supposed to get stockings for everyone, but I've already got enough to worry about...could you pick some up for me? I'll make it worth your while."

"Um...okay," Roxas said uncertainly. He still was not quite sure what the stockings thing was all about, but no doubt Axel or the Christmas Town elves could explain it to him.

He fiddled with his panel arrangement and worked on a challenge mission until Saïx came in and sent him off to Beast's Castle. After work, Roxas dark corridored straight to Christmas Town, where he pulled his costume out of his backpack and put it on, shivering in the frosty air.

Xion arrived about a minute after he had finished, already dressed in her purple Santa dress. Together, they chatted about how their missions had gone until Axel finally showed up, staggering through a dark portal and gushing blood. "Axel!" Xion cast a Cure spell on him without a second's thought, and Roxas seized the first Hi-Potion he could get his hands on, dumping it directly on the worst of the wounds.

"Thanks," Axel panted, collapsing against the tree to catch his breath. "That Saïx, sending me after a 'giant Heartless' and neglecting to tell me it's a freaking Dark Follower..."

"Are you okay, Axel?" Xion asked anxiously.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Just lend me a few panels, will you? I'm totally out. Wouldn't wanna get KO'd by a Shadow, I'd never hear the end of it..."

The kids fussed over him and plied him with snacks and hot chocolate until he finally resorted to gift shopping simply to distract them from the subject. Leading them to one of the few stores that actually sold something besides toys and Christmas decorations, he began his newest lesson. "Now. The first thing you need to know about Christmas presents is that you give one to everybody you don't want to offend."

"The entire Organization," Xion said at once, and Roxas nodded fervently.

"Okay, so now you need to figure out _what_ you're going to give them. Depending on how close you are, you can sometimes just get away with a generic, fairly cheap tin of cookies or holiday-themed bath set or something. Of course, if you do this for some people but not for others, and the recipients know each other, you may end up with some hurt feelings anyway. Heh, not that we actually have 'feelings' to hurt. And also, if you're in a large group setting, like the Organization, it would probably be acceptable to give everyone basically the same thing. Of course, if you're closer to certain members than others and you want to do a little extra for them, it'd be best to keep quiet about-"

It was at that point he noticed the kids' eyes starting to glaze over. "Um..." Axel scratched the back of his head and sighed. "You know what, forget the lecture. Roxas, what kind of gift would you pick out for, say, Xigbar?"

"Uh..." Roxas looked around hopelessly at the merchandise on the shelves. "A blender?"

Axel facepalmed. "Okay, here's the deal. People want to receive gifts that they like, so when you're gift shopping, you need to think about what the people you're shopping for like."

"So...I should buy Xigbar a gun?"

"Urk...well, you're still a minor, so that won't go over well in the stores... Okay, here's an easier one. What does Marluxia like?"

"Flowers?"

"Yes! You got it! And Zexion?"

"...Books?"

"Excellent. Xion, how about Vexen?"

"He likes to do experiments and make a scary laugh."

"...Okay, so, what kinds of things are in his lab that he might like more of?"

"DNA?"

"Gah!" _'Seriously, Vexen?' _"How about something less creepy?" Axel tried.

"Well...he's always having to get new beakers and test tubes and cages and stuff. Like when the specimens get loose and break them."

_'Flaming pants, I have to get her out of there.'_ "Xion, when we get back, I'm gonna convince Saïx to let you transfer to Rox-"

_"But I _have_ slept with him,"_ memory whispered in his mind.

"...That is, to my room." _'Great, now they'll all think I'm a pedo. Thanks so much, Vexen. Someday, I will kill you.'_

Xion's face lit up. "Really? Oh, that would be wonderful!"

"The Organization seriously needs more girls...anyway." He cleared his throat. "Christmas shopping. You should buy stuff for people that you know they'd like."

Roxas made his Thinking Face. "Hm...so I guess for you, I should buy-"

"Nah ah ah, Roxas! You don't _tell_ people what you're going to get before you give it to them, it's supposed to be a surprise."

"Oh."

"And you don't have to spend munny, either. You can make gifts by hand, if you want to."

"Really? I kind of like that idea," Xion said thoughtfully.

With Axel's help, Roxas ended up purchasing a CD for Demyx, containing nine Christmas carols performed by an apparently famous sitar player. He also got a magical snow globe with real snow in it for Vexen, and a huge book of dessert recipes for Zexion. Just before they decided to quit for the day, he remembered to ask about stockings.

"They're like huge socks that you hang in front of the fireplace- Well, we don't have a fireplace at the castle, but we can use a shelf or a ledge or something. Anyway, you hang them up, and the night before Christmas, Santa - or your parents (don't you dare ask me what parents are), or in our case, whoever gets put in charge of stocking stuffers - will fill the stockings with candy and/or small toys. Or coal, if you've been really naughty."

"What's coal?"

"Do you think the Christmas elves will tell us what parents are?"

"If you ask _anyone_, I will set you on fire."

At first, they merely browsed around for ordinary stockings, but just when Roxas was about to throw a bunch of random ones into his shopping basket, Axel suddenly stopped him and said he had gotten an excellent idea. They went to a customer service counter, where Roxas and Xion watched in confusion as Axel put in an order for fourteen custom-made stockings. "Oi, Roxas. What do you want on your stocking?"

"Um...I dunno."

Axel shook his head. "What about you, Xion?"

"Hm...can I maybe have a picture of my Keyblade on mine?" she asked shyly.

"Sure."

It suddenly occurred to Roxas what he wanted his design to be. "Put an ice cream bar on mine."

"What color?" Axel teased.

Roxas was taken aback. "Well..."

"I know, I know. Sea-salt blue." Then Axel spent about ten minutes drawing pictures and explaining exactly what he wanted to the sales clerk, though somehow Roxas ended up paying the deposit.

"Okay, kiddos, I'd say it's time to RTC," Axel finally said, looking very satisfied.

When they got back to the castle, Axel and Xion immediately headed for the kitchen, talking about making quesadillas for dinner. Roxas hung back, watching Zexion, who was the only one in the Grey Area. The young man was sitting on a couch with one of his Nobody servants sleepily curled up next to him, absently gluing red berries onto round green garlands with an unhappy look on his face.

"Is Demyx not back yet?" Roxas finally asked.

Zexion glanced at him. "No, he's not."

"He's probably out playing. And hiding from you."

"Yes."

Roxas fidgeted. "You know," he finally said, "they sell Tree trees - I mean, Christmas trees - in Christmas Town. I can help you get one. I know my way around there pretty well by now," he added, a little proudly.

Zexion put the wreath down and gazed at him for so long that Roxas thought he was in trouble. At last, Zexion said softly, "I would appreciate that."

Roxas decided he would rather go now than have to sacrifice the next day's Christmas shopping, since he had already bought all the gifts he could find in Christmas Town. Zexion had no objection, so after Roxas had told his friends that he was going out again, the two of them opened a dark corridor to Christmas Town.

Roxas was still wearing his tin soldier costume, but the older Nobody stuck out like a sore thumb in his black coat. They hid behind a building. "It was rather awkward the last time I came here," Zexion murmured.

"It's because of your clothes. They don't like you looking scary or suspicious here."

"Yes."

"Wait here, I'll be back in a minute." Roxas soon returned with a big red Santa hat. "Here, put this on. They won't mind the coat if you're wearing this."

Zexion looked doubtfully at the fluffy hat, then slowly put it on his head as if it was explosive. Roxas surveyed him critically, then nodded. "You look good. Come on, let's go."

They went to the Christmas tree lot, where their choice seemed pretty obvious - the castle rooms tended to be large, and they would need something impressive. Roxas made a beeline for the very biggest tree in the lot. The saleself warily warned him about the price before stating the price itself, but the two Nobodies were both hard workers - between them, they had enough munny. Zexion ordered the tree to be delivered to a place outside town, then let Roxas pull him over to the restaurant with the fireplace.

"Axel takes us here every time we come to Christmas Town." Roxas bought a couple of hot chocolates and carried them over to the couch by the fireplace. He handed one to Zexion, who held it with a slightly bemused look on his face before sitting down next to Roxas and sipping at it.

"It's good, right?"

"Yes. Better than that awful stuff Demyx brought back the other day."

After a minute, Zexion pulled out a book. Realizing he had to move fast if he did not want to lose the older Nobody's company, Roxas asked the first thing that came into his head. "What was Christmas like for you when you were a kid?"

"We didn't celebrate Christmas when I was a child," Zexion said shortly.

"But you come from the same world as Axel, don't you? He said that he and his best friend used to-"

"I didn't have anything to do with him back then," Zexion snapped. "I was a scientist. Some of the castle staff took me in when I lost my parents, and I was put under Vexen's charge. He had no interest in acknowledging holidays - I spent every day cleaning out specimen cages and trying to decipher his handwriting so I could type his notes."

"Oh." There was a pause. Zexion opened his book. "I wish I could remember how I did Christmas before I became a Nobody," Roxas added hurriedly.

Zexion gave him a curious look. "So you really do remember nothing from your past?"

"Yeah. It's all just a big blank...I don't even remember my first week as Number XIII."

"I see." Zexion gave him a stern look. "Though I trust you do remember my tutorial."

Roxas nodded his head. "Yeah. I always fill the mission gauge, and when I can't, I go back and redo the holo-mission when I'm stronger. You can ask Saïx."

Zexion nodded in satisfaction. "I believe you." He drank the last of his chocolate. "Well, shall we go? It's getting late, and we both have work tomorrow."

The tree was waiting for them outside of town. Now that there was no one to see, Zexion was able to summon a crew of Dusks to haul it back to the castle. They got it set up in the deserted dining room, after which Demyx strolled in, whistling. He flinched at the sight of Zexion, then straightened up and smiled bravely. "Zexy! Long time no see, man! Hey, I see you got a tree!"

"Which means that _you didn't_," Zexion growled.

"Heh heh, well, see, about that..."

Zexion advanced grimly, his lexicon snapping open with its pages rustling ominously.

"No, wait, Zex, listen, I was gonna- No, wait! Roxas, help! Ahhh! Noooo!" He fled, screaming, with Zexion stalking after him.

Roxas shivered, then went to scrounge up something to eat. When he got to the Proof of Existence, he found Vexen yelling at Saïx ("How do you expect me to get anything done without a proper assistant?! The Dusks are more thickheaded than Number XIII!"), and Saïx responding with implacable coolness ("You are already under investigation for improper experimentation, Number IV. You would do well to hold your tongue"). A few of the other members were watching with interest, and some gave Roxas odd, sly looks when they saw him.

A little sulkily (_'I'm WAY smarter than Dusks...'_), Roxas took another bite of his sandwich and headed for the eighth portal.

As soon as he stepped inside, an Assassin leaped out of the floor, nearly startling him into dropping his plate. Its wings wrapped around him and drew him close, the spines piercing through his coat and pricking his flesh uncomfortably.

"Oi! Get off him!" There was a sound of snapping fingers, and the Assassin's head burst into flames. It hurriedly released Roxas and dove back into the ground to douse the fire. Roxas looked up to find Axel and Xion lounging on floor cushions with video game controllers, their race paused on the TV screen.

"Sorry, man."

"It's okay." Roxas was used to it by now. He was pretty sure that Axel's Assassins liked him, but just had not yet figured out how to properly express their affection. His Samurai were the same, always trying to catch Axel or Xion in duels so that they could tackle-glomp them if they won.

"Roxas!" Xion leaped to her feet, bounding over to her friend. "We were waiting for you. You went to Christmas Town again?"

"Yeah."

"Oi, saved you a quesadilla," Axel called, indicating a dish on the nightstand.

"It's cold by now," Xion pointed out.

"Well, your human microwave is sitting right here, so that ain't a problem."

Xion took the quesadilla over to Axel, who spread his hand over it for a minute; then she brought it to Roxas, now piping hot. Despite the sandwiches, Roxas was a growing boy and was not about to say no to more food. He munched on his second meal as he watched Axel and Xion resume their racing game.

The room had changed. Axel's bed had been pushed to a different wall, and a second bed had appeared on the opposite side. Xion's seashells, stuffed dog, toiletries, and panels were arranged on the shelves there, and her backpack hung from a hook on the wall.

"Xion? Are you living here now?" Roxas asked.

"Yes. Axel talked to Saïx for me, and I moved my stuff after dinner."

"How come you didn't move to a different room in the castle?"

"Well, Xemnas said no."

"Yeah," Axel added dryly. "Our honorable Superior _insisted_ that all Organization lodgings have to be in the Proof of Existence, otherwise 'the purpose of each carefully chosen chamber will be corrupted.' If you ask me, he's just obsessed with his area names and doesn't want someone snoring in the 'Vault of Secret Silence,' or putting on makeup in the 'Suite of No Reflections' or whatever."

"It's okay. I like staying with you, Axel," Xion assured him.

"Can I move in with you guys, too?" Roxas asked wistfully.

"You wanna run that idea by Saïx, be my guest. I'm not gonna go begging him to let me have even more minors for roommates."

Roxas sighed. He did not want to have any more interaction with the stern Luna Diviner than he had to. "Was Vexen mad about you leaving?" he asked instead.

Xion's shoulders slumped. "Yeah. He yelled at me."

"He'll get over it," Axel said dismissively.

"I'll kind of miss some of the specimens...Ein and Zwei were cute, they used to lick my fingers whenever I fed them..." Then she shuddered. "I'm glad to get away from Ren, though. If I didn't get the sedative measurements just right, she'd break out of her cage at night and come sit on my face while I was sleeping. One time I thought I was going to suffocate to death."

Axel shuddered. "Seriously, Vexen?" he muttered under his breath.

"I'm glad you moved," Roxas said. He had not liked having to peek into the Chilly Academic's room whenever he was looking for Xion.

Roxas ended up spending the night. Axel, staying up too late with the video games, finally sighed and stretched when his vision started getting too blurry to read his score. That was when he noticed that Roxas and Xion were curled up together on the floor next to him, fast asleep. He stared at them. "Ugh. You two are way too friggin' cute," he grumbled. He carried Xion to her bed and spread a spare blanket over Roxas, then collapsed onto his own mattress and fell asleep.

_To be continued..._

Author's Notes: I stopped liking "Phantom: Requiem for the Phantom" after about the seventh episode ("Let's make this harrowing surgery look as much like a sex scene as possible!"), but I couldn't help slipping in a reference, since it seemed to fit. I just stole Ren's name (from a different series) for the creeper specimen because I hate her, there's no connection.


	4. Nine icy snowflakes

**Christmas at the Castle, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic by Raberba girl**

**Chapter 4 - ...Nine icy snowflakes...**

Roxas woke up early again, probably because there was a crick in his neck from sleeping on the floor. He yawned, looked around, determined that both of his friends were still asleep, then went off in search of food.

The only one at the dining table this time was Lexaeus. Roxas eyed the big man as he sat down and began nibbling on his muffin. The Silent Hero seemed to be preoccupied with an interlocking puzzle, which suddenly came apart with a clink. Lexaeus took a satisfied sip of orange juice.

"So," Roxas finally ventured, "are you looking forward to Christmas?"

"Not particularly."

"Oh." Roxas finished his meal in silence.

When he walked into the kitchen to dispose of his muffin wrapper, he found Axel dumping an obscene amount of sugar into a mixing bowl filled with egg yolks, as Xion broke slices of toast into small pieces. "Roxas!" she greeted happily. "Axel says he found this recipe in Agrabah, and we wanted to try it out. Do you want some?"

"Sure." He was glad he had said yes, because the pieces of toast drizzled with sugar-drowned eggs were delicious. It put him in high spirits as they made their way to the Grey Area, where Zexion was re-arranging his panels and Saïx was waiting to give them their day's missions.

"Number XIV, you're on heart collection. Roxas, you will be destroying Shadow Globs. Axel, I need you to tackle a group of Large Armors."

"What?! Why do they get cushy jobs today, and you stick me with a whole herd of invincible-except-for-their-hard-to-reach-heads fatsos?!"

"What is the problem, can you not handle it?" Saïx said icily.

"Dude, don't insult me."

Just then, Demyx came staggering through the doorway. His coat was torn and missing one drawstring, the other drawstring lacking its pendant; the fastening chain was broken and hung to his waist, his hair was a mess, and he had a bruise on his face. He stared at them all with huge eyes. Then he screamed. "Noooooo! Axel, make it stop! Make it stop!"

Zexion covered his mouth to hide a delicate snicker. Everyone else looked at Axel, who threw up his hands in self-defense. "I have no idea what he's talking about!"

"It buuuuurns," Demyx wailed, sinking to his knees. "Dance, water, dan- GAH!" He was now surrounded by some of his concerned-looking water copies and Dancers, who were reaching out to hug him, pat his head, or offer him cups of Jell-o.

"THEY'RE BITING ME! THE OSTRICHES ARE BITING ME!"

"Demyx," Axel said cautiously, "those are your own minions. And they're fangirling on you."

"Noooo!"

Clearly disturbed, Xion tugged on Roxas's sleeve meaningfully. Nodding, he called for some Samurai to escort the Dancers and water clones away.

"Make it stop burning!" Demyx screeched.

Experimentally, Axel snapped his fingers. His weapons materialized, both in flames.

"Whew." Demyx shook himself. "About time."

They all watched in growing incredulity as he picked his way across the room: tripping over nothing, stepping carefully over more nothing, cursing as he banged his hip into emptiness, shoving his way between a pair of nothings, and swiping air out of his face. "Man, what'd Marly do to this place?" he complained. "It's like a jungle in here."

Everyone looked around the room, which was completely empty except for their bodies and the usual furniture.

Demyx halted in front of Roxas and suddenly grinned. "Meg! Hey there, honey! Whatcha doin' here in the castle?" He leaned over to kiss the very confused boy's cheek. "See, I _told_ you I wasn't serious about Helen-"

Axel angrily snatched Roxas out of the way. "What in the worlds do you think you're doing?"

Demyx gulped and backed away. "Herc! Didn't see ya there, heheh... Um, Meg, I guess I'll just catch you later." Then he caught sight of Xion and froze. "Ahhhh!" He ran across the room straight at Zexion, stumbling violently over nothing several times, so that he nearly fell. "Xiggy!" he cried, throwing himself behind the young man's couch. "Help! Zexion's gonna kill me!"

"Is he?" Zexion said sweetly. "Why, what_ever_ could you have done to tick him off, Dem?"

"I don't knoooww! Well, I do know, but, really, he's making _way_ too big a deal out of it...you gotta help me, Xig!"

Xion took a confused step forward. "Demyx? I-"

"NOT THE BOOK! NOT THE BOOOOOK!"

"You think I'm Zexion?" Xion realized in astonishment.

"Demyx, Zexion is the one you're hiding behind," Roxas pointed out, but to no avail.

"XIGGY, WARP-HOLE HIM OR SOMETHING! QUICK, BEFORE HE FLIPS TO THE CHAPTER OF DOOM!"

"Heh, calm down, Dem," Zexion purred, in an eerily perfect imitation of Xigbar's speaking style. "I'm sure he can be reasoned with...after all, you did break your promise like the naughty boy you are."

"He's going to eat me," Demyx whimpered. "With his _book_."

Axel was laughing by now, he could not help it. Roxas and Xion just looked supremely confused.

"Hm, let's see. What can we do to make Zexion happy and stop him from shattering your mind?" Zexion wondered with relish. "Oh, I know! You can try groveling. Get on your knees and beg for mercy, and promise that you'll-"

"Enough, Number VI," Saïx ordered. "Release him."

"Hmph." Zexion flipped to a page of his lexicon.

A minute later, Demyx blinked. He stared around the Grey Area. "What happened to all the trees?" Then he looked down at himself and yelped in surprise. "Ah, I need a new coat! And a bath. And, like, a gajillion ice cream bars." That was when he noticed that his arms were around the Cloaked Schemer's neck. "AAAAHHH!" He flung himself away and ran to hide behind Saïx. "Sai, help, Zexy's gonna kill me!"

"Go away, Number IX," Saïx snapped. "No mission for you today. Clean yourself up and get to work on the holiday preparations. Number VI will be in Wonderland all day, so make do without him."

Demyx fled. He bumped into Lexaeus and Luxord on the way out, who stared after him in puzzlement.

Luxord turned back to the room at large. "Did we miss something?"

"Nope." Axel clapped his hands down warningly on the kids' shoulders before they could speak. "Not a thing."

o.o.o.o.o

Twenty-one days before Christmas, and Agrabah was still _sweltering_. Roxas felt dead on his feet as he jogged along in a zombie-like state, snapping out of it only when a Heartless would pop up in front of him. The last straw was when he tripped right over a Shadow Glob and fell on his face.

Using language that he had picked up from Xigbar and Larxene, Roxas struggled back to his feet and ripped off his coat, flinging it to the ground and then bashing at the Shadow Glob as hard as he could to relieve his feelings. It burst with a satisfying pop, though the munny orb it expelled nearly hit him in the face. "Stupid Agrabah...stupid coat..."

He tossed things out of his backpack to make room for the coat, which he crammed in rebelliously. Then, noticing that one of the discarded items was a Potion he had found in a treasure chest, he drank it, and immediately felt a little better.

No longer feeling like he was trapped in a portable steam room, but with the sun now beating down mercilessly on the bare flesh of his arms, Roxas continued his mission searching for the huge purple globs. Trying to save his magic casts, he was forced into some strenuous acrobatics to reach a glob that was hiding beneath an awning. When he finally smashed it, sweat was pouring down his face and body, and he felt like he was going to faint from the heat. He went back to the pile of discarded items and gulped down another Potion scattered among them. "Forget it. I'm blasting the rest."

A couple of Fire spells later, the mission was done. A few globs were still clinging to the city here and there, but Roxas was not in the mood to pursue a completely full mission gauge. The holo-missions, since they were digital simulations, had adjustable weather.

"You, there! Young gentleman with the, er, giant key!"

Roxas hastily dismissed his weapon and turned around. A small man wearing a large turban and blue robes was surveying him greedily. "Might I interest you in my wares? I have quite an assortment of merchandise suitable for a warrior such as yourself..."

Roxas was breaking the undercover rules, but it was too late, the man had already seen him. He supposed there was no harm in looking over the items that were for sale.

"Ah, yes, that's it, come closer. I have here some wonderful elixirs," the man said about a few ordinary Potions. "A single draught will restore your health, bring refreshment to your bones, and leave you feeling energized!"

"No, thanks. What's in that jar?"

"Hm? Ah, yes. This polish will not only give a shine to your weapon, but its magic will repair any nicks or cracks, sharpen dull edges, improve the accuracy of your strikes...!"

"Hm...will it work on any weapon?" Roxas asked slowly.

"Certainly. This magical weapon polish can be yours, all for the measly price of...!"

Roxas barely listened to the price. He was still thinking. "It'll work on lances?"

"Of course, young master."

"How long will a bottle last if you're using six lances?"

"Well, that depends on the frequency of usage, of course."

"He uses them every day."

"I see. Well, in that case..."

In the end, Roxas walked away with Xaldin's new Christmas present, eager to show Axel and find out how well he had done in picking out a gift on his own, without any help at all.

Twilight Town's frosty winter weather was a welcome shock after the blazing desert of Agrabah. Roxas emerged in an enclosed empty lot, where he tossed his backpack aside, ripped off his coat again, and sat down with his back against the brick wall, sighing. The cold air was a sweet relief to his sunburned flesh, but he soon started shivering as his sweat-soaked tank top dried. Impatiently, he stripped it off and crammed it into his backpack.

With Roxas now shirtless, of _course_ that happened to be the moment when someone decided to wander into the empty lot. They stared at each other. Roxas recognized the girl - what was her name? Olette.

"Oh!" she finally exclaimed. "I know you. You're the guy who beat Hayner and Seifer's Grandstander records! Roxas, right?"

He nodded uncomfortably.

Olette's gaze moved down and then lingered. For some reason, Roxas could feel his face getting hot, despite the wintry air. "Lost your shirt?" she asked with a grin.

"I...well..." Roxas was still mad at his coat, and it would be uncomfortable to wear again anyway without the now-disgusting tank top, so he finally dug out his tin soldier shirt and coat. They went surprisingly well with his black Organization pants, though Madame Holly would not have approved.

"I'd love to chat," Olette was saying, "but I gotta get going. I'm on the clock." She grinned again as she stuck a flier on the wall. "Care to join me?"

"Um...I have to meet someone," he mumbled.

"Okay. I'll see you around."

However, they ended up going in the same direction to exit the lot, and Olette's poster-pasting route seemed to coincide with the way Roxas was heading to the clock tower. As they passed through an alley, the death-screech of an Avalanche caused Olette to gasp in alarm. "What was that?!"

"Uh..." Before he could stop her, Olette had hurried out into the square. Roxas's eyes widened when he saw Xion, her hand still sparkling briefly from the dismissal of her Keyblade, going around to collect the orbs that had been dropped by the defeated Heartless.

"Xion," Roxas called, warning her that they had company.

The girl turned around. "Roxas! Good timing. That was...uh, the last one." Her eyes moved to Roxas's companion.

"I'm Olette," she introduced herself readily. "Are you okay? Did you hear that noise? It sounded like one of the monsters we've been having problems with lately."

"Um...there aren't any monsters," Xion said truthfully. Then, not so truthfully, "I just...dropped my wallet and had to pick everything up."

"Did you get it all?" Olette asked as she put up another flier.

"Yes, thank you."

"Hm, my record isn't going to be very good this time around," Olette said ruefully as she stuck yet another poster to the wall. "I'm gonna have to go another round... Nah, I'll just deliver some messages after this. It's a lot quicker."

"What are you doing?" Xion asked curiously.

Olette laughed. "Trying to get un-broke so I can finish my Christmas shopping. I spent a bit too much on that skirt last Friday, so now I need more munny."

"You get munny by sticking pieces of paper on walls?" Roxas wondered.

"It's Poster Duty, silly! We're advertising for the next Struggle tournament. You should compete," Olette added, sizing up Roxas. "I think you'd be good at it."

They were now near the slope leading up to Station Heights, passing a shop which seemed to be crowded with girls.

Olette came to a dead halt. "OMG, it's _Edward Cullen_!" she suddenly screamed, so loudly that Roxas clapped his hands over his ears. "Aahh! _Aaahhh_! The new stuff FINALLY came in!" Dropping the stack of fliers she had been carrying, she dashed at the store.

Roxas and Xion stared after her in astonishment, then at each other. Without any spoken agreement, they both shrugged and headed over to see what all the fuss was about.

Inside the store, there was a long line at the cash register, and girls were clumped about here and there, talking to each other in excited squeals.

"Oh!" Xion exclaimed. "I know that guy!"

"Who?"

Xion pointed to a rack of T-shirts with a man's hungry-eyed face and the name 'Edward' printed on them. Roxas shivered. The guy's expression was creepy. "Is that a Dusk?" he asked, noticing the unhealthy-looking, chalk-white pallor.

"I don't know," Xion answered. "Larxene likes him, though."

"She does?" Roxas said in surprise.

"Yeah, she has a picture of him on her panurgh...uh...I know she likes him."

"Hmm..." Roxas took a shirt off the rack and looked at it. Then he shuddered again and crunched up the garment so that he didn't have to see it wanting to eat him. "You sure Larxene likes this?"

"Yes."

"Okay. I'm going to buy this for her Christmas present, then."

"Really?" Xion said doubtfully, remembering the Savage Nymph's scary reaction to Xion commenting on her Twilight attire.

"I'll show it to Axel, and if he thinks it's no good, I'll just return it."

"Okay."

Roxas was attracting a lot of attention, especially after he got in line to pay. Everyone seemed to be staring at him. The girls just ahead of him in line were whispering together heatedly while stealing glances at him. Finally, one of them spoke to him directly. "You're really pretty. You _are_ a boy, right?"

"Of course I am!"

There was a chorus of delighted squeals, and then it seemed like everyone was trying to ply him with questions at the same time.

"How long have you been a fan?"

"Which book is your favorite?"

"Are you Team Edward or Team Jacob?"

He stared at them in utter confusion. "What?"

"Come on, you can tell us!"

"Who do you want to get Bella?"

Roxas wondered what 'bella' was and if it was a good thing, but was afraid to ask. "Um..."

"Tell us, hurry! Team Edward or Team Jacob?"

Roxas could not very well say that he was on the Organization's team, and if 'Edward' was the starving Dusk, he wanted nothing to do with him. "I guess...Team...Jacob?" He threw his hands over his ears as they all screamed, some of them looking disgusted, but others looking ecstatic.

"OMG OMG I KNEW IT!"

"Ugh, figures."

"Hmph, boys never have any taste!"

"I LOVE YOU!"

This last girl actually threw her arms around Roxas's neck and squeezed him tightly. He was about to instinctively summon his Keyblade before he remembered that he would get in trouble for revealing his weapon in public. "Please go away," he whimpered.

Xion pulled the girl off. "Can you not touch him? It makes me uncomfortable," she said.

"Ooohh!"

"Is this your girlfriend?"

"Do you guys ever do reader's theater together?"

"Have you posted any cosplay pictures online?"

Roxas had an idea. He took out some munny orbs and handed them to Xion, along with the still firmly crumpled shirt. "Xion, could you please buy this for me?" He leaned close to whisper in her ear, "I'll wait for you outside."

Xion nodded. "Okay. See you."

Roxas struggled out of the crowd and escaped into the restroom at the back of the store. He took the opportunity to change his pants so that his Christmas Town costume was complete, then draped his coat over his shoulders and opened a dark corridor to a nearby alley. He waited there until he saw Xion come out.

When she did, he walked over to join her, and she handed over the shopping bag with Larxene's shirt in it. He noticed that she was also carrying a second shopping bag from the same store, and supposed that she had purchased something for herself. "Are you ready to go meet Axel?" she asked.

He nodded. "Definitely."

Up on the clock tower, Axel laughed to see Roxas's costume. "We're not going to Christmas Town today, buddy."

"I know. I just...don't want to wear my coat right now."

"You're gonna have to in the corridors."

"I _know_. I'll put it on when we travel, then take it off again when we get there."

Axel shrugged. "Suit yourself. What's up with the bags?"

He was more than happy to judge the purchases. "Is this okay for Xaldin?" Roxas asked anxiously.

The older Nobody shrugged. "Sure, it never hurts to have a can of blade polish." He blinked, then suddenly grinned. "And considering that you picked this out all by your bad self, I'd say it's an _excellent_ gift. Great job, buddy!"

Roxas beamed.

"How 'bout you, Xion?"

"Oh, this isn't for Christmas," Xion said, swinging her shopping bag. "It's just that the girls in the store kept talking about it, so I got curious. I think I'm probably going to make everyone's gifts by hand."

"Cool. What else you got, Roxas?"

"This is Larxene's." Roxas pulled out the shirt and handed it over.

Axel unfolded it. "GAH!" He snatched his hands back as if the shirt had bitten him, and only some quick reflexes on Roxas's part saved it from fluttering down to the pavement below.

"Be careful! I don't want it to get dirty, or Larxene might get mad."

Axel was staring in shock, as if Roxas had just proposed marriage to him or something. "You bought an _Edward Cullen_ shirt for _Larxene_?!"

"Xion said she likes him," Roxas muttered. "But it's okay, I can just get her something else."

Now Axel was staring at Xion. "Larxene told you she likes _Edward Cullen_?"

"Why do you keep saying his name like that?" Roxas wondered.

Xion shrugged. "Well, not exactly, it's just...well, I saw that face, and...er..." She looked distressed. "Larxene will hurt me, so I can't tell."

Slowly, a grin began to spread over Axel's face. "Larxene likes _Edward Cullen_?"

"Y...Yes."

"Larxene likes _Edward Cullen_." Axel cackled like an evil scientist. "Oh, you two, this is _gold_. Thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my non-existent heart."

"So...should I get her a different present?" Roxas asked cautiously.

"No! No _way_. Trust me, this is perfect." Axel laughed heartily again. "Ah, I knew it'd pay off to make friends with you two... Anyway, we better get going, it's getting late."

They traveled to Wonderland, where they found a shop which sold odd novelties. Roxas and Xion spent far more time playing with the weird merchandise than they did actually shopping, but eventually, Roxas found something that might do for Xigbar: a large red handkerchief that transported anything placed under it behind the ear of the nearest person who was not touching it.

Roxas tested it on Xion first, laying the cloth over a munny orb, then pulling the same orb out from behind her ear. She laughed. Then he tried it on Axel, asking him to take off one of his gloves in order to place the handkerchief over it. Axel cursed and clawed frantically at his ear, behind which the glove had materialized. "Gah! Like a freaking spider or something..."

"Are you afraid of spiders, Axel?" Xion asked interestedly.

"No. Of course I'm not afraid of spiders. That's dumb. Nobodies can't be afraid of anything. We don't have emotions, so even if I _was_ afraid of spiders in my past life - which I wasn't, - I wouldn't be afraid of them now. I'd never be afraid of spiders. There's nothing to be afraid of, anyway; they're just big dumb bugs with eight freaking legs...and googly eyes...and eight legs...and some of them are all hairy and gross and they have eight legs and STOP LAUGHING."

Xion pressed both hands over her mouth to stifle her giggling, and Roxas hid a smile as he folded the handkerchief and put it back in its shopping bag.

As they were passing through the garden, a reddish pink flower suddenly swayed into Roxas's path and said in a delicate, whispering voice, "Give me an Elixir."

"It talked!" Roxas looked at Axel, who shrugged. He looked back at the flower again. It bobbed expectantly. "Um...okay." He dug around for his Elixir panel and held it up. The flower ate it, brushing silken petals against Roxas's palm. Then it expelled a heap of HP balls onto his head.

"...Thanks." Roxas had an idea. "Hey, flower? Do you like it here in the garden?"

"This is where I am rooted."

"Would you like to travel?"

"What is 'travel'?" the flower asked politely.

Roxas smiled. It felt good to be the explainer for once. "It's when you go somewhere else, like to see different things and meet new people. I was just wondering if you'd like to live in a place outside of Wonderland."

He looked at Axel again, who seemed to have caught on and flashed him a thumbs-up.

"Hm...but how shall I leave this place? I do not have legs."

Roxas put his coat on again, then helped the others carefully dig out the flower, taking care not to damage its roots. They placed it in Roxas's hood, which they filled with even more soil. Despite this, the flower apparently did not feel secure enough, and reached out its vines and leaves to twine around Roxas's arms and entangle clumps of his hair in order to anchor itself. Roxas tried not to mind too much as they continued on their way.

Further shopping was pretty inconvenient with a large talking flower growing in Roxas's hood, so they soon decided to call it a day.

"You better RTC straight to your room," Axel advised. "Xion and I'll grab a mission report form for you."

"Okay. See you soon."

When Roxas got to the Grey Area, he was surprised not only to find it empty except for one person, but at the fact that Saïx was sitting in a chair rather than lording it up at the head of the room.

The Luna Diviner looked up at the boy's entrance. "Hmph. Finally." He tucked his clipboard under his arm and stood up. "Give me your report quickly, then go to the dining room. Lord Xemnas has ordered us all to take part."

"Huh?"

It was strange, seeing the entire Organization working together. They were never even all present in the same place except during meetings, yet here was everyone, helping each other decorate the Christmas tree.

Well, as much as could be expected, anyway. Larxene was playing a chess game with Xaldin in one corner, as Xemnas lounged in a chair and surveyed the proceedings with bored detachment. Demyx was bouncing merrily around, giving out enthusiastic orders, suggestions, criticism, and encouragement in a failed attempt to hide the fact that he was getting no actual work done himself.

Everyone else, however, was busy decorating the room and the tree. "Ask Demyx or Zexion what to do," Saïx said. "Or Axel, if you like." He moved off to stop Marluxia from fastening some kind of plant over the kitchen doorway.

Roxas went over to Xion, who was trying to untangle a string of lights as Axel worked to fasten the untangled end around the perimeter of a window frame. "Here, let me help you with that," Roxas offered.

Xion smiled at him. "Thanks. How is, um, our Elixir-drinking friend doing?"

"It's asleep. I put it by the window."

"I'll ask Vexen for a sun lamp," Xion promised. "Plants need sunlight to grow."

"But what if he's still mad at you for moving out?"

Axel spoke up, keeping his voice low so that he would not be overheard. "Then I'll steal one from Marluxia, don't worry about it."

"You're gonna _steal_ one?"

"Hey, he'll get it back by the end of the month, right? Wouldn't want his new pet to die in the meantime."

"I guess you have a point."

Life in the Castle That Never Was was not generally enjoyable, but Roxas ended up having fun that evening. With everyone else's conversations going in the background, he and his friends got the lights up and running, then set up the candlesticks. At one point, Demyx put on a Christmas CD to "set the mood."

It was funny to watch Xigbar walking around upside-down in midair, the only one able to reach the top of the tree without a ladder (well, Xaldin could have gusted aloft if he had been so inclined and not minded blowing apart what everyone had finished so far. Also, Xemnas could have levitated up, but Roxas was pretty sure that their Great Leader had fallen asleep with his eyes open - he stared straight ahead without moving, and did not even blink or react when Xigbar mischievously hung a candy cane from his ear).

Vexen was constantly whining about something or other ("It's too hot in here! Why is my presence required when I wanted nothing to do with this foolishness? My experiments are being neglected! _Why isn't anyone listening to me?!_"), but Demyx's antics, the chatter, and the CD were enough to drown out most of it. Lexaeus silently did whatever was asked of him, including moving the huge dining room table further away to make more room around the tree. Zexion and Saïx sat together, wrapping fake presents to go under the tree for the sake of appearance, both appearing to be surprisingly happy despite not saying much. Luxord worked on the lower half of the tree with occasional help from Lexaeus, wrapping strings of lights and tinsel around the branches before handing them up to Xigbar to finish, and then hanging candy canes and the ornaments everyone had painted wherever there was bare space. Marluxia went around placing potted plants throughout the room and hanging garlands of artificial flowers, just because "Christmas would not be Christmas without flowers, and anyone who objects can sit on my scythe."

At last, the boxes of decorations were empty, and the Castle That Never Was's dining room was as festive as anything in Christmas Town.

"Okay!" Demyx cheered. "Nearly done! Superior, time for your big finale!"

Silence.

Everyone looked at Xemnas. The candy cane dangling from his ear was so ridiculous that Xion giggled, then clapped her hand over her mouth.

Xemnas stared straight ahead, unblinking.

Finally, Saïx picked up Zexion's lexicon, raised it high, and dumped it with a resounding crash on the table.

Xemnas jerked. "Why do you despise the Void?" he boomed.

Everyone kept staring at him. "We don't," Xigbar finally said. "We're all for the Void, man. Can't do without that Void, no sirree."

Xemnas gazed around at them all. Xion was so desperate to stifle her laughter that she dove to hide behind Roxas, biting down hard on her own sleeve.

"Saïx," Xemnas commanded imperiously, "give me a status report."

"Christmas decorating is 99% complete, sir," Saïx said with a straight face. "Now we simply await your conclusion."

"Hm?"

Demyx held out the tree topper (shaped like the Nobody insignia) with a smile. "All yours, Superior!"

"It goes at the very top of the tree," Xigbar added helpfully.

"Ah." Xemnas took the topper, floated up majestically, and placed it on the tree's crown. Several people applauded, though their expressions were rather sarcastic.

"All right!" Demyx cheered. "Roxas, Xion, hit it!"

They both stared at him, alarmed at being called on. "What?"

Axel poked them in the backs. "Light, dummies. Turn on the lights."

"Oh."

Demyx signaled to Zexion, who darkened the room; a second later, the Key of Destiny and his replica summoned their powers, and the Christmas tree's strings of tiny, multi-colored lights filled the room with a bright glow.

There was a general intake of breath. Cold, heartless, emotionless monsters they might have been, but regardless, several of the Nobodies were overcome with awe for a moment. "It's beautiful," Xion whispered. Zexion, Saïx, and even Larxene seemed mesmerized, a fact which did not escape Axel's notice.

Then Xigbar cracked a joke, and Xaldin made some cutting remark, and Vexen started whining again and someone turned the overhead lights back on and Larxene short-circuited the CD player, and everything was back to normal.

Yet, the image stayed in the minds of Roxas and Xion, and the warmth of Christmas magic seemed to settle where their hearts should have been. She looked over at him and smiled. "Christmas is...a wonderful thing, isn't it?"

He smiled hugely at her. "Yep."

Axel laughed. "You two are such kids."

_To be continued..._

Author's Notes: The timeline is off, sorry about that.

I wrote this chapter before _Raindrops & Whiskers_, so the spiders thing in that fic is a reference to it, though the two fics don't take place in the same universe. (Axel actually is scared of spiders here, whereas he was only pretending in R&W.)


	5. Eight squeaky hammers

**Christmas at the Castle, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic by Raberba girl**

**Chapter 5 - ...Eight squeaky hammers...**

Someone was pelting him with HP balls. "Give me an Elixir."

Roxas groaned. He had forgotten about Marluxia's sentient Christmas present. Rolling out of bed, he went to the shelf where he kept his panels and rummaged around until he found what the flower apparently needed for breakfast. "Here." He was rewarded with a shower of more totally unneeded HP balls.

"I feel sick. Where is the sun?"

"Oh yeah." Roxas walked over to the sun lamp Axel had stolen the night before, and turned it on. The flower stretched its leaves and petals toward the light. "Aaahhh," it sighed in contentment.

"I'll be gone all day," Roxas told it. "Will you be okay here?"

"I have my Elixir. I have my sunlight. I am happy."

Roxas nodded. "Good." He grabbed some clothes and headed for the bathroom and then the kitchen, where he and Axel put together a stack of breakfast tacos.

Number XIII was a terrible conversationalist that morning - his attention kept drifting to and fixating on the Christmas tree, which he had re-lit as soon as he had walked into the dining room. It was so, so beautiful. The magic of Christmas completely filled this once cold and bare room, making him feel happy just looking at it.

"Oi! Earth to Roxas!"

"Huh?"

Axel shoved him playfully. "You're off in La La Land again. Admiring our handiwork?"

"Yeah."

"We did do a good job," Axel observed, looking over at the tree. "Not bad for a bunch of emotionless Scrooges."

"Where are we going shopping today, Axel?" Roxas asked, biting into his third taco.

"It's a surprise. We'll meet at the clock tower as usual, but the other place has some great ice cream, so save your munny."

Xion was not in the Grey Area when they came in, and no one had seen her. Axel frowned. "You can go ahead and take off, buddy. I'm going to go check on her."

He nearly materialized straight at his destination, but then remembered that he had a roommate now. At the last second, Axel altered his course so that he ended up in the Proof of Existence instead. Sighing a little, he reached to knock at his own bedroom portal. "Xi? You still in there?"

An Assassin came out, its deadly wings waving about happily when it saw its master. "Oi, Xion's not in there doing female things, is she?"

_"She sleeps,"_ the Assassin whispered into his mind.

"What?" Axel pushed into his room and discovered that, sure enough, Xion was still curled up under her covers.

"Xion!" He went over and shook her shoulder. "Get up, you're late for work. Saïx is gonna kill you."

The girl stirred, making a cute sleepy noise before curling up even tighter.

"Xi! Wake UP, this is not a vacation day!"

Misty blue eyes fluttered slowly open. "Mm...Axel...?"

"Rise and shine, sleeping beauty. You don't have time for breakfast."

"Huh?" Xion looked at her clock, then shrieked and flew out of bed, accidentally smacking him in the face with her quilt. "Oh no! I'm late!"

"Vexen would applaud your brilliant deduction."

Xion dashed around, cramming random panels into her slot grid and seizing her backpack, boots, and the closest coat at hand, which happened to be the one she had worn the day before.

After the panicked Nobody had streaked out of the room, Axel looked around. A book on Xion's nightstand caught his eye, perhaps the reason she had stayed up so late the night before. It was thick, with a black dust jacket and a picture of a pair of hands holding an apple on the front cover.

Axel incinerated it. There was no conscious decision on his part, it was simply a reflex. Then he shivered as the implication sank in. "Xi...if you become a Twihard, I'm disowning you." He shook his head and went back to get his mission assignment for the day.

o.o.o.o.o

Roxas finished his mission early, and since Axel had told him not to buy ice cream, he got a bag of chips instead, eating them impatiently as he waited for his friends to show up. _'They're all salty, and they don't taste sweet at all.'_

The sound of a portal opening caught his attention, and he looked over to see Xion walking toward him. "Finished with your mission?"

"Yes. How did yours go?"

"Same as usual."

They sat and talked until Axel showed up, carrying a shopping bag.

"Did you buy some presents?" Roxas asked.

"Nope, these are the stockings, I stopped by Christmas Town to pick them up. I'm not buying gifts for anyone."

"Really?" they exclaimed in surprise.

"No way. I'm not about to waste good munny on people I don't even like." He laughed at their expressions. "Well, since I like you two, maybe I'll get something for you. If I feel like it."

"That's so nice of you," Roxas said dryly.

"Okay, kiddos, here's the deal. We're going somewhere really fun today, you'll like it. Thing is, you need special entrance passes to go there." He smiled as he brandished two cheerfully-colored cards. "Which, luckily, I still have. Sometimes it pays to never clean out your pockets, or your closet." He handed one of the cards to Xion. "You can use Saïx's. Trust me," he added in response to the alarmed look on her face, "he won't miss it." Axel slipped the second card back into his pocket. "And I'll use mine, of course."

"What about me?" Roxas asked anxiously.

Axel gave him a strange, almost sad look. "Don't worry, they'll let you in."

There were long lines at the town gates, since apparently there was some sort of festival going on. The trio talked about work and ice cream and hair products until it was finally their turn to be admitted. Axel displayed his pass, and the raccoon lady in the booth fastened a plastic bracelet around his wrist. Xion got a bracelet, too. Then the raccoon looked at Roxas, smiling. "And you, dear?"

"Uh..." The boy looked to Axel for help.

Number VIII smiled charmingly at the clerk. "I'm really sorry, we lost his pass, but you should have a record of him." Axel leaned close and said in a whisper that Roxas was pretty sure he was not meant to hear, "He should be listed as 'Ventus.'"

"Hm, really?" The raccoon clerk clicked around on her computer for a minute. Then her eyes widened, and she gave Roxas a big smile. "Ah, here you are! Welcome back, honey! It's been quite a while, hasn't it? My, you still look so young."

"Uh..."

"Yeah, we really can't wait to enjoy this year's festival," Axel broke in loudly. "Are we good to go?"

The raccoon lady fixed a bracelet around Roxas's wrist. "All set!"

The three Nobodies walked into the town's central square, the younger ones staring around in wide-eyed amazement. Xion gripped Axel's hand without realizing and squeezed it in excitement. Axel himself had a faraway look in his eyes and a nostalgic expression on his face before he shook his head and snapped out of it. "Okay, then! What do you guys think? Shopping first, or do you want to play?"

Roxas grasped Axel's sleeve and pointed urgently. "What's that?"

"That'd be Rumble Racing. Wanna try?"

Axel won the first round, laughing and whooping as if, despite his lost heart, he was having the time of his life. The kids demanded a rematch and were so determined to beat him that, in their zeal, they accidentally collided at the end and tumbled over the finish line together.

After that, Axel lost any semblance of control he had had over the excursion. Roxas and Xion dragged him from one end of the town to the other, insisting that he try out everything with them, demanding explanations for everything from karaoke to autograph books, and flaying him with Big Blue-Eyed Puppy Looks when he attempted to refuse squeezing himself onto rides designed for six-year-olds.

"Hey, look, ice cream!" he finally cried at one point, desperate for a break. The kids immediately seized his arms and towed him over to the ice cream shop, where they were greeted by a smiling duck lady. "Welcome! What can I get for-?" The duck suddenly broke off and stared at Roxas. "You look familiar," she murmured.

"I do?" he said uncertainly.

"You got a menu or something?" Axel asked hurriedly. "Roxas, Xion, skip the sea-salt today, you're not gonna find Disney Town ice cream anywhere else."

The duck was staring between Roxas and something in a picture frame on the inside wall of the shop - Roxas, framed thing, Roxas, framed thing, Roxas. Then she gasped. "It _is_ you!" She lunged forward and seized the front of his coat, startling him. "_Stay there_! Don't run away!" she quacked frantically. Then she ran around the inside of the shop, collecting ingredients and mixing them furiously together. The kids looked questioningly at Axel, but he just shrugged.

Then the duck came back to the counter, beaming and carrying an ice cream concoction in one hand and a strange bulky device in the other.

Seeing the device, Axel made a sound like "Urk" and whipped his hood up, reaching over to yank Xion's hood over her head as well. Roxas started to do the same, but for some reason, Axel laid a hand on his arm to stop him.

"Here we go!" the duck said cheerfully, handing the ice cream to Roxas and adjusting some controls on the device, which she then held up in front of her face. "Tell us what you think of your award, dear! This recipe was created just for you."

Wondering if an 'award' was like a 'reward,' Roxas glanced at Axel again, who nodded, then raised a spoonful of the frosty treat to his mouth.

His eyes widened. "W...Whoooaaa! This is _so good_! I-I think I...I might even like it better than sea-salt."

"What?" Axel exclaimed indignantly.

The duck beamed. "I'm so glad, dear!" She pressed some more controls and put the device down on the counter. "Two down, one more to go," she said happily, looking at the framed thing. Roxas was starting to want to know what was in that frame, but it faced the inside of the shop and he could not see it.

"So we're just supposed to watch Roxas eat his special ice cream and drool longingly?" Axel huffed, lowering his hood again now that the video camera was off.

The duck laughed. "Well, since you're friends of our winner here, I'd be happy to offer you both some ice cream on the house. Just sit tight now, I have the perfect tastes in mind for each of you!"

"Don't go to any trouble, just-" The duck lady did not hear, she was already humming as she scooped ice cream into a handled dish. Axel sighed. "Never mind." He looked much happier, however, when he actually took a bite of his Bueno Volcano. "Gah, this is so good...mm, _so good_-" It was at that moment that he burst into flames. "Ah!"

Nearby, Xion squealed as she was suddenly swept up in a gust of wind. Roxas, who had finally resumed eating once his friends had their own 'awards'(?), gasped as six crystal blades materialized at his back like wings.

The three friends stared at each other. Then Axel grinned. "Told ya there's nothing like Disney Town ice cream. Hurry and enjoy it, the effects will wear off."

Xion floated about, looking delighted as she rode the wind. Roxas experimented curiously, seeing if the blade wings followed him even when he ran and jumped and Air Slid and Dodge Rolled (they did). Axel played with the flames dancing around his body, showing off a bit in his mastery of the element.

Eventually they finished eating, and the flames/wind/wings faded away.

So Roxas and Xion insisted on buying a second round, to Axel's exasperation. "You kids have fun getting sick on ice cream overload, I'm gonna go wait over there..."

All the benches in the square were occupied, so Axel chose one that would give him a lot of space between himself and the person on the far end. She was a rather fat woman who was fanning herself and pushing a stroller back and forth, rocking the nearly asleep baby inside. Axel half expected her to either leave or cringe away, but instead, she turned to him with a big smile and said, "You have beautiful children!"

"What?" Axel sputtered.

"Oh, I'm sorry, hon - you're too young to be their daddy, aren'tcha. Taking out your little brother and sister, then, eh?"

"We're-" _not related_, Axel started to say, but then realized that he looked suspicious enough, he did not want anyone to get the idea that he had kidnapped those two or something. "Yeah," he mumbled. "My, uh, stepmom got sick, but the kids had their hearts set on coming and she couldn't find a baby-sitter, so...yeah."

"Well, aren't you a sweet thing," she gushed, scooting closer. "Just like my grandbaby. Isn't he gorgeous?"

"Adorable," Axel said, without bothering to look into the stroller.

"You can hold him if you like," she said eagerly, already scooping up the baby and bundling it into Axel's arms.

"Eh?! No, wait, I don't-! Oi, doesn't he need his sleep or something?" Axel sat stiffly, his arms rigid around the thing as if the slightest movement would break it.

The infant stirred restlessly and opened its big blue eyes. For a moment, the disconcerted Nobody and the tiny Somebody stared into each other's faces. Then the baby reached up and seized a lock of Axel's hair.

"_Ow_!"

"Aw, he likes you!"

When Roxas and Xion came over after finishing their ice creams, they were surprised and interested to see the Flurry of Dancing Flames holding a baby, struggling to keep its curious hands away from his face as a large woman sitting next to them blathered on about something called 'diapers.'

"What are you doing, Axel?" Roxas asked.

"Being assaulted."

"It's - It's an _itty bitty person_! He's so cute!" Xion squealed, touching the baby's little button nose.

Axel tried in vain to give the baby back to its grandmother. "Sorry, but we've gotta get going-"

"Oh, nonsense, you can stay and let your cute little sister play with-"

Just then, there was a sound of trickling liquid. Roxas and Xion watched as all trace of expression drained out of Axel's face.

"Oh, my!" the lady fussed, taking out a handkerchief and swiping ineffectually at Axel's lap. "The poor dear's gone and pee-peed on your coat! Ah well, babies will be babies."

Expression was slowly beginning to creep back into the fire lord's face. Roxas and Xion, recognizing murderous intent, knew they had to act fast.

"I'll hold him for a minute," Xion said quickly, snatching the baby out of her friend's hands and clutching it protectively to her chest, soiled diaper and all.

"I'll go buy you a clean shirt, Axel," Roxas said hurriedly. "Promise you won't kill anyone before I come back!" He raced away.

The lady laughed. "What a funny little boy! Oh, darlin', don't you just look _precious_ holding my grandbaby like that!"

Xion smiled. "Yes, he's really, really cute. I don't see how anyone could _ever _want to kill him, right, Axel? ...Please?"

Axel, whose murderous intent was actually directed at the child's grandmother, now stood up and burst into ominous flames - this time without the help of any ice cream.

"Well, now! That's certainly an impressive trick. Are you a performer?"

Axel gave her a slasher smile.

_To be continued..._

Author's Notes: **The record of Ven was the Million Dreams Award, it didn't have anything to do with the generic pass.**


	6. Seven dusty books

**Christmas at the Castle, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic by Raberba girl**

**Chapter 6 - ...Seven dusty books...**

By the time Roxas came running back, Axel was making up very creative PG-rated swear words as Xion patted his shoulder soothingly.

"Where's the fat lady and the tiny person?" Roxas asked worriedly.

"The little person's - Axel called it a 'piss machine' - parents came by and took them away before he could do anything to them."

"You found out what 'parents' are?" Roxas asked eagerly.

"Yeah, apparently they're people who make piss machines."

"Huh. I wonder why Axel didn't want us to know that."

Axel, listening to this conversation, was starting to cheer up a little. It just did his non-heart good to hear Xion using the phrase 'piss machine.' "Oi, you got my shirt?"

Roxas proudly held up a lemon-yellow T-shirt with a large Mickey head emblazoned on the front.

Axel went back to making up swear words.

"I think he's mad because you forgot to take the tag off," Xion said uncertainly.

"Oh. Oops. Here, Axel, I'll tear it off so it won't poke you when you put it on."

"Just so you know, kiddos, your utter cluelessness stopped being funny a long time ago," Axel muttered. He stood up and stripped off his smelly coat and then his tank top.

"Oh - why don't you just wear your tank top around?" Roxas asked, realizing that he might have been a dummy again.

"Because it's covered with skulls and dirty rock band lyrics, and the park officials would kick me out for violating the family-friendly dress code."

"Axel, I think you need to eat more," Xion said worriedly, observing her friend's ribs (she could count every single one).

"I eat fine," Axel grumbled, yanking the humiliating T-shirt over his head.

When he was dressed, the kids told him about what they had been interested in before the baby incident. Axel looked where they were pointing, at the stage next to the ice cream shop, in front of which a crowd had been slowly gathering. "They're going to put on a show," he explained. "And before you start shooting me with your puppy eyes, _yes_ we can watch it," _because even with this evil T-shirt to motivate me, I _still_ can't resist those eyes of yours, and as long as Saïx and the others don't see me in this yellow monstrosity, I'll survive._ "But that sign says we still have ten minutes, and there's something I need to take care of first."

They went over to a photo booth and piled inside, where Axel only responded to their confused inquiries by instructing, "Look at that little circle and smile."

There was a flash of light. Both Roxas and Xion gasped in surprise.

"_Don't_ break it," Axel said sharply, remembering that their element was Light. "It's just taking pictures, don't worry."

"What's pic-?"

"I'll explain later, we've got three more to go. Now, smile!"

Flash!

"It doesn't hurt."

"It's not supposed to."

"Why are we smiling?"

There was no time to reply properly at the moment. "Because I told you to."

Flash!

"Is this some kind of weird training?"

"Ugh, I need to take you guys out more often... Hey, this is the last one. Do a silly pose!"

Flash!

"Okay, we're done."

"I don't get it."

"Neither do I."

Axel pushed out of the booth and picked up the strip of photographs, examining them in satisfaction. In the first one, Roxas and Xion looked startled; in the second and third, they were smiling uncertainly; and in the fourth, they seemed perplexed as he gave them bunny ears in the background. "Excellent." He looked up to find the kids staring at him. He grinned, carefully tearing off two of the photos and holding them out on his palm. "Here, you guys can have the extras."

"Hey...that's us!"

"How'd you put us into these tiny things?!"

Axel explained it to them as they bought some hot dogs and found seating. When they finally understood, they were eager to hurry back and take some more photos, but by that time, the show was starting.

A lady, wearing a colorful foofy dress and a mouse-ears headband just like Roxas, Xion, and half the people in the audience were wearing, had come onstage and was now booming enthusiastically into a microphone. "Okay, kids! Do you know what time it is?"

"No," Roxas and Xion answered, at the same time seemingly every other child in the crowd screamed excitedly, "IT'S MOUSEKETEER TIME!" Axel facepalmed.

The two younger Nobodies were both confused and fascinated, watching as people in huge ridiculous costumes danced and sang and put on skits, occasionally calling on children from the audience to participate. At one point, someone threw handfuls of black Hidden Mickey stickers to the crowd. Roxas caught one, then gave it to Xion, who smiled and put it on her cheek like she had seen another girl do.

"All-righty!" the lady on stage announced. "Now we'll sing our last song, to say good-bye to our Mouseketeers! Who will be our volunteers? Ah! What about you two cuties in the black coats?"

Roxas and Xion were startled as the spotlight fell on them. Axel quickly scooted over to hide the _FLURRY WUZ HERE_ graffiti he had been singeing into the bench.

"Us?"

"Come on up, come on up!" the lady sang out merrily, as everyone in the audience began shouting encouragement.

Uncertainly, Roxas and Xion got up and made their way down the aisle. An actor in a huge dog costume seized Xion and swung her easily up on stage, then did the same for Roxas.

"Just come right on over here where we can all see you, that's it! What's your name, sweetie?"

After a glance at Axel, she offered the first fake name that came to mind. "My name is...Kairi."

"How pretty! And you, big guy?"

"Um, V-Ventus." Did she really think he was big?

"Wonderful! My, you two must be stifling in those big ol' coats! Jeff, do we have some souvenirs for these troopers?" Someone handed her a couple more Mickey head T-shirts, which she presented to the kids with a smile. "Here you go! Let's see you show your Mouse Pride!"

Feeling uncomfortable about stripping in public like Axel had earlier, Xion pulled the bubblegum-pink shirt on over her coat, fiddling with the chains so that they hung over the outside and were not being squished against her body. Roxas followed suit, though his shirt was fire-engine-red instead of pink.

"Perfect! Aren't they wonderful? Now, Kairi, Ventus, are you ready to help us out?"

"Um, sure." Xion looked around for Heartless to eliminate.

"Excellent! You know the words to the Good Night Song, right?"

Roxas and Xion looked at each other, then down at their shoes.

"Oh, well, that's okay! The words will be on that big screen there, and the Mouseketeers will sing each verse first, you just have to read the lyrics and repeat what they say. Can you do that?"

"Well, we'll give it a try," Xion said nervously, and Roxas nodded.

"Wonderful! Step up to the microphones here, you're going to sing into them so we can all hear you. All right, here we go!"

Roxas and Xion listened hard to the first verse, trying to memorize the tune as their eyes scanned the lyrics on the screen, and the audience roared out the song along with the people on stage. Then it was their turn. Xion began bravely, and Roxas joined in a few seconds late.

The crowd quieted in surprise, and even the other singers faltered. The two young Nobodies reached the end of the verse, then looked around uncomfortably, wondering if it was supposed to be like this. Roxas got an uneasy feeling when he saw Axel staring at them with the same surprised expression as everyone else.

The hostess was the first to recover. "Oh my, oh my, oh _my_! That was _lovely_!" The audience had broken into enthusiastic cheers. "Come on, now, Mouseketeers, let's end this show with a bang!"

The rest of the song went more like the young Nobodies had expected: the costumed people sang a verse, the Keybearers repeated it, and the crowd never stopped cheering and following along this time. Then the song came to a close, and everyone went wild with encouraging shouts and applause.

The hostess grabbed the kids' hands, her eyes shining. "Oh, that was _wonderful_! Kairi, Ventus, you both have _terrific_ voices, my loves. Would you like to work for us?"

"Huh?"

In the audience, Axel flung himself under the bench so that hopefully no one would notice as he dark corridored to a spot behind the curtain. He strode out on stage, detaching Roxas and Xion from the lady's delighted grasp and shoving them behind him protectively. "They're minors, they can't sign any contracts."

"Oh! Of course, of course. Are you their guardian, then?"

"I'm their...stepbrother. I'm baby-sitting today."

"I see! Well, here's my card, please have their legal guardians call me so that we can come to an agreement!"

"Their mom'll be so proud," Axel growled, cramming the business card into his pocket without looking at it.

The hostess turned to the crowd and called out enthusiastically, "Let's have a last big round of applause for Kairi and Ventus, they did an absolutely SUPER job!"

The audience members who were not already getting up to leave all cheered gustily. Axel shook his head. "Man, you two...don't let Demyx know you can sing like that, or he'll never leave you alone."

By then, it was quite late, and the trio only had about thirty minutes left to accomplish their actual reason for coming to Disney Town. After retrieving their stuff, they hurried to the nearest gift shop, where a movie was playing on the screen that hung from one of the walls. "Hey," Roxas observed, "those laser sword things kind of look like Xemnas's weapons."

"It must be Star Wars Saturday," Axel realized. "Those are lightsabers, Roxas."

Xion found toy 'lightsabers,' which did not look anything like the ones in the movie. "You think Xemnas will like them?" Roxas asked doubtfully.

"Roxas, the only thing you can give Mr. Superior that will make him happy is someone's raging, grief-filled heart, and you already get plenty of those for him on missions. Christmas Lesson #78: It's the thought that counts."

Roxas also got a watch for Luxord that had a picture of Mickey Mouse on the face, with Mickey's arms ticking around to indicate the correct time. At the last minute, he caught sight of a 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle that Lexaeus might like, since it was a picture of Mickey and Minnie picnicking by the Easter Island moai.

The Nobodies got kicked out pretty much as soon as Roxas's receipt popped out of the printer. "Thank you, come again!" They were ushered out by smiling employees, who locked the doors and pulled down the security gate as soon as they crossed the threshold.

Roxas yawned. "I think I'm ready to go home."

"Me, too," Xion sighed, covering a yawn of her own. "Axel, what time is it?"

"The park closes at 11:00." All the other visitors seemed to be heading in a slow but steady stream toward the front gates. The trio were heading for a shadowy alley where they could RTC without being noticed, but a sudden whistling sound and a splash of colorful light got their attention before they reached it.

Xion turned around and gasped. "Oh, look!"

"Fireworks," Axel explained before they could ask. He watched the rainbow explosions lightning up the night sky, a wistful smile on his face. "They're like decorative explosives."

"Woooowwww..."

They stood there, enjoying the sight of Disney Town's final farewell. Then the lights stopped, the sky was filled with smoke, the tourists all resumed their trek to the front gates, and it was time to go home.

Roxas arrived directly in his room, needing to drop off his Christmas shopping and the bag of stockings Axel had handed him. He found Marluxia's flower whipping around in a tantrum, crying the same word over and over. "Tired, tired, tired, tired, tired, tired, tired, tired..."

"Oops." Roxas hurried over to the sun lamp and switched it off. The flower immediately flopped over and began to snore. "Sorry..."

In Axel's room, Xion carefully peeled the sticker off her face and stuck it on a fresh page of her diary. She jotted down an entry on her wonderful trip to Disney Town, then headed for the bathroom. She was surprised to find Larxene still there, fast asleep in one of the tubs. "Larxene?"

The petite blonde did not move.

"Hm..." Figuring that it would be best to leave the Savage Nymph undisturbed, Xion stepped into her 'designated' shower. She was tired, so she kept it short, though the water and the scent of her shampoo revived her somewhat.

When she came out, Larxene was awake, wrapped in a fluffy yellow robe and sitting on one of the cushioned stools, inspecting her wrinkled fingers distastefully. "I can't _believe_ I fell asleep in the bath...ugh!" She stretched her arms over her head, looking cranky. "Work _sucked_ today! I'm sleeping in tomorrow, Saïx can go fall off a cliff. Oi, what time is it?"

Xion realized that she was being addressed. "Oh! Um, almost 11:30."

"Crap..." Larxene leaned over and rubbed her face.

"Um...Larxene? Can I - ask you something?"

"I told you," Larxene growled, "I'm not your mother, all your girly questions go to Vexen."

"Oh - no, it's not that, it just ended a couple of days ago and everything was fine. I was just...wondering about Edward."

Larxene's poison-green eyes snapped to hers.

"I wanted to ask if you can tell me why he seems to hate Bella so much," Xion said unhappily. "I fell asleep last night while they were at the Italian restaurant, and now I can't find my book...I think Axel might have burned it. I thought they were supposed to be in love, but all Edward does is act like she's disgusting."

Larxene regarded her silently, for such a long time that Xion wondered if she was experiencing her final moments and would never see Roxas and Axel again.

o.o.o.o.o

Meanwhile, Axel, after switching out the Mickey Mouse monstrosity for his non-family-friendly tank top, had stopped by to pick up some mission report forms, and paused for a moment in surprise. At this time of night, everyone had usually retired to his room. Saïx was the only one still in the Grey Area, except for a bunch of mischievous Dusks who were drawing on his face with a black marker. This was only possible because Saïx was fast asleep, slumped on one of the couches and breathing peacefully.

"Oi, shoo." Axel ignited the slower ones until they had all slithered away into the walls. Then he chuckled, braced one knee on the couch, and started wiping away the scribbles with an extra napkin left over from the Disney Town snacks.

Saïx frowned in his sleep and stirred, cracking his eyes open. He jumped a little when he found Axel so close, and automatically pushed his old friend's hand away. "What are you doing?"

"Restoring your smokin' good looks."

Saïx touched his own face, and his eyes widened in realization. "The Dusks got me."

"Yeah. What are you still doing here, anyway?"

"I need your reports," Saïx said gruffly.

"Aw, you weren't _waiting up for us_, were ya, boss?"

"Of course not." Saïx reached for the napkin, but Axel held it out of his reach, grinning. With a haughty glare, the berserker scrubbed at his face, accomplishing little more than smearing the greasy marks and making it worse.

Axel burst into laughter. "You look ridiculous, Sai."

"Give me the napkin."

"Nope. Unless you wanna fight me for it."

"As if I'd stoop to your level."

"Wanna go get one from the kitchen? Careful, though; Demyx has been known to go out for midnight snacks, or Xigbar might be prowling around, or who knows, maybe even Mr. Superior himself could be stalking the halls, you never know with him. Any of them would probably find your new makeup job enthralling."

Saïx was silent, and did not move when Axel reached over to finish cleaning his face.

"...Or you coulda corridored straight to your room."

Saïx turned a baleful glare on him, obviously fed up with his teasing. "How come you smell like a wet diaper?" he fired back.

"Urgh..." Axel opened up a corridor down to the laundry room and tossed his soiled coat into it, which landed right on one of the water clones. "Long story. Which has _nothing_ to do with me wetting my pants, just so you know."

Saïx shoved some mission report forms at him. "In my hands, first thing tomorrow morning."

"You're such a workaholic."

"It's better than being the castle nanny."

"Grr! Dog-lover!"

"Pyro."

"Suck-up!"

"Delinquent."

"Scarface!"

"Clown-" Saïx broke off. "I am _not_ doing this," he snapped, turning his back and stalking out of the room.

Axel laughed as he watched him go.

_To be continued..._

Author's Notes: **Guys, graffiti is not cool.** Just so you know. Bad Axel.

_Obviously_ Larxene wouldn't use her lightning powers while she's _bathing_!

I read somewhere that Disney partners with whoever to have Star Wars weekends? I'm not really sure, but it worked for the fic, so I used the idea.

I was about to write Axel as a hottie who attracted wolf whistles from passersby when he took his shirt off, but then I remembered an Org beach pic I saw recently, where shirtless Axel looks a bit anorexic. He's so skinny, I think that's actually an accurate representation. *sweatdrop* THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU LIVE OFF OF ICE CREAM, FLURRY.

To those of you who haven't read the manga - lol, the Dusks do draw on people's faces when they're sleeping, at least according to Amano Shiro. ^^; I thought it would be funny if they picked on someone besides Roxas, for a change.


	7. Six fluffy werewolves

**Christmas at the Castle, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic by Raberba girl**

**Chapter 7 - ...Six fluffy werewolves...**

**A/N: Otherwise known as The Chapter of Much Awkward.**

o.o.o

"Give me an Elixir."

Roxas groaned and pulled a pillow over his head. HP balls pelted him, not only annoying him with their thumps, but filling him with energy so that he would not be able to go back to sleep.

"I'm hungry. I want my Elixir."

Roxas sighed and climbed out of bed, turning on the sun lamp and rummaging around until he found an Elixir panel. For the first time, it began to dawn on him how expensive this thing's upkeep was going to be in the days remaining before Christmas. "You okay now?" he asked once the flower had been fed.

"Yes. You will stay here all day today."

"No, I've got work to do."

"_Stay here_," it demanded.

"I'm sorry, I have to go. But I _promise_ I won't get home late, I'll be back to turn your lamp off when you're tired."

"Stay! Stay! Stay! Stay!"

Roxas felt bad about ignoring it, but he was more scared of what Saïx might do to him if he tried to take vacation days from now until Christmas. "I'll be back this afternoon!" he called one last time, and fled.

o.o.o.o.o

Axel rolled out of bed, yawning and running a hand through his hair. "'Bout time for a re-gel..." He grabbed a clean outfit and stepped out into the Proof of Existence, heading for the bathroom.

Larxene was stepping out of her room at the same moment - no, not Larxene. Xion. Wait, _and_ Larxene? What the-?! Why was Xion in Larxene's room? Apparently all night, since, come to think of it, Axel never remembered Xion being in her bed; he had just assumed she was taking her time in the bath. Furthermore, why were Xion and Larxene _giggling together_?

"Oh! Good morning, Axel!" Xion said happily, waving as she caught sight of him. Her hair was uncombed and her eyes were bloodshot from lack of sleep, but she seemed to be in high spirits. Next to her, Larxene's happy smile vanished. She glared at Axel and shot him the finger (behind Xion's back, thankfully) before flouncing off somewhere.

_'Except for that last bit,'_ Axel thought, _'something is very, very wrong here.'_

o.o.o.o.o

_'Whose turn is it to go grocery shopping?'_ Roxas thought unhappily. There was almost nothing left in the cabinets or refrigerator. All that was left of the cereal was some dust at the bottom of the bag. No Pop-Tarts, no eggs, no bagels or muffins, just the heel left in the last bag of bread...

Nearby, Xaldin was combing the place for food as well, grunting in dissatisfaction. He finally cut up and boiled the last few withered carrots, threw them into the handful of rice that was left, and walked out with the meager result. Roxas took the heel of bread and smeared it with the last few globs of peanut butter that were clinging to the sides of the empty jar.

When Roxas came into the Grey Area, the sight of Demyx chilling on one of the couches reminded him of something. "Oh!" He corridored to his room, grabbed the Christmas Town bag, then went back and walked over to the Melodious Nocturne. "Hey, Demyx, here's the Christmas stockings."

"Hm? Oh! Hey, thanks, little buddy!" Demyx actually put down his sitar and dug eagerly through the bag. "Aaahhh! This is mine! I love it, I _love it_!"

Roxas had not actually looked at the stockings yet, so he got curious about them after seeing the chibi sleeping merman with an elegant Roman numeral IX embroidered at the top of Demyx's.

Demyx held up Vexen's stocking, laughing. "Love it, kiddo." The fourth stocking featured a picture of a maniacally cackling mad scientist. "Man, I was just gonna give you a Bronze, but this is good stuff." He handed over a better synthesis item, which Roxas pocketed happily. "Eeeee, CUTE!" Saïx's had a picture of an adorable blue puppy on it. With gold eyes. And a familiar-looking facial scar. It would probably not be a good idea to claim any responsibility whatsoever for providing the berserker with this particular design.

Everyone else in the room began coming over, attracted by the commotion and the realization of what it was about.

"Why does mine have the Apple logo?" Zexion said, inspecting his stocking with a frown. "I don't even use a Mac."

Roxas shrugged. "I don't know. Axel came up with most of the designs."

"Heh heh, that guy," Xigbar laughed, admiring his with its chibi eyepatched pirate face.

Vexen had caught sight of his by this time. "What?! Why does mine look so ridiculous? Is that a _mad scientist_? I find that highly insulting! I demand an exchange!"

"We bought them in Christmas Town," Roxas said. "If you don't like yours, I guess you can go back there and get a different one."

"You stupid boy, we run a covert operation here! I can't just parade about in public!"

"You can if you wear a Christmas costume. The elves all think we live in a little cottage in the forest."

"Gah! I refuse to degrade myself by donning such silly garments!"

"Then just put up with a Santa hat," Zexion snapped. "_Everyone_ wears silly clothes there. You stand out more when you _don't_ look ridiculous."

Leaving everyone to delight in or complain about their stockings, Roxas went over to Saïx, who was conversing with Number XI. The berserker turned and said, "You and Marluxia are on shopping duty today, so I have arranged for you to work together on your mission as well, for the sake of convenience." He handed over copies of the mission brief and the grocery list. "Depart as soon as you are ready."

"Okay." Roxas looked up at the scythe master, who smiled down at him rather calculatingly. "Um, well, my panel arrangement is fine, so I'm ready whenever you are."

"I, too, have finished my preparations. Let us be off."

They went to a new world for recon, emerging in a luscious green meadow full of wildflowers. A sparkling stream meandered through it, past a quaint, rather lopsided tower in the middle. "That would be 'Rapunzel's Tower,' I suppose," Marluxia mused, referencing the name of the world.

"It's really pretty here," Roxas said, thinking about how much Xion would like it.

"What conclusions do you draw from that observation, Thirteen?"

"Huh? Oh! No, that wasn't really a clue, I was just...you know. Admiring it."

"Hmph. We have no time to waste on sightseeing."

"Sorry."

They wandered around, occasionally remarking on any distinctive characteristics they noticed. Roxas found a place where the hanging vines hid a small cave-like entrance, which opened out into a much larger forest. Marluxia identified the tower as a classic example of 18th century Rococo architecture in the style of Francesco de Lange, and also told Roxas the names of every single flower in the meadow.

Finally, they dark corridored up inside the tower itself - since there was no other way to get in. The tower _had no door_. That was obviously a big clue about...something, but Roxas could not figure out its significance, so he just filed it away with the other, less remarkable clues.

They found themselves in a large round room that was open in the middle, though it had a whole lot of stuff arranged around the perimeter: newspapers; ballet shoes; cleaning supplies; a chess board; puppets; whole boxes full of brushes, combs, hair products, and hair ornaments; and lots and lots of paints and paintbrushes - just to name a few.

"Man," Roxas murmured, "if this stuff really is detangler, then there's more of it in here than in our bathroom cupboards at the castle. No gel, though."

"They might have not invented it yet in this world."

"I guess a lot of hair otaku live here, just like at home."

"Or else just one person with a great deal of hair to manage."

Roxas laughed. "That'd have to be a _lot_ of hair." He put the box of detangler bottles back. "He - or she - must really like to paint, too. I mean, there's a ton of stuff, but it's the hair stuff and the paint that really stand out."

Just then, a girl's singing voice wafted out from an upstairs room. _"And then I'll read a book, or maybe two or three..."_ The words trailed off, but she kept humming. Roxas and Marluxia looked at each other and nodded, silently agreeing to be more quiet now that they knew the tower was occupied.

Roxas kept looking around, pushing back a curtain to find a large picture that had been painted on the wall, of a girl with a _river_ of golden hair, watching a stream of glowing lights in the night sky. _'She has so much hair...hm. The person who lives here obviously has a lot of hair to take care of, too. If she also likes to paint, then...maybe this is a self-portrait?'_

New breakthrough!

Just then, a woman's voice called from outside the tower. "Rapunzel! Let down your hair!"

"Coming, Mother!" the girl called from upstairs.

Marluxia threw himself behind a curtain. Roxas ran to a wardrobe standing against the wall and yanked its doors open - then nearly screamed like a little girl as a dead body flopped straight at him, knocking him to the floor.

"Rapunzel! I'm _waiting_!"

"Just a moment, Mother, I'll be right there!"

There was no time to freak out. Roxas struggled free of the corpse, slammed the wardrobe doors shut again, then seized the dead guy under the armpits and dragged him into a dark corridor.

Just in time. Roxas huddled inside the dark wardrobe with his new creepy friend, holding his hands over his mouth to muffle his panicked breathing, and listening to the girl's footsteps as she came down the stairs. There was an odd rustling sound, too, as if she was dragging something heavy.

"I'm sorry, Mother!"

"Well, it's _about time_, dear. What were you taking your sweet time doing, trying to bleach out all those hideous freckles of yours or something?"

"Um..."

"Oh-ho-ho, look at your _face_! Of course I'm just teasing you, darling, you're a lovely girl. You'll never be as gorgeous as your mama, of course, but, hah! As if there's anyone you need to impress."

"Um...thanks?"

To Roxas's profound relief, he realized that his wardrobe buddy was not dead after all, just unconscious. The man's breathing was tickling his neck, but there was no room for Roxas to get away from him.

"Mother, there's something I wanted to show you. See, in my wardrobe I've got-"

Roxas hastily dark corridored over next to Marluxia, who promptly clapped a hand over his mouth. _'Hey, if I managed to keep quiet when I thought a DEAD GUY was attacking me, I'm not gonna be dumb enough to give you away!'_ Roxas thought, but Marluxia was strong and wielded a giant scythe, and a tussle might attract attention, so he did not resist.

"You are NOT LEAVING THIS TOWER, Rapunzel!" the old lady was yelling. "_Ever_!"

_'I missed it,'_ Roxas thought. _'What did that Rapunzel girl say that made Mother so mad at her?'_

They listened for a while longer, as the cowed Rapunzel asked for a birthday present of sea shells instead, and her mother reluctantly agreed to undertake the journey to fetch them. Roxas tugged carefully at Marluxia's glove until the older Nobody finally leaned down to hiss, "Don't make a sound" in his ear before releasing him.

_'I wonder why Rapunzel can't go herself,'_ Roxas thought. _'Is it because the present is supposed to be a surprise? But no, she told that Mother lady what she wanted. Maybe these birthday present things are different from Christmas presents.'_

He listened to the sounds on the other side of the curtain, realizing that Mother was climbing down somehow. _'That's how she got up, too - through the window. She - she can't have been climbing up Rapunzel's _hair_, could she?!'_

He remembered how he could not find the tower's entrance. _'The window must be the only way in or out, not counting corridors of darkness. And if Mother climbs up and down Rapunzel's hair, that would mean Rapunzel can't do it herself. She...she must be trapped in here. I feel kind of...sorry for her. Weird, since I don't have a heart.'_ He paused. _'Wait, how'd Rapunzel get here in the first place, then? Man, that must have been a tall ladder...'_

There was a lot of banging, thumping, and rustling. Then Roxas yelped a little in surprise at the sound of a man's startled yell, which luckily covered up his slip - apparently, Rapunzel was not alone in her tower. _'Oh yeah, the not-dead guy. I guess he woke up?'_

As Rapunzel and Mr. Wardrobe started yelling at each other, Roxas, knowing that they probably would be too preoccupied to notice the rustling curtain, tugged at Marluxia's sleeve. "Mother climbed up on Rapunzel's hair, didn't she?"

"What?"

"Mother. That old lady. Does this count as a new breakthrough?"

"I _told_ you not to make a sound."

"It's not like they're going to notice us..."

From the other side of the curtain, the argument continued. "The only thing I want with your hair is to get out of it - _literally_!"

Apparently, Rapunzel was finally convinced that the guy meant her no harm, and their conversation got a little calmer. By the time they _finally_ left (_'Huh...I guess Rapunzel can climb down her own hair after all...maybe it's that Mother who was keeping her trapped here.'_ New breakthrough!), Roxas was stifling. He burst out from behind the curtain, sucking in lungfuls of air. Marluxia came out of hiding as well, fussing with his own tousled hair and glancing around the tower one last time. "So, Roxas, what have we learned?"

Roxas sighed and began speaking like a schoolboy reciting his lessons. "A girl named Rapunzel lives here. She has really long hair, she likes to paint, and she wants to see a bunch of floating lights. She's outranked by someone named Mother who won't let her leave this tower, which doesn't have a door. That Flynn guy has something important in his satchel, but Rapunzel hid it and she'll only give it back if he takes her to see the lights." He arched an eyebrow. _'Good enough?'_

Marluxia nodded. "That would be the gist of it, yes. Come, Roxas. I think we've done enough for today."

At the grocery store a few worlds away, Roxas pulled out the shopping list and read through it. "Milk, eggs, apples, bananas, ramen, paper towels, sandwich bags, dental floss, carrots, refried beans, rice..." He frowned. "What are [Mountain Breeze Quiet Package Extra-Large Collapsible Easy Application Pearl-tip]* tampons?"

Marluxia grinned. "Please make sure to ask Axel that in public, while Larxene is present. I'll buy them, though...you'd probably be dim-witted enough to bring home even more XIV-sized ones, and then Larxene would destroy you and we'd only be left with one Keyblade wielder."

"Huh?"

"I'll also get the produce. You go look for all these ridiculous snacks."

"Where should we meet?"

"By the pharmacy."

Roxas grabbed a cart and went around tossing cereal and crackers and ramen into it, plus some packages of cookies because they looked yummy. He saved the super-sized box of ice cream bars for last, since he wanted them to melt as little as possible by the time he could get them into the freezer at home.

He and Marluxia met up, grabbed the last few items they both had missed, then went to go pay for them.

"Having a party?" the chatty clerk asked as he scanned the box of treats.

"No. My, er, family just likes ice cream," Roxas said. (He was not entirely sure what a 'family' was, but he had heard the others use the term once or twice. It seemed like a good blending-in thing to say.)

"Wow, you must have a big family!"

"Yeah."

"Let me guess, that pink-haired guy in the next line over must be your dad, right? I can tell because of the matching coats!"

"Um...he's my- stepbrother," Roxas mumbled, remembering what Axel had told the lady in Disney Town. "I'm baby-sitting today." The clerk laughed so loudly that several people looked over at him in surprise, including Marluxia. The Graceful Assassin glared warningly at Roxas.

"Thanks so much," the boy said hurriedly, dumping a pile of munny on the counter. "Here, I'll help you bag everything."

As they were pushing their carts out of the store, Roxas asked, "What's baby-sitting?"

"Hm? It's when somebody looks after a child when the child's regular guardians have business to take care of."

"...Oh." Why had Axel said that, then? Roxas didn't need to be looked after!

"What brought that up?"

"Huh? Oh, well, that clerk asked about you, so I said you were my stepbrother and I was baby-sitting."

Marluxia raised an eyebrow.

"...I guess I got that wrong. Oh, and what's a family?"

"I'm not Axel. This is your last answer."

"Okay..."

"A family, loosely defined, is a group of people who are very close-knit and want to look out for each other's well-being."

"Oh. I think I got that one wrong, too."

"On the contrary, it's a good cover story when you're out among humans."

"But...it's not true, right?"

"Of course not. To have a family, you must be capable of love, and we're a bit lacking in that area, aren't we?"

Neither of them trusted Dusks for the task, so Roxas summoned a bunch of Samurai to carry the groceries home. When they arrived in the kitchen, the rest of the Organization came flocking in like hungry ravens.

Demyx immediately pounced on the goldfish crackers; Xaldin began washing vegetables as Luxord got out a cutting board; Saïx peeled and bit into a banana, his expression almost blissful; Axel and Xigbar fought over who would get to use the oven first, since there was not enough room for both of the frozen pizzas and all the taquitos; Lexaeus plugged in the rice cooker; Vexen, Larxene, and Marluxia all jostled each other trying to use the stove at the same time; and Zexion seized what little counter space there was left to put together a sandwich.

Xion came over to help Roxas put away whatever food had managed to escape the ravages of the starving horde. As she pulled a certain box out of the last shopping bag, Roxas remembered something. "Axel," he called, "can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, what is it?" Axel grumbled, clearly unhappy that both his pizzas were now covered with taquito filling.

"What are tampons?"

Everyone turned around and stared at him. Marluxia looked like Christmas had come early, but everyone else's expressions gave Roxas the feeling that he had just done something really stupid.

"For the love of Kingdom Hearts, Roxas, don't do this to me," Axel groaned.

Roxas suddenly noticed that Xion was blushing. "Xion, _you_ know what tampons are?" he said in surprise.

"Not when Larxene's around!" Xion yelped, and ran to hide behind Axel. She and Larxene might now have a common interest, but she knew without a doubt that their new friendship was nowhere near strong enough to sustain this kind of damage.

Some of the others were now laughing, and many were looking eagerly at the Flurry of Dancing Flames.

"Well, Axel?" Xigbar said mischievously, clapping Number VIII on the back, "You gonna answer the little guy's question?"

Larxene came over and gripped Axel's hood tightly, almost strangling him. Knives materialized in her other fist.

"They're...ammunition," Axel choked out. "For toy guns.* Kids run around and shoot each other with them for fun."

Some of the others burst into laughter. "I gotta get me one of those," Xigbar said gleefully. "Try some tampon target practice on Xem."

Roxas frowned at Axel. "Really? Why's everyone acting so weird, then?"

Xion leaned around Axel and said nervously, "It's true, Roxas. It's just that...they're, um, toys, so...no one really expected you to bring it up."

"...Okay," Roxas said doubtfully. That still did not make sense.

Larxene released Axel, kissed Xion on the temple (which had to be the _scariest_ thing Roxas had ever seen her do), tossed the tampon box into a corridor of darkness, then flounced back to the stove. Everyone else was talking about seemingly random stuff and laughing frequently at jokes he didn't understand. For some reason, Axel kept yelling things like, "Not in front of the kids!" or "They're not _that_ stupid, they know what you're talking about!", and Larxene kept making threats along the lines of, "If you say anything about 'vampire tea bags' ONE MORE TIME, I _will_ castrate you."

Roxas was a very confused and frustrated boy when he finally returned to his room.

"You came back!"

"Hi, Marluxia's flower," Roxas said tiredly. "I told you I would."

"I'm sleepy!"

Roxas turned the sun lamp off.

"Good night," the flower said.

"Good night."

It closed its petals and went to sleep. Roxas flung himself across his bed and thought idly that he would like some ice cream right about now.

Meanwhile, Axel went to pay Zexion a visit.

"Number VIII," the young Nobody greeted. He was sitting in an easy chair, holding a book with the word LOVELESS on the cover. "It's not often I get a personal visit from you."

"I need to borrow your computer," Axel said shortly. "And a dictionary."

"Hm...decided not to leave Number XIII in the dark, did you?"

"Can you imagine the trouble a kid like him can get into, thinking _those_ things are what I said they are? I can imagine it. I can imagine it a lot. It's not pretty."

Zexion put the book down and went over to wake up his laptop. "The Wikipedia article will do, I suppose."

"Sure, whatever. Just make sure there's no photos that'll blow the kid's brain."

After having obtained the necessary materials, Axel went over to Roxas's room, dodged out of a Samurai's range before it could duel him for a glomp, and dropped the computer printout and the dictionary on Roxas's bed. The boy looked up at him in surprise. "What are these for?"

"Educate yourself," Axel snapped. "Because this subject will be forever taboo between us. No awkward questions on the clock tower tomorrow, got it?" He walked out again.

Frowning, Roxas pulled the printout closer and started to read.

Axel went to his room and nearly bumped into Xion coming out, already in her nightwear. "Whoops, sorry."

"It's okay. Are you going to bed, Axel?"

"Yeah, I think I'll turn in early."

"All right, then. Good night, Axel."

"Night, Xi." Axel went in, took off his coat and boots, crawled into bed, and failed to notice that Xion never came back.

She was, in fact, spending the night in Larxene's room. The Nymph met her with a grin as she came inside. "You ready?"

"Yup. I brought snacks," Xion said proudly, pulling a bag of cookies and a package of popcorn out of her pocket.

"Excellent." Larxene touched the bag, causing most of the kernels inside to explode. Then the girls went to settle on the bed, Xion in her usual purple shirt and black shorts, Larxene in a sunshine-yellow tank top and briefs.

"Now, the movies suck," Larxene warned as she picked up the remote control, "but somehow, they're fun to watch anyway."

"That's fine, as long as we don't stay up too late again," Xion said. "It's kind of hard to get through missions when I'm tired."

"Tell me about it," Larxene groaned in commiseration.

As the movie started, Xion cuddled closer to Larxene and reached for some more popcorn, wondering if this was what it was like to have a sister.

Meanwhile, Roxas had finished reading. He thanked his Somebody (multiple times) that he was a boy, and had a hard time getting to sleep that night.

_To be continued..._

Author's Notes: **Marluxia's Rococo blathering** was cobbled together from Wikipedia. XD **It's not actually true.** Also, KH remakes of Disney movies don't go _exactly_ according to the original, so I didn't worry about synchronizing everything about the _Tangled_ scene exactly right.

***Larxene's tampons are a reference to some fancomics by BlackLillian. If you're reading this on FFN, go to DeviantArt and type in "Even Villains Need Groceries" and then "The Untold Story." XD If you're reading this on MMO or DA, here are the specific comics I referenced: **** art/Even-Villains-Need-Groceries-2-37605173**** and **** art/The-Untold-Story-Part-Two-39536602**

The stocking designs that never made it into the fic:

Xemnas - Heart-shaped happy face XD

Xaldin - A mini-tornado, I guess.

Lexaeus - His squeaky hammer :p

Axel - Bomb monster

Luxord - Christmas-themed playing cards

Marluxia - A pink flower with a face

I originally had Zexion at the stove and Vexen making the sandwich, since I figured Vexen wouldn't like hot food because of his ice element, but then...I remembered his pot lid. And that the sandwich actually belongs to Zexion. XD Worked out perfectly. If you don't know what I'm talking about, you haven't played Days enough. :p

I couldn't decide whether Axel would actually have The Talk with Roxas or wimp out. I finally decided that it could go either way depending on the circumstances, and for this fic, I preferred the latter.

...Marly & Larxene talk. Sometimes. About stuff. That Larxene wouldn't tell anyone else. Such as that her latest pet peeve is hunting through the bathroom cabinets for "lady necessities" and only finding ones in Xion's size. I didn't mean to make Marly sound pervy...

This chapter was originally posted, by pure coincidence, on the eleventh day of the eleventh month of the year 2011. So, so perfect. :D


	8. FIVE  BALLS  OF  FIRE!

**Christmas at the Castle, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic by Raberba girl**

**Chapter 8 - ...FIVE - BALLS - OF - FIRE!**

Roxas twirled his ice cream stick and sighed. "I just need to find presents for you guys and Saïx now, but I have _no idea_ what to get him. Axel, you know him better than me, what do you think I should give him?"

"I don't know, man...the guy deserves a box of coal for working us so hard this year," Axel grumbled.

"I heard that you two grew up together," Xion said. "Did you ever get him a Christmas present in the past?"

Axel frowned. "Someone's been telling you too much."

"What kinds of things did he used to like back then?" Roxas asked curiously.

"Ah, it doesn't matter, he's a different person now." Axel's discontent expression suddenly turned into a grin. "...He's a werewolf, you know. He turns into a big ugly dog every full moon. You should get him a chew toy or something."

Xion gasped. "Saïx is a _werewolf_?!"

"Yeah, we've all known it for years."

"Oh my gosh!" Xion's hands were over her mouth, her eyes huge. "I can't believe it!"

Axel looked at her more closely. "Xion...you _do_ realize I'm kidding, right?"

She stared at him. "What?"

"Saïx is not a freaking werewolf. It was a joke."

"...Oh."

o.o.o.o.o

After dinner, Roxas screwed up his courage, went to stand in front of Saïx's room, drew in a deep breath, then knocked on the portal.

A Berserker came out. It looked at him for a minute with its non-face. Just when Roxas lost his nerve and decided to make a run for it, the Berserker lifted its dangling arm and seized him around the neck, the heavy claymore dragging them both inside.

Saïx was working at his desk, the lamp throwing his facial scar into sharp relief. As his servant and its prisoner entered, he put down the pen, swiveled around in his seat, and studied the boy for a long, disapproving moment. "What do you want?"

"Can you call him off?" Roxas asked, finding it hard to breathe as he gestured at the Nobody who had him in a chokehold.

Saïx nodded, probably issuing a silent command, and the Berserker stumbled off. Roxas got to his feet, rubbing at his sore throat.

"Is there a particular reason you are disturbing me at this hour?"

"Well...yeah. I...wanted to ask...if..."

Saïx raised an eyebrow.

Roxas took in another deep breath. "What's your homeworld?" he blurted out.

"Pardon?"

"You...you and Axel are from the same world, right? I wanted to know where it is..."

"That is no business of yours, and if Axel did not tell you, I see no reason why I should."

Roxas sighed. "Never mind. I'm gonna go to bed. So that I'm all rested up for tomorrow's super-fun mission," he could not help adding, a little resentfully. "I'll probably just give Axel a Bronze or something for Christmas..." He turned around and walked out.

Saïx watched him go, then simply sat frowning at his desktop for a long time.

o.o.o.o.o

The next morning ("Give me an Elixir"), Roxas went to the Grey Area and was very surprised upon receiving his assignment.

"I will be your partner today. Stay out of the way until I've gotten everyone else packed off."

Roxas sat on one of the couches and fiddled with his deck. _'There's never enough Slot Releasers,'_ he thought ruefully.

Xion arrived and came over to join him. "Good morning, Roxas."

"Hi, Xion."

"Are you working solo today?"

"No. I'm paired with, um, Saïx."

Xion's eyes widened. "You're working with _Saïx_?"

Roxas sighed. "Yeah."

She put her arm around his shoulders. "I'm sure it will be okay."

"Yeah."

"He can't be _that_ bad, if Axel used to be friends with him."

"Yeah."

"I'll buy you an extra ice cream when you get back, okay?"

"Okay."

Xion squeezed him in a comforting hug, then got up to get her mission assignment, wishing she could do more to cheer him up.

When everyone else had departed, Saïx sighed, put his clipboard into his backpack, and opened a dark corridor. "Let's go."

"Okay."

They arrived at a world Roxas had never seen before, though he had an odd sense of déjà vu as he looked around. Maybe the boy in red had been here. "What's this world called?" Roxas asked.

"Ra- That is, they call it Hollow Bastion now." Saïx started walking.

"You never gave me a mission brief. Are we doing heart collection, or looking for a specific Heartless, or what?"

"All my jobs are recon."

"...Oh." _'Jerk.'_

Saïx frowned as if he could read Roxas's mind. "It's not quite the usual recon. My role in the Organization is to monitor Heartless activity in all the known worlds, and arrange missions for the other members based on their suitability to handle the workload. It is more difficult than it sounds."

_'Yeah. Sure.'_

"Since I have a Keyblade wielder today, I expect you to collect hearts as we go, but there is no specific goal to aim for. Follow my lead, and don't fall behind."

They trekked through what seemed to be an entire mountain range, taking out any small Heartless who dared show their faces. As for the bigger ones...

"Roxas! What are you doing? Get out of there!" Saïx grabbed Roxas's arm and corridored him over to the next valley, just as a Clay Armor nearly squashed him.

"Huh? But that was a Heartless! I have to exterminate it."

"I _told_ you to follow my lead. You are not to battle any tough Heartless today, it will take too long to defeat them. We have far too much ground left to cover, and we're running out of time." Saïx took out his clipboard and scribbled something on it. "Clay Armor in Hollow Bastion," he muttered to himself, "send XIV after it tomorrow..."

"What do you mean, we're running out of time? It's not even noon yet."

Saïx briefly closed his eyes, which seemed to be the Saïx-equivalent of rolling them. "The earliest anyone has ever returned from a mission is 2:30 p.m. I have to be back by then, but before that, we've got to finish combing the mountain path, I.D. any noteworthy Heartless, record the locations of every single blasted treasure chest, plant badges, set up barricades, capture a specimen of any new Heartless breed so that Vexen can run an analysis on it, coordinate a suitable return corridor location, and investigate the town without anyone seeing us. _All by 2:30_. That's not even counting the tasks that can be done at home, such as deciding on suitable mission rewards, processing mission reports for the entire Organization, and determining an appropriate workload for a reasonable mission, as well as who should be offered the assignment and whether or not they should be allowed a partner. Some days, I don't even get a chance to eat." He suddenly blinked and stopped speaking.

"Oh." Roxas fidgeted uncomfortably. "I guess it _is_ harder than it sounds. I didn't realize how much work went into organizing mission stuff."

"Hmph."

The work seemed to get harder from then on, so that Roxas was exhausted by lunch time. He was grateful to be allowed to sit down on a crumbling set of steps that led to a pile of rubble, shaded by a small tree that had grown out of a blackened stump, and eat the sandwiches he had packed.

They did not speak for a while. Roxas looked out at the silent, devastated neighborhood, a debris-riddled street lined with shattered and half-overgrown dwellings. Saïx sat nearby, nibbling absently on his own sandwich as he worked on a complicated-looking diagram, occasionally scratching things out and making frustrated sounds.

"This place feels...sad," Roxas mused, not really expecting his companion to answer him. "I wonder who used to live here."

"Axel did."

"Huh?" Roxas looked at him, startled.

Saïx glanced up briefly. "This used to be Axel's house, back when he was a teenager. You're sitting on the porch steps." He pointed with his pen. "Mine was across the street, three houses down."

"_Whaaaat_?!"

Saïx went back to his clipboard, seeming to have lost interest, but Roxas was fascinated. He got up and began combing through the debris of the house behind them. Amidst the rubble were some easily identifiable items: a spoon, a broken mug handle, a doll's arm, a ruined video game cartridge, half a book with singed pages, an earring, a bike helmet, a tube of gooey lip gloss... Roxas picked up a Frisbee, dirty and cracked along the edge, but with a picture of a Bomb monster still discernible on the front. "This kind of looks like one of Axel's chakrams," he called to Saïx.

"I don't really care," was the preoccupied response.

Roxas shifted, and heard a high-pitched crunch. Looking down, he found that he had accidentally stepped on and crushed a picture frame. The photo caught his attention - he picked it up carefully, shaking it free of glass dust, and examined its subjects. There was a tall, dark-skinned man. A woman with blonde hair and a smile just like Axel's. Two little girls. And...a spiky-haired boy, about Roxas's age, smiling into the camera with bright, innocent green eyes that showed not a trace of the world-weariness they now carried in the present day. "Axel," Roxas whispered.

"Roxas, we need to get going," Saïx called.

"I'll be right there." Roxas carefully slipped the Frisbee and the photograph into his backpack, then followed the older Nobody as they resumed work.

They did not, in fact, get to finish everything. At 2:28, Saïx opened a corridor of darkness back to the castle, grumbling that Roxas had slowed him down and he would have to put in overtime that night to catch up. Back in the Grey Area, he took up his usual post at the head of the room and waited for everyone to check in.

Roxas, after being informed that he _obviously_ did not have to fill out a mission report this time, hid Axel's presents in his room and then opened a dark corridor. He felt bad about skipping ice cream with Axel and Xion, but if he hung out with them, he would not have enough time to finish his Christmas shopping before it got dark.

He had meant to go to Neverland, but the beach he ended up on was unfamiliar. At least...he _knew_ he had never been here before, but the déjà vu was stronger than ever. _'White sands...a blue sky...the shining sea...I know this place. Somehow, I know this place. It feels like Home.'_

He wandered around for a while, soon realizing that this world had seashells that were just as good as, perhaps even better than, the ones in Neverland. He trekked along the shore, picking up all the pretty shells he saw and dropping them into a small pocket of his backpack. The terrain was far from ideal for his shoes, and the sun beat down on his black-clad shoulders, so that he was soon soaked with sweat. _'Just a few more...'_ His gloves were soggy and covered with wet sand, his coat flecked with it. _'Man, I'm a mess.'_

He reached a wooden bridge that had some trees growing nearby. Clusters of yellow fruit were visible, high in the branches. Roxas was parched, and he knew from one of Axel's lectures in Neverland that seawater was not fit to drink. He ended up climbing one of the trees (a much easier task after he had ditched his shoes and gloves), having the strangest feeling that he had done this many times before. He grasped one of the star-shaped fruits, got back to the ground, and bit into it. "Ohhh..."

It was delicious. _'This is so good. I...want to eat this with...someone.'_ By the time he finished it, he had decided that he would come back later and pick some fresh ones for Xion and Axel. _'But...there's someone else I _really_ want to give one to...who is it?'_

Before leaving, he got up as high as he could and Glided around the beach, wanting to familiarize himself with this place in case he was ever sent here on a mission. In the distance, he spotted more land, much bigger than the deserted little island he had been collecting shells on. The land in the distance seemed to be populated - there were buildings and streets, and he could almost make out the figures of people moving about.

Roxas Glided towards the mainland. He had to swim the last part of it, since the distance was a bit much for the wind to carry him the whole way. There were people lounging and playing on the beach who looked at him as he came slogging out of the waves. His coat was sopping wet, so he took it off and slung it over one arm to carry. His pants and tank top were soaked, too, but at least they would dry faster without the coat over them, and he would not have to put up with heavy waterlogged fabric slapping around his legs at every step.

A nice lady offered him a towel, and he gratefully dried his hair and arms. "Thank you. Um...do you know where I can find a chew toy? Like, for dogs?"

"Why, certainly, sweetie. The pet shop's on Seagull Street over there, that blue building between the library and the ice cream shop."

"Okay. Thanks." Roxas handed back the towel, hefted his seashell-laden backpack over his shoulders, and marched off eagerly to purchase his very last Christmas present.

o.o.o.o.o

Some time later, Roxas was heading for the clock tower when a dark corridor appeared in front of him, and Xigbar came through it. "Found you," the Freeshooter said in satisfaction. "I _knew_ you three always crept off to Twilight Town every day."

"Um...did you need something? Because I have to go meet Axel and Xion, so..."

Xigbar waved his hand dismissively. "Ah, you can live without ice cream for one day. Come on, we've got work to do."

"But-"

"No buts! Listen to your sempai!" Xigbar grabbed his arm and hauled him into the corridor.

They emerged in Twilight's View, where a very strange scene had been set up: two Dancers and a Sniper were sitting at a little table, two of them dressed in ragged clothes and the third in a threadbare dress and a yellow wig that was shaped almost exactly like Larxene's usual hairstyle. A tiny lopsided Christmas tree was set off to one side, while a pot full of something boiling was hanging over a little pile of burning kindling.

"Won't Saïx get mad at you for starting a fire in the castle?" Roxas asked, remembering the numerous times Axel had gotten in trouble for just such a thing.

"Ah, we'll clean it up before he notices," Xigbar said dismissively. He dug out a long-sleeved shirt, a pair of pants, a floppy hat, and a scarf, and shot holes in all of them. Then he pushed the ensemble toward Roxas. "Here, put these on."

"Why?"

"Because Xion's coming any minute now, and if you dawdle, she'll see you in your underwear."

Roxas ripped off his coat and scrambled into the holey outfit, feeling ridiculous. He had just swung the scarf around his neck when Xion and Demyx showed up via another corridor.

"I caught her!" Demyx announced triumphantly, raising the confused-looking Xion's arm and waving it around like a trophy.

"Excellent," Xigbar said happily. "Poppet, just hang out over there for now, we'll call you when we need you. Demyx, to your post!"

Demyx sat down at the little table and twiddled his thumbs expectantly.

"Now, Roxas," Xigbar instructed, handing him a stick and a piece of paper, "go to the top of the stairs. When I tell you to, hobble down the steps as if it's hard to walk, and make sure you lean on the crutch. Your lines are on the paper."

"What? Why do I have to pretend it's hard to walk?"

"Well," Xigbar mused, "I _could_ break your leg so that you won't have to go to the trouble of pretending..."

"No, no," Roxas said quickly, "I can hobble."

o.o.o.o.o

"Axel, who's God?"

Axel nearly choked on his ice cream.

"Because yesterday Xigbar made me ask God to bless everyone, so I wanted to make sure that wasn't a bad thing..."

"X-Xigbar did _what_?" Axel said weakly.

"You do know who God is, right?" Roxas asked apprehensively.

"Buddy, I am the wrong, WRONG person to be answering that...WTF, Xigbar!"

"What does W.T.F. stand for?" Xion asked.

Axel facepalmed. "Note to self, never adopt kids ever again," he muttered.

"What does 'adopt' mean?"

"Gah! You guys are doing this on purpose, aren't you!"

_To be continued..._

Author's Notes: Saïx's job? THAT'S WHAT TEACHING'S LIKE. Thankless, harder than it sounds, and the work never, ever, ever ends. On the up side, it was really wonderful when Saïx suddenly decided that he's comfortable enough with me to reveal that we have something like that in common. I can finally _relate_ to him! :D I love him now on his own terms, not just because of Isa or his relationship with Axel.

I realized that I've been writing this fic as if the dark corridors are like teleportation, but the manga and certain bits of canon have made me think that it's probably an actual _corridor_ they walk through, that it's not instantaneous. (...Sometimes. 'Cause other times it really does look like teleportation. o.O)

I'm pretty sure it was Kairi whom Roxas felt like sharing a paopu with, since he was flashbacking to Sora so much.

A "sempai" (or "senpai") is someone who's higher in rank than you, like a high school senior when you're a freshman, or someone at the company you work at whose position is higher than yours.


	9. Four blue sitars

**Christmas at the Castle, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic by Raberba girl**

**Chapter 9 - Four blue sitars...**

On Christmas Eve, just like every other day, the alarm clock began buzzing at exactly 5:00 a.m. He had not gone to bed until past midnight, so he was sorely tempted to hit snooze and then simply roll over and go back to sleep.

However, he was not a teenager anymore. There was so much work to be done, he could not afford to show weakness and lose Xemnas's trust in him. He had to be the best. Even if he was alone now, that promise from so long ago was still worth fighting for.

It was just really hard to remember that sometimes.

A warm, rough tongue ran over his chin. Saïx looked down at the Chihuahua curled up by his neck, who wagged her tail happily when their eyes met. "Good morning, Chi," he greeted the tiny creature who had followed him home a week ago, from that world with the obnoxiously self-centered young emperor. "Are you telling me to do my best today?"

She yipped and bumped her head against him affectionately.

"Very well." Saïx climbed out of bed, yawning. _'So tired...and so desperately behind...should I just send someone to do recon in Wonderland instead, and stay home for a Paperwork Day?'_ No, he had just done a Paperwork Day last week. He could not afford to look like he was slacking off. _'Wonderland it is, then.'_ Saïx sighed. _'And if there are guards in the hedge maze again, the non-interference rule can burn, I am ripping up ALL OF THEM.'_

Chi followed him around adoringly as he got dressed, packed his backpack, looked something up in one of his files, and made sure that the pen attached to his clipboard still had plenty of ink. Then he picked her up and nuzzled her as she happily licked his face. "Be a good girl today. Take pieces out of the Dusks if they try to sneak in. I'll be back later."

"Yip!"

"If I had a heart, this would be where I'd say you are adorable and I love you."

"Yip, yip!"

Saïx kissed the top of her head and then set her down, going over to refill her water bowl and make sure her food dispenser was full before he headed out.

The Proof of Existence was deserted at that hour. Saïx pulled out his daily list of matters that needed the Superior's attention and headed up to Number I's suite. He knocked on the portal. "Lord Xemnas?"

It took a while, as it usually did, since whatever Sorcerer on guard duty had to go to the Altar of Naught and drag Xemnas away from oogling Kingdom Hearts before he would come down to see his de facto second-in-command. At one point, Saïx thought he heard a giggle - he looked around, frowning, but there was no sign of anyone.

The portal shimmered. Just as Xemnas was stepping through it, Xigbar suddenly popped out of nowhere, upside-down in the air as he gleefully held a sprig of mistletoe above the Superior of the In-Between's head. Before Saïx could react, Demyx came bounding out of hiding to kiss Xemnas's cheek. "Merry Christmas, boss!" He burst into laughter, as Xigbar seized his arm and warped them both away to safety.

The two remaining Nobodies stared after them. "What was that?" Xemnas finally asked.

"...That would be Numbers II & IX, acting like bratty eight-year-old girls again." Saïx absently touched the intersection of his scars, where Xigbar had gotten him earlier that week. No amount of scrubbing could seem to erase the sensation of another man's lips on the bridge of his nose. "Permission to Dusk them, sir?" he asked for what felt like the fiftieth time.

"No, Number VII. This mistletoe business is harmless enough, and we need all the manpower we can get."

Saïx sighed. He, Zexion, and Larxene had planned a counteroffensive to Xigbar, Demyx, and Marluxia's Mistletoe Brigade - however, he would need Axel's help, and the Flurry of Dancing Flames didn't give a flip about the Mistletoe Wars as long as the children stayed off limits. Which meant that Saïx could probably recruit him if he told Axel about Roxas getting ambushed by Marluxia the other day.

"What was it you came to discuss with me, Number VII?"

Saïx shook himself out of his thoughts and looked down at the list. "Well, first of all, the Castle Oblivion preparations were going well, but I am chagrined to report that the printer is out of order and card production has stopped until Vexen can get it working again..."

By the time he had finished, it was nearly 5:30. After hurrying through his preparations in the bathroom, Saïx dropped the comb and gel bottle back into his locker and made his way downstairs.

The kitchen doorway was blocked. Saïx automatically shot a fire spell at the clump of mistletoe hanging above it, but the couple wrapped in each other's arms did not seem to notice.

Larxene's eyes finally flew open, and she shoved Demyx away. "What do you think you're _doing_?" she snarled. "In case you've forgotten, you are _not_ my boyfriend anymore!"

"Yeah, and I'm kind of starting to regret that, since you kiss way better as a Nobody than a Somebody." Demyx grinned and kissed her again. Larxene hit him. She raised her fist again but then seemed to forget to complete the action, since she was apparently too busy kissing him back.

_'What?'_ Saïx thought.

Larxene remembered herself again and jerked away. "Why do you have to be such a good kisser?" she screamed. "I hate you!" Her entire body began to crackle with lightning, and Saïx took a prudent step back.

Demyx's eyes widened. "Wait! Relena-!"

"_Don't call me that!_" Sizzling and screaming filled the hallway. Satisfied, Larxene flounced off to get breakfast. Saïx followed her into the kitchen, stepping over Demyx's smoking, twitching body.

When Saïx came into the dining room with an egg sandwich and a mug of coffee, he found Larxene sipping tea and giggling as she watched a couple of Dusks winding Zexion's long bangs into several little braids. The Cloaked Schemer was passed out with his face resting on his laptop keyboard, surrounded by piles of books and papers, some candy canes, and a coil of Christmas lights.

"Begone." The Dusks took one look at Saïx's expression and hastily wriggled away. "Zexion."

When that produced no response, Larxene yelled in her most obnoxious tone, "Wakey wakey, shorty!"

Zexion jerked. Then he shifted some more and blinked his eyes open blearily. "Mm...?"

"Did you ever go to bed last night?" Saïx asked.

Zexion raised his head and stared around the room. "What time is it?" His left cheek was red and covered with blocky imprints from the laptop keys.

Larxene burst into laughter. "You look ridiculous."

Zexion reached up to start untangling his hair, his expression sulky.

"It's nearly 6:00 in the morning," Saïx told him, biting into his sandwich. He only had a few minutes to finish eating and get to the Grey Area before people started showing up for their assignments.

"Ahhh..." Zexion rubbed his face with his hands, obviously frustrated. "I can't believe it, this is ridiculous." He looked up and asked apprehensively, "What is my mission for today? I would really appreciate it if you could cut me a break and assign me to Shadow Globs or something, there is still so much left to-"

"Your mission," Saïx said shortly, "is to finish holiday preparations here at the castle." On the rare occasion when he decided to be nice, there was always the impulse to sound as irritable as possible, as if he somehow had to make up the difference.

Zexion sighed in relief.

"How about me?" Larxene asked.

"You're with Axel and Xion on heart collection today."

For once, he had deliberately organized the groups so that (almost) everyone would be in an arrangement that he or she would like best. Xaldin and Lexaeus got along well, and had been working as partners for over a decade. Luxord did not mind Vexen's whining, since he amused himself by insulting the Chilly Academic in such mysterious terms that Vexen never caught on, but would instead feel that he was getting proper respect from the polite gambler. Larxene and Xion were so friendly with each other now that they enjoyed being partnered for missions, and Axel, one of the few who could get along with Larxene when necessary, would be pleased to get to work with his precious puppet. In an unprecedented move, Saïx would even have thrown in Roxas if they were not so behind on heart collection. Only a limited number of Heartless showed up during each mission, so he needed the Keybearers to split up, but he would give the boy a Level Doubler and quadruple his mission rewards or something.

"Really?" Larxene was saying. "Well, that actually sounds fun, for once."

Saïx nodded. "It's Christmas Eve, so everyone is paired up for easy missions today..." He smiled vengefully. "...Except the Mistletoe Brigade. Each of them has a solo assignment for two giant Heartless."

"_Nice_ one," Larxene whistled appreciatively, as Zexion laughed.

5:59. Saïx stood up to leave. "Will you fare all right without Demyx?"

Zexion rolled his eyes. "That idiot's been almost worse than useless. I could probably get more done without him."

"That's what I thought."

o.o.o.o.o

Xion woke up to find Larxene shaking her shoulder.

"Xi, get up already! We get to work together today."

The younger girl sat up eagerly. "Really?"

"Yup. And guess who else is coming with us?"

Xion held her breath, hardly daring to hope.

"I'll give you two guesses."

"Well, _that_ doesn't help."

Larxene laughed. "Okay, it's Axel."

Xion gasped in delight. "I get to go on a mission with you _and_ Axel?"

"Yep. We might even get done before lunch."

"Oh, that's _wonderful_! If we could have Roxas, too, that would be _perfect_," Xion said rapturously.

"No way! Then you'd leave me and Flame-head to do all the work while you lag behind sucking face with your boyfriend."

"Roxas is not my boyfriend!"

Larxene dodged, laughing, and went to check her panel arrangement as Xion got dressed.

The younger girl had moved for the second time in less than a month, but it was pretty cool to get to share a room with another female. For one thing, she did not have to go all the way to the bathroom whenever she wanted to change clothes, and she could leave her underwear lying around without worrying about freaking out her roommate. "Today is going to be so fun," she said to herself happily.

o.o.o.o.o

The morning of December 24th dawned with the usual rain of HP balls (Roxas had long since stopped bothering to set his alarm clock). "Give me an Elixir."

Roxas opened his eyes and sat up. He felt strange, as if the HP balls had suddenly dragged his health back up rather than simply giving him an unnecessary energy rush. "Good morning, Maruhana." (It was easier than calling the thing "Marluxia's flower" all the time.)

"It is not a good morning. I do not have my Elixir or my sun."

"Guess I'd better fix that, then." Roxas turned on the lamp and handed over the last Elixir in his inventory. He did so with a great feeling of relief - now he would no longer have to hoard those particular items, avoid using them in battle, wager the Poker League members for them, or beg Elixir recipes from Axel and Xion.

As always, the flower perked up considerably after being fed. "Good morning, Rocks!"

"You okay now?"

"Yes. Do not come home late."

"I won't," Roxas said patiently. Maruhana had _still_ not gotten over the Disney Town incident. "Hey, you remember what I told you, right?"

"What did you tell me?"

"Today's your last day with me. You're going to go live with Marluxia starting tomorrow. He'll be your new friend."

"Rocks will always be my friend."

Roxas smiled. "Yeah. I guess so."

The energy high from Maruhana's HP balls faded, and Roxas felt tired as he got dressed. His movements grew more and more sluggish, and he wondered how he was going to get through the day's mission. _'What's wrong with me? I don't know if I'll be able to fight like this...'_

He tried to sling his backpack on - and nearly fainted. _'What?! It's like I'm-'_ He summoned his Keyblade. Sure enough, it was glowing in readiness to unleash a Limit attack. _'But that's ridiculous, I haven't taken any damage!'_ Weakly, Roxas fought to get the stopper out of a Hi-Potion, and drank the whole bottle. Then he downed another.

Feeling much better, he got up and finished his preparations, though he had to keep swallowing Hi-Potions as if he had been Ignited or something. _'I feel awful...'_

Roxas had developed something of a doorframe phobia after getting mistletoed by the Graceful Assassin, so now he almost never went anywhere in the castle without using dark corridors. He appeared in the kitchen, yawning, and found that he did not have the energy to prepare a breakfast consisting of anything more complicated than an untoasted bagel. Plain, since he felt strangely queasy at the thought of anything sugary or greasy. _'There is definitely something wrong with me.'_

He drank another Hi-Potion as he ate, so that he would not pass out on the dining room table. Then he dragged himself to the Grey Area, where Demyx was whining at the unyielding Saïx ("What do you mean I've got a mission?! It's Christmas Eve, man! Today's supposed to be a vacation day! HAVE YOU NO HEART? ... Okay, lame joke, but come on!") and Vexen was whining at the Moogle ("How dare you, you little ingrate! I ought to report your swindling to the Superior! He'll throw you out on the streets where you'll be eaten by Heartless, and I'll just get my synthesizing done...er...somewhere else!"). Luxord was lounging on one of the sofas, idly shuffling his cards and enjoying the show.

"Is Axel still here?" Roxas pleaded.

"I'm afraid you're out of luck - you just missed him. He and the ladies have gone to see what fate has in store for them in Twilight Town."

"...Okay," Roxas whimpered. He was seriously scared now. This was some status effect he had never encountered before and had no idea how to combat; Panaceas had no effect. He shuffled over to the Luna Diviner, shoulders hunched in anticipation. "Saïx...I...might take a while...to complete...this miss-" He closed his eyes and toppled forward, leaving the startled Saïx with an armful of cute boy.

"Hey, what's the matter with Roxas?" Demyx wondered.

Saïx lowered Roxas to the ground, eyes narrowed in irritation as he pulled out a Potion and forced the contents down the boy's throat. "What a fool... How did his HP get so low here in the castle?"

Roxas stirred, opening his eyes slowly and staring at the ceiling. Demyx waved a hand in front of his face. "Yoo hoo, Roxas! Time for work, buddy! Hey, you wanna take my mission if I give you a...I don't know...a Slot Releaser or something?"

Roxas slowly sat up. "Why am I on the ground?"

"That's what I should be asking you," Saïx said coldly. "Heal up and read your mission brief. We need to step up the heart collection, so I'm sending you to-" He broke off abruptly.

Roxas, feeling dizzy, had found himself gradually drooping until his head came to rest against the blue-haired Nobody's chest. Horrified, he tried to lift his head again, but could not move. He lost consciousness before he could try again.

Demyx laughed. "Sleepy Roxas is sleepy."

Saïx noticed the unnatural pallor of the boy's face. "Vexen, come here," he snapped. "Tell me what's wrong with Number XIII."

The Chilly Academic minced over, still complaining. "Honestly, no respect in this castle, what are the worlds coming to...?" He halted and stared down at Roxas.

"You didn't make another defective replica, did you?" Saïx said severely.

"Of course not! This is definitely the real Number XIII." Vexen snorted. "That doesn't mean he isn't defective, though."

Zexion, who had been trying to get work done on the other side of the room, now sighed and came over to them. He knelt beside Roxas, pulled off one of his gloves, and laid the back of his hand against the boy's forehead. "He has a fever," Zexion stated. The word _'idiots'_ hovered unspoken at the end of his sentence.

"How unfortunate," Luxord remarked.

"Roxas, wake up!" Demyx cupped his hand so that it began to brim with water, which he splashed in the boy's face.

"Demyx!" Saïx snapped, who had also been in the line of fire and now had a soggy coat.

"Whoops! Sorry. *snerk*"

"Don't make me decide to add a third giant Heartless to your assignment," the Diviner growled.

"Eep! I'll be good!"

Roxas blinked at the ceiling and did not know whether to be amazed or terrified when he realized he was lying in Saïx's arms. He intended to scramble away, but his limbs felt like lead. "Where's Axel?" he whimpered. "Something's wrong with me."

"You've just got a fever," Saïx grumped. "It won't kill you."

"Feels like I've been Ignited," the boy whispered, his mouth feeling dry as a bone. "But it won't go away. Panaceas don't work...Hi-Potions don't last long..." Seeing the water droplets still dripping from Demyx's glove, he reached desperately for the Nocturne's hand, but lost consciousness again before his fingers had done more than twitch.

"Not battle damage," Vexen mused. "It seems that lesser recovery items are not effective when the bodily weakness is natural. Zexion," he ordered, "restore his health with Cure spells. For Science."

Zexion sighed and did as he was told. Roxas's eyes flew open. He gasped and hurriedly got to his feet, looking around at all the people whose attention was fixed on him. "I-I've been acting weird, haven't I," he said nervously. "Sorry. Um, Saïx? Do you have my mission brief?"

The Diviner said nothing. Everyone just kept watching Roxas expectantly. It was a little creepy. "Guys?"

No one said anything except for Vexen, who seemed to be counting under his breath for some reason. "44, 45, 46, 47..."

Roxas felt the fatigue creeping back. "Well...I guess I'll just...sit over here and arrange my panels, or something." Roxas went over to sit on the couch, looking over his shoulder nervously as everyone followed him. They all watched in bizarre fascination as he began replacing a lot of his attack spells with healing magic. So tired...

"61, 62, 63, 64..."

He wanted to lie down on the couch, but was too scared to do so in front of Saïx. When he felt like he could no longer keep his eyes open, he struggled to get a Hi-Potion out of his backpack, but Vexen took it away before he could drink it.

"78, 79, 80..."

"What's going _on_?" Roxas tried to demand. He did not manage to get all the words out of his mouth before he flopped over sideways, unconscious again.

"87 seconds," Vexen announced. "So magic is no good, either. Aside from natural recovery, only an Elixir would be powerful enough to immediately restore his full functionality."

There was a pause. "Well, administer one, then," Saïx said.

Vexen snorted. "As if I'd waste such a valuable item! Use one of the boy's own."

"I'll give him an Elixir if he does my mission for me," Demyx offered.

"That mission was designed for _you_, Number IX," Saïx snapped. "Get going before I double it up with Roxas's task as well." Not that Demyx was actually capable of heart collection, but of course he didn't actually know what the Keybearer's assignment was.

"I'm going, I'm going!" Demyx pouted, disappearing into a corridor of darkness.

"We shall be on our way, as well," Vexen said grandly. "Come, Luxord!"

Saïx was left alone with Zexion and the unconscious Roxas. "This is highly inconvenient," Saïx remarked.

"I can imagine. If you will excuse me..." Zexion went back to his computer to resume where he had left off. Saïx sighed, then lifted the boy over his shoulder and headed off to the Proof of Existence.

When he walked into the thirteenth portal, his attention was immediately caught by all the clutter. _'Oh, yes. Teenage boys are messy. I had forgotten about that.'_ He hefted Roxas onto the unmade bed and then stared at the large pink flower that was waving gently in a pot on the windowsill. The flower leaned over Roxas's still figure, gazing intently into his face. Then it spat out a cluster of HP balls.

Roxas revived, opening his eyes and smiling when he saw what had woken him. "Hi, Maruhana," he murmured, affectionately reaching up to stroke one of the silken petals.

"Your leaves are wilting," the flower observed.

"Yeah," Roxas agreed sadly.

Maruhana paused, apparently thinking. It finally said softly, "Give me an Elixir."

Roxas smiled a little. He could no longer seem to keep his eyes open. "Sorry, Hana...I'm all out...you ate...the last one...this...morning..." He was asleep again.

"This is quite unfortunate," Saïx said in displeasure.

The flower looked up and seemed to glare at him. "Give me an Elixir," it demanded.

"No."

"You are an aphid nymph," it hissed. Saïx was pretty sure he had just been insulted, but he did not really care. Instead, he turned to the clutter, wondering if he should make a new rule about members having to keep their rooms tidy.

There was a pile of (very badly wrapped) presents in one corner. Saïx went over for a closer look. There were twelve of them, all with labels bearing names: one for each member of the Organization except Marluxia and Roxas himself. Come to think of it, that Maruhana thing's pot had had a gift ribbon tied around it, along with a tag. _'Maruhana...Maaru- Oh.'_

Slowly, Saïx reached out and picked up a box covered with blue gift wrap and far too much tape.

_To: Saïx_

_From: Roxas_

_Merry Christmas_

Saïx stared at it for a long time. Then he looked over at the sleeping boy. _'Merry Christmas, hm?'_ He put the box back on the pile and walked over to the bed. He stared at Roxas for so long that Maruhana got uneasy and hunched over him protectively.

_'I don't want to give him one of my Elixirs, but he'll be useless otherwise. He could always pay me back. With interest. Or I can make that Moogle give him one from its stock.'_ However...it might be useful having a sick child to care for. _'...Perhaps...I can have that Paperwork Day after all.'_ Saïx smiled.

"If you try to pick him," Maruhana warned, "I'll rot your roots."

"I have no intention of 'picking' him. You might as well get used to me, because I'll be here all day."

Saïx went to change into a dry coat, informed Zexion and the Superior of his whereabouts, packed a box full of water bottles, dragged his desk through a dark corridor into Roxas's room, and settled down to get some work done.

For Roxas, it was a strange day. The second time he woke up in bed, wearing a tank top and shorts instead of his coat, he remembered that he was running super-late for work and that Saïx would be furious at him - but he felt weak and shivery and sweaty, and it was so hard to move.

Someone in a black Organization coat lifted his head up and pressed a straw to his lips, telling him to drink. He knew only one person who would be that gentle and authoritative. _'Axel came back,'_ Roxas thought in great relief. "I...have to get...to the Grey Area...I never...got my mission...from Saïx..."

"You have the day off today." The voice seemed quieter and more collected than it should be. "Rest and regain your strength. And drink some more water, you need fluids."

"Okay..." The rest of the day went pretty much the same. He would sleep for an hour or two, wake up feeling so achey and weak that he thought he might be dying, and always Axel would coax him to drink something or take more medicine, and pull the kicked-away covers back over him if he was shivering, or replace the cool cloths on his burning forehead when they had dried out.

Around noon, as Saïx was trying to get some soup into the boy, Roxas, eyes closed and face still flushed, asked softly, "Axel?"

"Mm?" It was easier than explaining that Axel was still away on his mission.

"Am I...gonna miss Christmas?"

"You'll be fine," Saïx grumbled.

"It would be...so awful to sleep through Christmas like this..."

"I told you, you'll be fine."

"Axel?"

He sighed, starting to develop a newfound respect for Number VIII's patience. "What?"

"I feel so awful...am I fading into darkness?"

"Eat more soup and I'll tell you."

Roxas obediently swallowed a few more spoonfuls.

"No, you are not fading into darkness. Bodies can be frail things, especially yours-" Saïx surveyed the skinny arms with distaste. "-but a fever's not enough to kill most people. You'll be all right."

"...Okay..."

Roxas drifted off again, and Saïx settled back at the desk. Shortly after that, Xemnas himself came in, striding over to the bed as if he owned the place (well, he actually did own the place) and gazing down at the sleeping young Nobody. "Is he still broken?"

"Yes," Saïx said curtly.

"When will he be operational again?"

"Most likely when Axel returns."

"Good. So this setback won't be as costly as the last one. Perhaps if Vexen can alter his memories, he will not keep falling into disrepair."

_'They're not the same, you idiot,'_ Saïx thought. _'He has a fever because he caught some germs, not because the Keyblade Hero's memories are interfering.'_

"Let me know if Axel's return does not correct the problem."

"Certainly."

Xemnas turned and walked back out again.

Despite having to look after Roxas and getting frequently interrupted by Zexion ("I need the seventh basement's security code...your Berserkers are clogging Naught's Approach again...did Xigbar and Larxene not get popcorn on the last shopping trip? I can't find any in the kitchen...those incompetent Dusks are mangling the popcorn strings, is there any chance you can you help me put some together before everyone gets back?"), Saïx managed to work his way through quite a lot of paperwork. At 2:20, he removed all traces of his presence in the Key of Destiny's room, and at 2:30, he was at his post in the Grey Area, prepared to receive the other members as they returned.

Not surprisingly, the first back was the team of three. Xion scampered out of a dark corridor, her eyes shining. "That was so fun!" she was calling over her shoulder. "I hope we can do it again soon." She turned to Saïx and smiled. "Hello, Saïx. Is Roxas back yet?"

"He is in his room."

"Oh, good!"

Saïx met Axel's eyes, his tone as irritated as he could make it. "You had better see to the boy."

Axel frowned. "Huh?"

"That useless excuse for an Organization member cost us an entire day's work."

"What are you talking about?"

"Go take care of it."

"Is something wrong with Roxas?" Axel asked sharply.

When the Luna Diviner did not deign to reply, Axel quickly dark corridored to his friend's room, followed closely by Xion. "Roxas!"

"Give me an Elixir."

"Not now, Hana," Axel said impatiently, striding over to the bed and yanking off his glove. Roxas's face was sweaty, his flesh seeming to sear Axel's palm.

"Axel, what's wrong with him?" Xion cried in distress.

Axel swore and began digging around in his backpack.

"I need an Elixir," Maruhana insisted.

"Shut up, you stupid flower! It's Roxas who needs an Elixir!"

"Yes," the plant agreed. "I need an Elixir to water Rocks with before all his petals fall off."

"Here," Xion said hurriedly, finding one before Axel did. "Will this make him better?"

Axel carefully lifted Roxas with one arm and held the Elixir to his lips. "Come on, Roxas, swallow..."

Roxas opened his eyes. "Axel?" he said weakly.

"Hey, buddy, good job. Come on, drink the rest..."

Roxas lifted a hand to grasp the bottle so that he wouldn't feel like such a baby. It was the most he had been able to do all day, and he felt a little proud of himself.

When the bottle was empty, he sat up, alert for the first time in what seemed like ages.

"Do you feel better now?" Xion asked anxiously.

Roxas held up a hand to quiet her. He was counting, for some reason. "13, 14, 15, 16..."

"Roxas?" Axel questioned.

Roxas waved his hand impatiently in a Shut Up gesture. "19, 20, 21, 22..."

Axel and Xion looked at each other, then settled back to wait.

"...88, 89, 90." Roxas stopped counting and paused. He sat there, his body tense.

"Roxas?"

"_Wait_," the boy said in exasperation. He hopped out of bed and summoned his Keyblade, swinging it around energetically. "Hah! Hah! Hah!" He paused again, then dismissed the weapon and turned to his friends with a smile. "It worked! I feel fine."

"That's great!" Xion said happily.

"What was all the counting about?' Axel wanted to know.

Roxas shrugged. "This morning when I got hit with that status effect, Saïx and the others cast Cure spells on me to see if that would make it go away. They counted to see how long it worked, and I passed out again after 80-something seconds."

"Saïx did, huh," Axel said tightly. "He didn't think to try an Elixir, I suppose."

Roxas frowned. "I guess not...he gave me a vacation, though. That was pretty nice of him."

"Yeah. Real nice. If you kids will excuse me, I've got a jerk to go chew out..."

"Okay."

"See you, Axel."

Axel corridored to the Grey Area, where Saïx was handing a mission report form to Lexaeus.

"You!" Axel growled, storming over.

Saïx turned to face him. "Did you need something?" he asked coldly.

Axel stabbed an accusing finger at him, his voice shaking with anger. He felt like he was simply going through the motions, but his body's reactions were genuine. "You _left_ him like that? He was sick, and you just _abandoned him all day_ like he's worthless?"

"He was unfit to carry out his duties," Saïx said. Axel wanted to punch that arrogant look right off his face. "The Organization has no use for such baggage."

"One Elixir," Axel snarled. "That's all it would have taken. You know I would've paid you back."

"I'm not going to waste valuable resources on leeches who don't pull their own weight," the Diviner said in his iciest tone.

Axel suddenly felt energyless. There was just...no point to it. Getting worked up would only give Saïx the satisfaction of seeing him show more false emotion, more proof that no matter how much Axel tried to care, he could not. "You are scum, Saïx." Axel turned his back and left.

When he returned to Roxas's room, the kids were hanging out, still talking. "...no, she's pretty nice about most things now, it's just that she can still get grumpy if she hasn't slept enough."

"Huh. I'd never have guessed things would turn out like that." Roxas looked up at their friend's re-appearance. "Oh! Axel, I almost forgot. Thanks for taking care of me today."

The red-haired man blinked. "What?"

"You know. Being there whenever I needed you, and changing the cloths on my head and stuff." He grinned. "We have fruit juice too, you know. Did I really have to drink all that water?"

Axel stared at the boy, wondering if he had just made a fool of himself.

Xion frowned. "Huh? Roxas, Axel was on the mission all day with me and Larxene."

Roxas looked surprised. "Really?"

"Yeah," Axel said slowly. "I didn't even know you were sick 'til we got home just now."

Roxas looked confused. "But...but then who was taking care of me all this time?"

"Maybe it was one of your Samurai," Xion suggested.

"No, he was wearing our coat, and he talked. Like, out loud."

"Huh. Weird," she murmured.

"Yeah."

Axel made a mental note to have his Assassins ask the Samurai some questions later on, when the kids were not around.

Since it was Christmas Eve, everyone was ordered to eat dinner together, which was a first in Organization history. Luxord taught the kids how to properly set the table, and soon Zexion and Lexaeus came out of the kitchen to serve a feast of roast goose, pudding, and other holiday treats that Roxas and Xion had learned about in Christmas Town.

The meal was much more successful than the after-dinner activities Demyx and Zexion forced everyone to participate in, which included chestnut-roasting ("For once in your friggin' life, Axel, _stop making things explode_ just because you can!"), and carol-singing ("OH MY CHEESE WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU COULD SING LIKE THAT YOU HAVE TO COME TO OUR NEXT REHEARSAL!" "I _told_ you not to let Demyx hear you sing, kiddos").

Eventually, however, everyone was left to their own devices. "Oh...I'm so sorry, Larxene," Xion apologized, "but we...kind of had other plans..."

Axel rolled his eyes in response to the Savage Nymph's expression. "Oh, whatever. You can come, too, as long as you keep up the nice act."

"Hmph. I'm not so desperate for company that I'll stoop to your level of patheticness," Larxene scoffed. Nevertheless, she ended up lounging on the makeshift futon with Xion as Axel set up the DVD player.

Roxas came in, carrying Maruhana. Larxene wrinkled her nose. "What is _that_?"

"Marluxia's Christmas present," Xion explained.

"It's Maruhana's last night with us," Roxas explained, "so...I dunno, I didn't wanna leave him all alone in my room..."

Axel laughed. "You're gonna miss ol' Hana, aren't you."

Roxas smiled sheepishly, hugging the flowerpot closer. "Yeah, I guess so."

"Will Marsh forget to turn the sun off at night?" Maruhana inquired, sounding anxious.

"No," Roxas said reassuringly. "He takes a lot better care of flowers than I do."

"Good."

Roxas set the flower on the floor nearby, then climbed onto the futon next to Xion. There was just enough room for Axel to squeeze in on the end after he had started the film. "Now commencing Operation: Cheesy Christmas Movie Night!"

Maruhana was the first to go, nodding off after about half an hour. The kids lasted until around midnight, and Larxene held out until 2:00 in the morning.

At 3:00, Axel, so tired that he could barely look at the screen, smiled at the sight of his sleeping, makeshift family. "Looks like I win." He yawned. "So weird...even if I still had a heart...feels like...it couldn't get any better than this..." He yawned again, then laid his head down and drifted off.

_To be continued..._

Author's Notes: This ended up being my favorite chapter in the fic. And was also the chapter where Maruhana blossomed (har) into a full-fledged OC instead of just a fun extra, so that was pretty cool. Speaking of which, "Maaruusha no hana" (Marluxia's flower) - Maruhana. And I found out afterwards that "maruhanabachi" means "bumblebee," heh.

Like Kadaj's Ao-chan, Chi came out of NOWHERE. ^^; She gave me the perfect excuse to cuteify Saïx some more, heh.

I don't like yaoi, so as far as I'm concerned, the only lip-locking involved was Demyx & Larxene's.

Uh, yeah, so while I was trying to figure out mistletoe dynamics, Demyx & Larxene started making out, and Saïx pretty much served as an "Um, wut?" author stand-in. ^^; Though ever since then, I've gotten attached to the idea of ex-DemLarx, even though in this fic it had zero development and came out of nowhere. And I have a hard time seeing her as an 'Arlene,' which was why I was so happy when Infamousplot mentioned 'Relena' instead. It'll serve as a placeholder 'til we find out her real name.

For some reason, I find it really difficult to write Luxord's game/luck dialogue. Though I've noticed that he's got something in common with Axel...they both have different speaking styles, depending on whether it's text-only or a high-quality cutscene. They're opposites, though: Axel's spoken dialogue sounds odd, but his text-only dialogue looks normal; whereas Luxord sounds normal when he speaks, but does all the weird game-talk in his text-only scenes.


	10. Three playing cards

**Christmas at the Castle, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic by Raberba girl**

**Chapter 10 - ...Three playing cards...**

Xion's eyes snapped open. She sat up abruptly, staring around.

The TV was playing a loop of the menu screen for a movie she could not remember Axel starting. Maruhana's petals were still peacefully closed. Larxene was snoring a little and spooning her on one side; Roxas was cuddled up to her on the other, and Axel was over on the end, mumbling something in his sleep that sounded like, "ButIsaIthoughtyousaidyouwere n'tallergic..."

Feeling so full of squee that it was hard to keep silent, Xion shook her fellow Keyblade wielder's shoulder. "Roxas? Roxas, are you really still sleepy?"

Blue eyes cracked open. Then they widened, and Roxas shot upright, staring at her. "Is it...Christmas?" he asked breathlessly.

"It's_ Christmas_!" Xion squealed in excitement. They both made a whispered sound like, "Eeeeeeeee!"

Roxas rolled over and yanked on Axel's arm. "Axel! Axel! Axel! Wake up!"

It took a few tries, but eventually they got the Flurry of Dancing Flames to pry his eyes open. "Wuhbbuh?" he mumbled intelligently.

Xion wiped a bit of drool off the corner of his mouth with her wrist. "Axel, come on! This is the part where we open presents, right?"

Axel groaned and peered at the clock. Then he made a noise like, "Glaargh!" and added, "It's _4:00 in the morning_! Go back to SLEEP, you crazyheads!" He flipped over and buried himself beneath the covers.

"Axel!"

"_Axel_!"

It was no use. Xion looked at Roxas in distress. "Do you know what time Christmas is supposed to start?"

"No..." Roxas sighed and climbed out of bed, stretching. "Do you want to see if anyone else is awake?"

"Sure."

They padded through the Proof of Existence, sizing up portals. "Demyx is probably excited for Christmas," Xion said hopefully.

"Yeah. And I don't think he'll bite our heads off if we go into his room," Roxas agreed.

They entered the ninth portal cautiously. The room was dark except for the illuminated fish tanks lining one wall, which was enough for the young Nobodies to sidestep all the teetering piles of CDs, the stacks of papers, the music stands, and an open sitar case on the floor. They could make out Demyx's figure curled up on the bed under a heap of Dancers, still fast asleep.

The kids looked at each other in silent dismay. Then Roxas cautiously reached over to shake the Nocturne's shoulder. A few Dancers woke up and peered at him curiously, making him nervous. "Demyx? Hey, Demyx, can you wake up, please?"

It took both of them shaking Demyx hard, bouncing on the bed (and then having to push away the excited lesser Nobodies who seemed to think they were dancing), and yelling in his ear before the Nocturne finally showed signs of life. He yawned and blinked sleepy green eyes at them. "Eh? It's time to get up already?"

"Well...it's Christmas morning," Roxas lamely tried to explain.

"Yeah," the musician agreed happily. "No work today, hurrah!" Then he saw the clock. "EH?! What the- Why did you come in so early?!"

"It's...well, it's Christmas morning," Xion fumbled.

Demyx let out a wail. "Yeah! Christmas morning! Which means I'm supposed to be able to _sleep as long as I want_!"

"But...but aren't you...excited?"

Demyx snorted. "Are you kidding? I don't give a jellyfish's tentacle about Christmas, I just wanted to be able to sleep in for once. Good night!" He flipped over and snuggled deeper into his pillows, causing a Shadow plushie to drop to the floor. Within moments, he was asleep again.

Roxas and Xion looked at each other in disappointment. "Well...now what?"

"I guess...we could always go get breakfast..."

They went to the kitchen to toast some Pop-Tarts, but to their surprise, the door to the dining room was blocked by one of the huge, X-shaped barricades they had only ever seen before on missions. Both their Keyblades failed to remedy this problem. Even dark corridors did not work, since the portals sputtered and dissipated every time they tried to aim for the inside of the dining room. They gave up eventually, and after some consultation, finally went to eat in the Grey Area.

"Oh!" Xion exclaimed upon their arrival. "G...Good morning."

Zexion looked up from his book and nodded. Saïx merely glanced at them, then returned his gaze to the heart-shaped moon drifting in the sky outside the window.

"Um...do you know why we can't get into the dining room?"

"I sealed it off," Saïx said shortly. "The whole Organization should be gathered together before we start."

"About that," Roxas ventured, "what _time_ are we supposed to start? I know that Christmas is on December 25th, but...well, everyone's still asleep."

"It's not surprising," Zexion put in. "Only someone looking forward to the festivities would bother to rise at such an unreasonable hour."

Both Roxas and Xion found this to be an interesting statement. "So...you guys are excited for Christmas, too?"

Both young men looked startled. Then they exchanged glares, their faces coloring.

"It's my job to be awake before anyone else," Saïx snapped.

"Since I ended up on the organization committee, intentionally or not, I need to be in place to supervise," Zexion added in a growl.

"Oh." After an awkward moment, the kids finally went over to sit on a couch together and eat their breakfasts. They felt too intimidated to talk casually with the older Nobodies in the room.

Eventually, they decided that they might as well get dressed, so they did so. Then they went and watched another movie, cranking up the volume in hopes that their older friends would get out of bed, but all that happened was that Larxene angrily stalked back to her own room, and Axel grunted before pulling a pillow over his head.

However, by the end of the movie, Roxas sighed, looked over, and realized that Axel was lying there awake, watching the credits roll. "You're _finally_ up!" the boy cried.

Axel looked over at them and grinned. "Merry Christmas, you doofs." Then his eyes widened. "Ahh!" Roxas and Xion both pounced on him, seized his arms and legs, and hauled him bodily out of bed. They began towing him toward the door, their eyes full of grim determination. "Wait, wait, wait, wait!" Axel cried, half-laughing. "I gotta give you guys something before we go out there."

They paused and glared at him suspiciously.

Axel laughed again. "Let me go. I wanna give you guys your presents where the others can't see and get all jealous."

"I thought you weren't gonna buy any presents."

"Yeah, well, you two are special, okay?"

When they finally decided to release him, he went over to his closet and pulled out several small packages, which he tossed over to them. "Catch."

"What's in these?" Xion asked.

"You'll find out when you open them, silly."

Roxas opened the envelope first and pulled out a little paper square that was inside. His eyes widened when he saw what the gift card was for. "_Twenty_ free ice creams?!"

"Merry Christmas."

"T-Twenty?! I can get twenty ice creams if I turn this in?!"

"Well, you might not want to redeem them all at the same time..."

"Axel! Axel! Thank you!"

"Eh- No! NO! Bad Roxas, no hugging!"

Xion, meanwhile, had uncovered a silver locket with a flower engraved on the front. "Ohhh! Oh, Axel! It's beautiful!"

"Open it."

"It opens?!"

Axel pried it open for her, revealing a photograph of their faces tucked inside. It was, in fact, one of the pictures they had taken in the Disney Town photo booth. "Oh, _Axel_! It's perfect!"

Roxas was moving on to the little package. He unwrapped it and found... "Wah! It's a Keychain!" he exclaimed in delight. He summoned his weapon to try it out, as Xion did the same.

"Yours is called 'Frolic Flame,'" Axel told Roxas, "and 'Bond of Flame' for you, Xion."

"Woooww!" They were both waving their transformed Keyblades around like idiots, grinning hugely.

"This is so _cool_!"

"It looks just like your chakrams, Axel!"

He smiled. "Yeah, I figured you'd like those."

"Um, wait right here!" Roxas raced to his room, grabbed the gift with red wrapping paper, and ran back again. "Here!" he said breathlessly, thrusting the package at Axel. "I didn't buy it like the others, but I thought you might still like it...maybe. If you don't, I can get you something else."

Axel grinned and started tearing off the paper ("Nice wrapping job"), looking as if he was preparing to fake an expression of great surprise and delight. Then he actually saw what was in the box, and his face seemed to drain of color. Roxas and Xion grinned in anticipation, looking forward to Axel's reaction.

Seconds ticked by, one after another, and Axel stared at the items in the box as if they were his own severed body parts.

"Um...Axel?" Roxas finally ventured. "I...I'm really sorry...I can give you a Level Up panel or something if you want..."

Axel suddenly closed his eyes, drew in a shuddering breath, hunched over the box as he hugged it close, and dark corridored away.

The kids stared at each other in dismay. "Wow," Roxas said faintly. "I messed up big time."

"Well...at least he didn't burn it," Xion said, casting about for something positive to say.

"He's probably doing that right now," Roxas said glumly, "he's just too nice to do it where I can see."

However, when Axel unexpectedly returned a few minutes later, he was still holding the unscathed contents of the box. He laughed weakly when he saw them. "Sorry. I, uh...needed some time to myself." He rubbed hard at his face, which still seemed to be off-color.

"Axel, I'm really, _really_ sorry," Roxas said earnestly. "This is my first Christmas, at least that I remember, so I know I really suck at it, but...but I'll do better next year, I promise, so...so you'll still be my friend, right?"

"What?" Axel waved his hand in amused exasperation. "No, wait, you got the wrong idea! Look, I...I don't know how the- how the heck you found these, but flaming _pants_, they're...I..." He tried to pull himself together. "It just surprised me, that's all. I wasn't expecting..."

"Are you okay, Axel?" Xion asked softly.

Axel laughed shakily and rubbed at his face again. "Oi, you two...we don't have hearts, right?"

They nodded solemnly.

"Well...I can't believe I'm saying this...do you guys ever feel - something, anyway? Like...not a complete emptiness, but...something you can feel, in here?" He laid his hand over his chest.

They both nodded hesitantly, then looked at each other in surprise. _You, too?_

"Heh. Somehow, I figured that would be the case. Well...swear you won't tell anyone, right? I kind of...felt something. Just a little feeling. But it kind of threw me, you know?"

Roxas was not quite sure what this meant. "So...?" he said cautiously.

Axel hesitated, then reached to pull him into a hug, to Roxas's surprise. "Thank you," Axel whispered.

"...Heh. Bad Axel. No hugging."

Axel laughed.

Xion was studying the battered photograph. "That red-haired boy kind of looks like you, Axel," she said. "Who are these people?"

He laughed again, finally seeming back to his normal self. "None of your business, little girl," he said playfully, tugging the picture out of her hands.

"Xion," Roxas said, now very anxious to see Axel's reaction to whatever she had gotten for him. "Are you gonna give him your present now?"

"Well," she said shyly, "I was thinking that I kind of wanted to give everyone their presents at the same time...is that okay, Axel?"

His eyes narrowed. "Where did you get mine?"

"Um...I found it yesterday in a world where a singing dog with sunglasses was going around the city with a bunch of other animals, stealing sausages."

For a minute, Axel looked stumped. Then recognition dawned. "Oh - _Oliver and Company_," he murmured to himself. "Dad never went there, as far as I know...yeah, should be all right." He looked up and smiled at Xion. "Okay. I'll open mine with the others, and if it's another blast from the past, I'll just corridor away faster this time."

Xion smiled back, a little confused, but glad that he seemed happy.

Axel pulled on a T-shirt and cargo pants ("No WAY I'm gonna wear that stupid coat today"), which prompted Roxas to run and change into his birth clothes, and Xion to fetch a purple blouse and black skirt that she had bought in Twilight Town ages ago but had never had occasion to wear. Then they made their way to the kitchen so that Axel could warm up a few pizza slices for his breakfast and fry some eggs for the kids ("Whaddaya mean all you ate was Pop-Tarts?!").

As they were eating, Larxene came into the Grey Area, carrying a bag of what looked like candy. "Come here a minute, Xi," she called. As the girl went over to her, Larxene smiled and tossed a handful of chocolates at Axel. "Here, it's Christmas. Have some Kisses, since they're the only kind you'll ever get from me."

"Aw, Larxie, you shouldn't have!" Axel fake-squeed, handing half the chocolates to Roxas.

"Yeah, I know. And here, for my fellow mistletoe haters." More chocolates went sailing toward Saïx and Zexion, who did not seem displeased to receive them.

The girls left. Axel and Roxas chatted until they returned, Xion smiling happily and Larxene now wearing a tank top and cutoffs. Caving to their examples, Zexion went away and then returned wearing jeans and a lab coat, replying huffily to Axel's and Larxene's derision, "This is what I feel most comfortable in." Saïx stubbornly retained his regulation black coat, though he made no objection to the others' wardrobe choices.

AT LAST, everyone was awake and gathered in the dining room, which looked magical. Roxas and Xion held nothing back as far as their powers went, even forming sparkling orbs of light to drift around on the ceiling.

"Okay!" Demyx crowed, now bouncing around energetically since he was no longer allowed to sleep. "It's CHRISTMAS TIME! And to get us all in the proper spirit, we're gonna dress accordingly!" A chorus of groans arose as he began handing out Santa hats, but only a few members outright refused to wear them. "Now, who's got presents? This is your moment, go ahead and haul 'em in!"

Roxas and Xion corridored off to fetch their gifts. It seemed like Axel was not the only one to have skipped Christmas shopping, but Xigbar was stacking brightly wrapped packages under the tree, along with Lexaeus, Zexion, Demyx, Luxord, and Marluxia. Even Saïx brought over a festive-looking little basket filled with envelopes.

After Zexion insisted on photographs of the entire Organization standing in front of the tree, "All-righty!" Demyx yelled. "Our little Christmas elf is gonna beeee...you!"

Xion blinked. "Me?"

"Yup! Since you're the newest member. You get to hand out all the gifts! And don't forget the stockings."

A low rumble of (mostly bored) chatter started up as Xion walked around the room, reading the labels on all the presents and delivering them to their proper recipients. Roxas and Axel soon got up to help her. It made Roxas happy to see that the stockings were now magically laden, as if Santa really had come during the night. At some point during the month, Vexen had replaced his mad scientist stocking with a snowflake one, Saïx had bought a crescent moon stocking to take the place of the puppy, and Larxene had exchanged her chibi witch face for a lightning bolt. As Roxas handed them out, he wondered if Saïx had destroyed his old stocking, or if it was still salvageable somewhere...that puppy had been kind of cute...

The gift opening commenced: Roxas and Xion both got umbrellas from Xigbar, Rubik's Cubes from Lexaeus, books from Zexion (_Peter Pan_ and _The Adventures of Pinocchio_, respectively), vacation coupons from Saïx to be redeemed at their own discretion, CDs of his own music from Demyx, playing cards from Luxord (samurai-themed for him, Disney Princesses for her), and flower seed packets from Marluxia. Which reminded Roxas.

He went to get Maruhana, carefully carrying the flowerpot over to the Graceful Assassin. "Um...this is for you. I started calling him Maruhana - or maybe it's a her, I'm not really sure - but I guess you can name him whatever you want. If he doesn't mind. He eats one Elixir every morning, and don't forget to turn the sun lamp off at night, or else he won't be able to sleep. Oh, and you can have your lamp back, too; we borrowed it for a while so that Maruhana wouldn't get sick."

Man and flower sized each other up. "You are a lot bigger than Rocks," Maruhana concluded.

"A talking flower, eh? Hm." Marluxia gently cupped a hand around the silken petals and inhaled deeply. "Magnificent."

Maruhana preened, and Roxas smiled at them both in relief.

As he was heading back to rejoin his friends, he noticed that everyone seemed to have some sort of stuffed animal - a zebra for Xemnas, a wolf for Saïx, a dolphin for Demyx, and so on - except for himself and Axel. Lexaeus seemed to be particularly spellbound by the toy bear he was holding. "Where did all the stuffed animals come from?" Roxas wondered.

Xion blushed. "From me. It took a lot longer than I thought, but I managed to get them all done in time."

"...Oh."

Xion smiled. "You and Axel have special ones."

"Really?"

"Yes. I didn't want to bring them out until all the other gifts were opened, but I think now is a good time. I'll be right back." She opened a dark corridor and disappeared within it.

"Oi, Xigbar!" Axel called. "What the heck am I supposed to do with a couple of fake pizzas?"

"Try 'em out on your next mission," Xigbar answered mischievously, raising a couple of hair dryers in his trademark battle pose.

Roxas inspected his umbrella more closely and realized that if he held it by the tip, he could wield it in a very similar manner to his Keyblade. "I can really use this in battle?" he wondered.

"Don't try it," Axel warned. "Joke weapons are usually awful." Then he grinned. "But they can still be kind of fun, so save 'em to play with in a holo-mission or something." He flipped up one of his pizzas and caught it again as it came back down.

Xion returned, lugging a large box with a much smaller one perched on top of it. "Here," she said a little breathlessly, handing the small box to Axel and pushing the bigger one toward Roxas. "I hope you like them."

Roxas looked at his present. "Why does it have all those holes in the top?"

"Oh, _crap_!" Axel gasped, though he also seemed to be laughing. "Little girl, please don't tell me you've done what I think you did..."

Roxas suddenly yelped and scrambled away. His box had _lurched_, all by itself. And now it was making noises. "Is - Is there a _Heartless_ in there?!"

The room's chatter died as everyone turned to stare at them.

Xion cleared her throat nervously. "Everyone - I actually wanted to get presents like this for all of you, but I wasn't sure if you would be happy about that, so I made toy ones instead...but if you want real ones, please let me know, I'd love to get them for you."

After a pause, Axel grinned at Roxas. "Why don't you go first, buddy?"

Roxas glared. _'Oh, thanks.'_ Gripping his umbrella in one hand, Roxas slowly reached out with the other and began tearing the wrapping paper off, jerking back every time the box moved of its own volition (which was often). Then he cautiously peered inside.

A face was staring up at him, but it had warm brown eyes, not the creepy glowy yellow ones of a Heartless. A long, furry tail began beating excitedly against the sides of the box.

Then the puppy suddenly launched upwards to lick Roxas in the face, its momentum knocking over both the box and Roxas. Before Roxas could recover, it had romped joyfully onto his chest and was now showering his face with puppy-kisses.

"Aaahhh!"

Some of the others were laughing now. Xion pulled the puppy off of Roxas and cuddled it apprehensively, searching her friend's face for a sign of approval. "I've been calling him Destiny, but you can rename him if you want..."

Roxas stared at the puppy. "That's for me?"

"Um...yes?"

Roxas stared some more. "Destiny?" The dog yipped and struggled vainly to get back to him.

Roxas slowly crawled over and reached out a cautious hand, but before he could touch Destiny's head, the dog broke free and nearly bowled him over again.

Roxas finally laughed, steadying himself and managing to hold the overeager creature away from his face. "He's cool." The sensation of fur against his fingers was wondrous. "...And really soft.

Xion smiled in relief.

Axel rolled his eyes as he briskly rid his gift of its wrapping paper and tipped a disgruntled ginger kitten into his hand. "Well, aren't you cute," he cooed sarcastically at it. "Too bad Mr. Saïx McStrictface won't let me keep you."

"That is up to the Superior," Saïx said stiffly. "I will not concern myself with the matter as long as your mission performance remains unchanged."

Everyone looked at Xemnas. He gazed back dispassionately.

"Well?" Xigbar finally prompted. "What say you, boss? Is Axel gonna be buying kibbles and sifting through cat litter for the next fifteen years?"

Roxas wrapped his arms protectively around Destiny without realizing what he was doing.

"Those with no hearts have no use for such distractions."

Axel shrugged. "Well, nice meeting you," he told his irritably mewing Christmas gift. "Time to go chuck you into the Void now, I guess."

"Oh, Axel, no!" Xion gasped. "Please, Lord Xemnas, please let Axel and Roxas keep them! We'll work extra hard, we promise!"

Xemnas frowned at her. "What nonsense is this?"

Xion looked close to tears. "Please...they're so little...please let us keep them."

"They're really cute," Demyx spoke up, in what he must have thought was a persuasive tone.

"The way I see it," Xigbar drawled, "Superior didn't actually say No. Which means the 'No distractions' thing is really a suggestion rather than a rule, eh?"

Xemnas's only response was a bored "Hn."

Xion's eyes lit up. "So we can keep them?"

"Let's take that as a Yes," Xigbar finally said when Xemnas did not bother to answer.

Roxas smiled and hugged Destiny in relief.

"Oh, I'm so glad!" Xion burst out. She turned to Axel. "Do you like him? You're going to keep him, right?"

Axel looked down at the kitten, who hissed and sank its tiny fangs into his flesh. Even the most acute observer of his face would not have noticed any change in expression, so successful was he in hiding the moment when he fell completely and irrevocably in love. "Eh," he said with false nonchalance, tucking his new treasure into a pocket, "I guess I'll get used to little Bomb here." He looked over and grinned at Saïx. "Nice chew toy."

Saïx, who had just been thinking that it was perfect for Chi and wondering if Number XIII had somehow guessed his secret, now realized that it had been meant as an insulting joke. Not that he minded, but one did have to keep up appearances. He frowned and said icily, "A useless item. I'll see that it gets properly disposed of."

"You could always give it to li'l Destiny there."

_'No! It's for Chi!'_ "No doubt the creature will have plenty of objects to destroy without adding another to the list."

Roxas and Xion were playing with the puppy, who nearly choked on Xion's new seashell bracelet before she rescued it and put it safely back in its box. "By the way, thank you so much for this, Roxas! Did you make it yourself?"

"Yeah. Well, I mean...I was just gonna give you the shells, but then Luxord saw me wrapping them and was all, 'You should make something out of them,' and I was like, 'I don't know what to make,' so he helped, kind of, and it's still all crooked, but...yeah."

She smiled at him. "It's beautiful. So you found that world with the islands, then?"

"Yeah. Have you tried one of those star-fruits they have there? Taste it, it's really good."

Axel turned back to them, digging Bomb out of his pocket again. "Oi, Roxas, hold your hands out."

"Why?"

"Just do it." Axel adjusted the boy's palms so that they were face up and cupped together, then dropped the kitten into them.

Roxas's eyes grew huge. "Ehhh...so _soft_!" Ten times softer than Destiny, it was threatening to send his texture-starved hands into sensory overload.

Just then, a roar of laughter caught everyone's attention. They all looked over to see Larxene holding up the Twilight shirt with a stricken look on her face, as Xigbar seemed unable to control his amusement.

"Is that an...Edward Cullen shirt?" Zexion said in disbelief.

Larxene's blazing glare zeroed in on Xion. "You told," she said flatly.

The younger girl's eyes widened. "No! I didn't, I promise! I never said anything about your underwear!"

It took less than three seconds for most people to hear 'Edward Cullen' and 'underwear,' and add two and two together. Hilarity ensued. At least, for some people.

Larxene got to her feet, knives flashing between her fingers. "I will KILL YOU."

Xion was a reasonably intelligent girl. She fled screaming, hotly pursued by her third-best-friend-now-turned-enemy-for-life. Axel dashed after them ("Larxene! If you hurt her, I will roast you alive!"), leaving a very confused Roxas behind to wonder if perhaps Larxene had not liked her present after all.

While Xion was being rescued (though not before Larxene had zapped the Twilight Saga boxed sets she had given her that morning into smoking piles of rubbish...which, in Axel's opinion, they had already been to begin with), Saïx and Zexion bullied everyone into cleaning up the dining room, and Xigbar made them bring in the couches from the Grey Area for some reason. Then Demyx announced with great enthusiasm that it was "Time for some quality entertainment! Everyone kick back, relax, and enjoy our rendition of the greatest Christmas story ever told: Saïx's Christmas Carol!"

Saïx blinked. "What?"

Demyx grinned and slipped a homemade DVD into the player. "Prepare for those empty little holes in your chests to be warmed by some good old Christmas cheer!"

_To be continued..._

Author's Notes: Demyx's Shadow plushie is Chester from JenxtheJinx's videos on YouTube.

Bomb is one of Oliver's littermates. I'm sure that if Xion had known that Oli would've ended up all alone in the rain, she would have grabbed him, too. ^^;

Thank you, Taliax! Because R. girl is just as much of a dope as Roxas is, and would have just given the shells straight to Xion if you hadn't suggested making something out of them. ^^

Xion made a raccoon for Xigbar, a penguin for Vexen, a cat for Zexion, and a bumblebee for Marluxia. And no, Lexaeus does not have a crush on Xion or anything, he just thought that the bear was really cute. I don't think I ever figured out what Xaldin's, Luxord's, or Larxene's animals were. ^^;

I found something like this on BeautifulShadowsKeybearer131 7's profile and thought it would be fun to fill out my own. Organization XIII's opinions on Raberba girl!

I. Xemnas: "Who?"

II. Xigbar: "R.g., you let us make the Christmas Movie From Hell. 'Nuff said. XD *affectionate hair ruffle*"

III. Xaldin: "You have three seconds to get out of range before I send a lance through your gut."

IV. Vexen: "GIVE ME A SAMPLE OF YOUR DNA SO I CAN THROTTLE YOU WITH YOUR OWN REPLICA."

V. Lexaeus: "..."

VI. Zexion: "...Much as I hate to admit it, I kind of appreciate you. Though the next time you force me to read manga, I will destroy your computer."

VII. Saïx: "Hmph. *ignores me snuggling him*"

VIII. Axel: "I'M AN ASSASSIN, *censored*, NOT A NANNY! *rages*"

IX. Demyx: "R. giiiiiiirl, I thought you loved meeeeeeeeee! *SOB* *lets me bribe myself back into his good graces with a truckload of ice cream*"

X. Luxord: "Young woman, will you kindly get off your lazy backside and give me more screen time? *polite huff*"

XI. Marluxia: "*gives me a creepy, calculating look*"

XII. Larxene: "COME HERE SO I CAN KILL YOU HORRIBLY."

XIII. Roxas: "Why do you always write me all clueless like I was in Days? Write KH2-me or Coded-me, where I'm cooler. *pout*"

XIV. Xion: "Ummm...you do realize that manga-me is totally different from game-me, don't you...? *sweatdrop*"


	11. Two hotpink scythes

**Christmas at the Castle, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic by Raberba girl**

**Chapter 11 - ...Two hot-pink scythes...**

A/N: I HATE (most of) THIS CHAPTER SO FREAKING MUCH. The numerous perspective inconsistencies in particular bug me very much, but I couldn't really fix them.

o.o.o

9ẍ2ẍ9ẍ2 DEMYX & XIGGY'S MOVIE OF AW3S0M3! 2ẍ9ẍ2ẍ9

_Swirling fog filled the screen as old-fashioned Christmas carols played with haunting softness in the background. A recording of Demyx's voice began an overdramatic narration._

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far aw- *cough* J/k, our story begins in the foggiest swirling of fog...um, ever seen...in any clichéd movie opening ever! In London. Watch as the mists magically clear to reveal our hero- He's not really a hero...but he's the por- pot- pr0n- Xig, what's that word again? Protago-huh? Whatever; he's the main character! And he's moving offscreen so I gotta talk faster; anyway, it's Ebenezer Saïx, the richest and most miserly man in town.

_There was a rustle of laughter from the audience, for the figure on the screen was actually a sultry Dancer wearing a long blue wig and bearing an X-shaped mark on its almost featureless face, drawn in ink. The real Saïx was not amused._

Ebenezer Saïx forges through the snow-choked streets without so much as a nod or a smile or even a friendly insult to anyone he passes on this bleak Christmas Eve. He walks by a group of wretched beggars warming themselves around a pitiful fire.

_The beggars - ALL the figures on screen, actually - were lesser Nobodies. One of Sniper-beggars, wearing a blonde wig and jewelry like Luxord's, held out a hand to Ebenezer Saïx. When it spoke, it was in an outrageously accented voiceover by Xigbar, since lesser Nobodies are mute, of course._

"Please, sir. Won't you spare a penny for this poor gambler who's run afoul of Lady Luck this Christmas season?"

_"What nonsense," the real Luxord remarked. "I'm not so unskilled at wagering that I'd end up destitute."_

"Bah!" Ebenezer Saïx retorts [in Demyx's voice]. "The jails have plenty of warmer beds, go turn yourself in if you want a less miserable hearth!" He continues on, until he reaches a counting-house bearing the sign he's been too lazy to change, _Xemnas & Saïx Inc. Co. Ltd. Etc._, though his partner Jacob Xemnas has been dead and gone these past seven years.

_"Ah, the Ultimate Void," Xemnas said, almost dreamily. Those sitting near him surreptitiously scooted farther away._

Saïx enters the counting-house, where his handsome, talented, underpaid, and horribly, horribly, _horribly_ overworked clerk, Demyx Cratchit, sits working industriously at his desk.

_"As if you're capable of being industrious in _anything_," Zexion grumbled. Demyx stuck out his tongue at him._

"Merry Christmas, Mr. Saïx!" Demyx says brightly.

"Bah! Humbug."

"Why, Mr. Saïx! How _could_ you be so callous toward such a wonderful holiday as Christmas, where everyone gets to sleep in late and buy me presents?"

_"Hmph. Congratulations, Demyx. I didn't realize you knew the word 'callous.'"_

_"Hey, I know lots of things!"_

"I have no use for Christmas, because I'm a grumpy poopiehead and I live for assigning people ridiculously hard missions."

_Everyone immediately looked (not without some gleeful anticipation) at Saïx, who appeared to be contemplating preferred murder methods._

_"Joke!" Demyx squeaked. "Joke, joke, it's a joke!"_

"Well, Merry Christmas anyway, Mr. Saïx! You may be a meanie, but you're still one of my Dancers, so I love you!"

_"See?!"_

A knock sounds on the door. "Ah!" Saïx says greedily. "Another customer to send on awful missions. Open the door, Demyx!"

To his disappointment, it's not a customer, but actually his gorgeous niece-I-mean-nephew.

_Ebenezer Saïx's niece-I-mean-nephew turned out to be a Dancer decked out in a garish pink coat, with flowers trailing in its wake. Maruhana nearly had a meltdown until Rocks, Nice, Sea Foam, Marsh, Insects, and Dig More all insisted that the flowers were artificial, not corpses._

"Good afternoon, Uncle Saïx!" Marluxia says happily [in Xigbar's version of a girly voice]. "And a Merry Christmas to you!"

"Bah! Humbug."

"Well, _that's_ pretty rude."

"I told him the exact same thing," Demyx says in a huff.

"Anyway! Uncle Saïx, I've come to invite you to Christmas dinner! We're having roses, tulips, begonias, and marigolds."

_"What? That's not even real food."_

"Bah! As if I'd waste my time with silly flowers."

Marluxia begins to cry.

"Give me a cold, lonely counting-house any day! Now, be off with you, before I catch any of your otomen cooties."

_"Axel, what's an otomen?"_

_"Manly guy who likes girly things. Not to be confused with a guy who's just gay."_

_"Oh! That explains a lot."_

"Well, let me know if you change your mind, because even though you're a jerk with a big ugly scar and hair that looks like a rat's nest, you're still kind of cute and I want to deck you out in flowers." Marluxia leaves, but no sooner does the door slam shut behind him than it bursts open again, admitting two weirdoes in a swirl of snow.

"Ah! Real customers this time," Saïx says happily.

_One of the newcomers was actually two Snipers bound into a single coat, with the top one wearing a Lexaeus wig. The other was a Dancer wearing a Zexion wig, with dark bangs flowing down to the waist._

"Merry Christmas," Zexion mumbles. "If it can possibly still be merry after drowning in my emo-waves..."

"Your what?"

"We're looking for Misters Xemnas and Saïx."

"Xemnas is dead," Demyx says cheerfully.

"Ohhhh...then he's in the Ultimate Abyss of Despair," Zexion says rapturously. "Just a sec, I have to write a poem about that."

"NO, you don't," Saïx snaps. "I'm Saïx. What do you want?"

"To slit my wrists..."

"I meant, what do you want with ME?"

Zexion sighs loudly. "We're taking up a collection for the poor and those in desperate need of haircuts. Please give us lots of munny."

"Hah! Haircuts, indeed! Why should I waste my hard-earned munny on such drivel?" Isn't 'drivel' a fun word? Driveldriveldrivel. XD

"Because as you can CLEARLY SEE, unless that huge scar of yours made you half-blind as well as ugly, I can barely see through this curtain of hair, and every day I run the risk of tripping over something I can't see and breaking my neck, and I think I just said 'see' too much, oh well."

_"...I can see just fine through my hair."_

"Is that so?" Saïx growls like a dog (ha ha, see what we did there?). "Well, you can just keep right at it for all I care - after all, if it's your time to go, then it's your time to go, and it just means more horrible fun poetry for you, right?"

"But-"

"Now go away! And make sure to let the door hit your butts on the way out, so I can have a good laugh at your expense!"

_"Hey, Lexaeus didn't say a word in that whole scene."_

_"Guess there's a reason he's called the 'Silent Hero,' eh?"_

_"...I'm not _that_ silent."_

"Ah!" Saïx moans when the emo guy and the Hulk are gone, "What is this world coming to, Demyx? Next they'll be asking me to give munny to orphans, or widows, or the dog pound."

"You sure talk about dogs a lot, boss."

"That's because I'm a werewolf, duh."

_"Why does everyone always make werewolf jokes about Saïx?" Roxas asked._

_"Because moon element + berserker mode + ratty hair = werewolf!" Demyx explained brightly. "See, I'm smart."_

_"No, you're not," someone snorted._

_"What? Yes I am!"_

_"Gotta disagree with you there, Demyx."_

_"Superioooor, everyone's picking on me!"_

_There was a long pause._

_"I think he fell asleep again," Xion observed._

When the clock begins to chime, Demyx happily throws down his pen and swings his threadbare but still trendy coat across his shoulders.

"Huh!" Saïx exclaims, pulling out his pocket watch and frowning at it. "The office clock is two minutes fast."

OF COURSE IT IS. Demyx's face falls, and he has the most adorably sad look as he resumes his seat, but of course Ebenezer Saïx is immune to woobieness.

"Oh well. Even though I'm a big jerk, I'll let you go home early, but you'd better make up that time tomorrow."

"Tomorrow? But tomorrow's Christmas Day!"

"So?"

"So everyone except insane little kids get to sleep in on Christmas Day!"

"Well, I must be an insane little kid at heart, because I am not going to be sleeping in, and neither are you!"

"Aw, come on!"

"Oh...all right; since you're so persuasive, I'll give you tomorrow off. But you get no mission rewards, and you have to wash my stinky laundry, too!"

"But I _always_ wash your stinky laundry! And your dishes, and your floors, and every single bathtub, sink, and toilet in the entire freaking castle..."

_Vexen snorted. "It's your water copies that do the cleaning, not you personally."_

_"You've never made water copies before, have you," Demyx grumbled._

"Well, in that case, you can wash my stinky laundry _and_ sign all my mission reports, since that takes soooo much effort. Now get out, before I bite you like the rabid werewolf I am!"

_"From this point forward, anyone who calls me a werewolf will forfeit five Challenge Sigils," Saïx growled._

_*insert whiny protests here*_

"Okay, I'm going, I'm going!"

Saïx stays extra late at work that night, counting his piles of munny and kibbles.

_"THAT SO DOES NOT COUNT! And we made the movie before your stupid Sigil-stealing rule, anyway!"_

_"Demyx, do you even _have_ any Challenge Sigils?" someone asked dubiously._

_"Of course I don't! Why d'you think I'm falling over myself not to owe any?"_

Then he makes his way through the cold dreary streets and arrives at his cold dreary house. Which is painted pink, because we thought that would be funny. XD

_For the record, Saïx did not even crack a smile._

_However, Organization XIII now had a bigger problem. "Someone wake up the Superior. If he misses his scene, he's gonna make us rewind it and watch it again."_

_There was more than one horrified gasp. "SUPERIOR, WAKE UP."_

_Xemnas did not move or respond in any way._

_"Zexion, let me borrow your lexicon for a second."_

_"I can slam it down myself," the Cloaked Schemer huffed, raising his weapon high in the air._

He goes inside, chews on a bone for dinner, then sits down to do his oh-so-important _paperwork_.

_"The paperwork is actually harder than it looks," Roxas spoke up. Everyone, including Saïx, looked at him in surprise._

_"What? How would you know? Have you DONE Saïx's paperwork?" Demyx asked interestedly._

_"Well, no, but when we-" Roxas broke off when he happened to glance at Saïx and became suddenly convinced that it was indeed possible for one to keel over dead from the sole power of an intensely burning gaze. "We...um...uh...oh, look, we're missing the movie!"_

_"No, we're not, because I paused it," Xigbar said cheerfully, brandishing the remote. "Do continue your interesting story, young Key of Destiny."_

_"Ummmm... Hey, we should all have a contest, and see who can do the mission paperwork the best."_

_Axel slapped his hand over his face. "You really are His Nobody, aren't you."_

_"Huh? Whose Nobody?"_

_Half the Organization suddenly lunged for the remote. "LET'S GET BACK TO WATCHING THE MOVIE, SHALL WE?"_

Suddenly, chills creep down his spine as he hears the clanking of chains and movement on the floors below. He huddles in his chair, a picture of abject terror.

_"Just so you know, Number IX, your next mission will be involving a Leechgrave, an Antlion, and an Infernal Engine, all at the same time."_

_"WHAT?!"_

_"And I am seriously considering voiding your vacation coupon as well."_

_"Oh, come ON!"_

The footsteps and rattling creep across the lower floors, up the stairs, down the hall, and RIGHT THROUGH THE LOCKED DOOR INTO THE ROOM WHERE SAÏX IS WETTING HIS PANTS IN SHEER TERROR!

_"Why is that Dancer wearing a ridiculous white wig?" Xemnas asked, saving Demyx from further punishment._

_"Because it's pretending to be you, Superior."_

_"Oh. ... It does not look like me at all."_

_"I think that goes without saying, sir."_

"Saïx," the apparition whispers in a chilly voice [well, as chilly as Xigbar can get while apparently trying to not burst into laughter], "Saaaaiiiix..."

"Go away! You're scary!"

"Saïx...do you not recognize me? It is I, your old partner, Jacob Xemnas, back from that Void I'm so obsessed with."

"X...Xemnas?"

"I've come to warn you, Saïx. You see these heavy chains I bear? You will be cursed to carry chains just like these for all eternity, unless you issue more vacation days and stop confiscating Xigbar's porn."

_"Axel, what's-?"_

_"Shut up and watch the movie," Axel grumbled._

_Someone else laughed. "Heh, bet you've got a nice collection stashed up by now, eh, Saïx?"_

_"It goes straight into the incinerator," Saïx said shortly._

_"Suuure it does."_

"Never! Because I am a total jerk who loves bossing everyone around just because I have evil yellow eyes and pointy ears!"

_"But Xigbar, _you_ have yellow eyes and pointy ears, too," Xion pointed out in confusion._

_"I have golden butterscotch topaz eyes, not yellow ones," Xigbar said primly._

_"There's a difference?"_

_"Of course there is!"_

_"Xion, don't listen to a word he says," Axel said in exasperation, even as he hastily reached out to stop Roxas from actually _getting up to compare the two_._

"Very well. Then you had better start lifting weights, because you're gonna need those muscles to cart around your chains in the afterlife."

"Wait, Xemnas! Tell me how else I can weasel my way out of this fate, besides not being a control freak about everyone's personal lives!"

"Well, tonight you're going to be visited by three spirits. If you listen to them and do what they say, then this story might have a happy ending."

"For realz?"

"Totally. Well, I guess I'd better get going. Kingdom Hearts gets awful cranky when I'm late for our dinner dates." With that, the ghost disappears, leaving Saïx alone in his cold dreary pink house once again.

He soon goes to bed, but is woken up at 1:00 in the morning by a character who isn't a lesser Nobody for once, since we _finally_ found out where those three disappear to every afternoon. He opens his eyes to see-

_"Hey, Xion, that's you!" Roxas exclaimed. "I mean, the real you, not a Sniper in a black wig or something."_

_"Do I really look that creepy with my hood up?" she gasped in dismay._

_"...Yeah, you kind of do."_

-a creepy hooded figure swathed in black. "Hello," the spirit says, lowering its hood to reveal the face of a cute but very confused-looking little girl. "I'm the Spirit of Christmas Past, but you can call me Poppet?"

"What have you come to show me?" Saïx asks.

[Poppet reads from a piece of paper she is holding.] "What, you think I'm named 'the Spirit of Christmas Past' because I'm gonna show you Kingdom Hearts or something? I'm gonna show you Christmas Past, duh? Take my hand?"

Saïx takes the hand of the still-confused-looking spirit, and the two of them walk to the Hall of Empty Melodies, where a bunch of Snipers and Dancers are dancing. One of the Dancers is wearing a spiky red wig.

_"You did _not_ just make me Scrooge's ex-girlfriend!" Axel burst out._

_"Yeah, we kinda did," Xigbar laughed remorselessly._

"Hey, that's my old boss!" Saïx gasps. "I remember this party! That sulky, pockmarked teenager in the corner is _me_! And over there under the mistletoe, it's...it's Axelbelle!"

_"Xigbar, you and me, boss battle, tomorrow, 6:00 p.m. Demyx, remind me to shut your head in the oven later," Axel growled._

_"Of course I'm not going to remind you to do that! It would hurt!"_

_"Exactly."_

"Oh, Axelbelle...s/he was so lovely back then...oh, I haven't thought about her/him in years!" Saïx and Poppet watch as Axelbelle tries to drag young Saïx under the mistletoe, then manages to get him to dance. Mist wafts over the scene, until we see the young couple in a garden at twilight some time later.

"Dear Saïx," Axelbelle says softly,-

_"Oh, for crying out loud!"_

-"please, I must have your answer. For years I have waited for you, and watched your face grow hard with greed and control freak...ism. Tell me, once and for all: Do you love me? Is your non-heart still true after all this time?"

Young Saïx replies, "Yo, do you think your dad'll be able to salvage his chew toy company, or is he gonna take that new job on the catnip plantation after all?"

"Oh, Saïx, what has that to do with whether or not you love me?"

"Well, my answer's kinda based on how you reply, so..."

"Alas! This is answer enough. You care more about my father's chew toys than you do about me!"

"Well, duh."

The lovely girl/boy/Nobody/thing is sobbing now. "Then farewell forever, O beautiful slayer of my heart...!" Saïx never saw her again.

_"That's it, run, Axelbelle! Run far, far away!"_

_"Axel, you do realize that you're yelling at a Dancer in the TV, right?"_

_"I DON'T CARE."_

"Dude, Xion! I mean, Christmas Past!" Saïx cries, "Don't show me anymore, I can't stand it!"

"All right?" Poppet agrees. "But remember, Saïx, you drove that lovely creature away yourself, and therefore you have only yourself to blame...?"

As the spirit vanishes into the mists of time, Saïx opens his eyes to find himself in his bed once more. "Wah, it was only a dream...man, I gotta lay off the Bacon Bits before bedtime. I think they're giving me indigestion."

However, the blue-haired miser's adventures are far from over!

_*collective groan*_

As the clock strikes 2:00, his room starts getting super-cold. Shivering, Saïx stumbles out of bed to re-light the fire in the grate, but stops _cold_ (LOL) at the sight of a second intruder in his bedchamber. "You!" he shouts.

_The being he shouted at was a Dancer sporting a long, dark blonde wig._

_"What are those unappealing markings on my- I mean, on that lesser Nobody's face?" Vexen demanded._

_"I think those are supposed to be your cheekbones."_

_"What?!"_

_"Oh! You're right, Luxord, I see it now," someone else remarked._

_"My cheekbones are _not_ that gaunt!" Vexen insisted._

_"Sorry, dude, but they kind of are."_

_"Disrespectful amateurs, the lot of you!"_

"What are you doing in my room?" Saïx demands.

"I am the Spirit of Christmas Present, but you may call me Dr. Whinemaster."

_"_Excuse_ me?!"_

"So it wasn't a dream," Saïx gasps in horror.

"Of course not, you incompetent fool! I'm here to show you how much fun everybody manages to have when you're not sticking your big slashed-up nose into our business. Come! We are going to Demyx Cratchit's house."

The spirit yanks Saïx straight through the wall and out into the street, where they pass lots of happy people stuffing their faces with delicious food and wishing each other Merry Christmases. Eventually, they come to a falling-apart shack decorated with seashell/mermaid/dolphin/sailboat/you-get-the-idea ornaments that are NOT tacky, _Xigbar_. "Demyx lives _here_?"

"Yup."

"What a dump."

"Ah, but the treasure is inside."

Eyes kindled with goldlust (_gold_lust, har, see what we did there?), Saïx peers through a window to find Demyx laughing by the fireplace and playing expertly on his wonderful sitar.

_Also visible through the window was a Dancer with a familiarly-styled yellow wig, clapping in time to the beat as another Dancer twirled about with a Sniper in the middle of the floor._

_"You made me your _wife_?" Larxene thundered._

_"Well, just in the movie."_

_"Come here, Demyx, I need to stick these knives up your nostrils."_

_"Ahhh! Xiggy, help!"_

"I don't see any treasure."

"You are looking right at it, you imbecile."

The song finishes, and the merry Cratchit family claps their hands in delight. Demyx takes his wife in his arms and gushes, "Oh, Relena, if you were the real Relena, and not just a Dancer wearing a wig, I'd sweep you up to our bedroom and-"

_Axel swiftly put his left hand over Xion's left ear and his right hand over Roxas's right ear and jerked them close so that their other ears were squashed against his body and they could not hear what was said next. Actually, the sounds of an enraged Larxene chasing the screaming Demyx around the room were so loud that they might not have been able to hear, anyway._

"-but you're not, so I won't," the Demyx onscreen finishes cheerfully. He huggles the Dancer and then calls up the stairs, "Tiny Roxie, come on down! We're about ready to have Christmas dinner."

A figure appears at the top of the stairs: Demyx's adorable but clueless little son, hobbling down on a crutch.

_Rather than a bewigged lesser Nobody, the role of Tiny Roxie was played by Roxas himself, which finally explained that confusing day back when Demyx and Xigbar had not let him and Xion meet Axel for ice cream. "Why does the movie make me look so cute?" Roxas asked in distaste._

_Xion giggled. "But you're always that cute, Roxas," she explained, at the same time Axel mumbled, "Because you're like that all the time."_

_"Huh? I am?"_

"I just love Christmas," Demyx sighs in contentment, "the time of year where people can sing all the Christmas carols they want without having rotten tomatoes or empty Potion bottles thrown at their heads. Now, for our feast!"

"Look at all this...er, wonderful food to eat," Tiny Roxie says doubtfully.

"Dr. Whinemaster," Saïx says, looking shocked, "what the heck kind of messed-up feast is this? That scrawny bird is barely enough to feed one person, much less five! Also, it's purple."

"Yes, I pick up some extra cash by selling my discarded specimens to unscrupulous shopkeepers."

"...Ew."

_"Flaming pants, Roxas, you didn't actually eat that thing, did you?" Axel exclaimed in horror._

_"Well..."_

_"CRAP, NO WONDER YOU GOT SICK, DEMYX I'LL KILL YOU."_

_"But I ate it a couple of weeks ago," Roxas said._

_"Yeah, he ate it _weeks_ ago!" Demyx cried frantically. "You're fine now, aren't ya, little buddy? Guh, can't breathe...Axel, really, I can't breathe...Xiggy, help!"_

"I should probably pay more, so my clerk won't be reduced to buying leftover science experiments for dinner and giving his whole family food poisoning. Hey, Dr. Whinemaster? That Tiny Roxie kid. He's crippled, isn't he? Will he ever get better?"

"If things continue in their current course, I foresee an empty throne Where Nothing Gathers. Perhaps we should let Thirteen in on more of our secrets."

"Oh no! I have to do something to save Tiny Roxie! Dr. Whinemaster, can- Dr. Whinemaster? Where are you? Hello?" He can't see a thing because of all the swirling snow and smoke, but it's pretty obvious that Dr. Whinemaster has disappeared (hooray!). Instead, someone different is looming out of the darkness, shrouded in black like Poppet.

"Is it too much to hope that you're another cute little girl?"

The only response is a sinister nod.

"Poopie. Well, drag me off to wherever you have in mind, so we can get this over with and wrap up filming already. Ugh, I can already tell this thing is going to be a pain to edit..."

The next moment, Saïx finds himself in a tavern, invisible to all the Dancers and Snipers in hooded black coats who are discussing the same topic [all in either Demyx's or Xigbar's voices].

"Didja hear that old Scarface finally got what's comin' to 'im?"

"Aye, that mangy werewolf's done for at last."

"Yay, I don't owe him munny anymore!"

"I snuck in and looted his room - he had a lot of Frisbees for some reason..."

"HAH, I went and burned all my mission reports! Then I got some new forms and filled in all the blanks with Monty Python quotes! That'll show him!"

"Ugh, I can't take anymore of this," Saïx moans. "Christmas Future, is there anyone ANYWHERE in any of the worlds who's sad that I'm dead? Or are all of them glad to get rid of me?"

The Spirit of Christmas Future raises his hand and points ominously, where the scene has changed to a familiar red-wigged Nobody.

_"Nooooo!"_

Axelbelle sobs in a room somewhere, wailing Saïx's name. "Oh my love, now you are truly gone forever!"

_"Axel, why are you banging your head against the back of the couch?"_

_In the movie, another figure entered the scene: a Sniper wearing a Roxas wig and carrying a cardboard Keyblade._

"Hello, Axelbelle. Um, so, now that Saïx is dead, I was wondering if you'd finally be my boyfriend-I-mean-girlfriend."

_"YOU GUYS ARE DISGUSTING."_

Axelbelle immediately cheers up, running over to glomp Roxas. "Okay! Do you want to be seme or uke?"

_"Axel, what's-?"_

_"SHUT UP, ROXAS, SHUT UP _NOW_."_

The couple skips out of the scene arm-in-arm, leaving Saïx desolate. "S/he left me for a _fourteen-year-old_?"

Christmas Future sternly puts his hands on his hips.

"Well, okay, so we broke up ages ago and I should be happy that s/he didn't ruin his/her life because of me, but...still!" Saïx grumbles for a while, pacing restlessly back and forth. "Everyone hates me, they're glad to see me gone...even Axelbelle didn't care enough to miss me once that rooster-headed kid showed up...argh! Is this seriously the only thing I have to look forward to in the future? Because it's lame and I want a refund."

Saïx now notices that they are standing in a dark and spooky graveyard. Not a thing moves except a burly Sniper with long black braids and bushy sideburns, singing to itself as it digs a fresh hole.

_"Ohhh, a sailor's life is the life for me, how I love to sail o'er the bounding sea, and I never never ever do a thing about the weather, for the weather never ever does a thing for me!"_ Xaldin wipes sweat from his brow (I mean, not really, it's just a lesser Nobody, but PRETEND, OKAY?) and tosses down his shovel. "Ah, forget it, I'm takin' a coffee break. It's not like there's anyone around here who'd mind..."

He marches off, leaving Saïx to creep fearfully closer to the tombstone and read the name engraved upon it. "Why - that's _my_ name!" he gasps.

Christmas Future suddenly throws back his hood, revealing the madly grinning face of my partner in crime, Xigbar! His one good eye, craggy features, and jagged scar look positively demonic in the sudden firelight raging in the depths of the open grave. "Sure is, Werewolf Boy!" he whoops, knocking the blue-haired miser into his final resting place with a hearty slap on the back. Saïx descends screaming, sobbing, and begging for mercy-

_"That triple mission I mentioned, Number IX? There won't be treasure chests. And don't expect any mission rewards upon your return, either."_

_"Whaaat?!"_

_"Though I'll make sure there's ten or twenty extra ordeal badges for you to pick up."_

_"You've gotta be _kidding_ me!"_

-but instead of being devoured by hellfire, he instead finds himself struggling with the hopeless tangle of his bed sheets. "I...I'm alive?!"

Indeed he is! Because who would we pick on if Sai-Sai wasn't around? Zexy's too big now, and Vexen's too creepy to be funny, and Superior never gets it and he'd kill us if he did, and Axel turns all Mama Bear on us when we try going after Roxy and Xi, so...

Anyway! Saïx staggers to his window, which is full of early morning sunlight. "The spirits are gone...those awful things haven't actually happened yet...I still have a chance to set things right!" Flinging open the window, Saïx calls down eagerly to the first person he sees, "You there! Boy! What day is it?"

"Day, sir?"

"YES, YOU STUPID MORON! I mean, yes, young one. What is today? I need to know because, um, all my calendars broke."

"Why, it's Christmas Day, sir!"

"Excellent! I shall now run down to dear Demyx's house and give him the whole next month off, as well as 5,000 munny and about 20 slot releasers...oooh, this is going to be so _fun_!"

Saïx is as good as his word. Flying out into the snow wearing nothing more than an old coat thrown over his Power Rangers pajamas and fluffy bunny slippers, he races down the street, tossing a handful of munny orbs into the gambler's begging cup as he passes, and pausing a moment to whip out a pair of scissors and lop off Zexion's hazardous bangs. "Merry Christmas to all!" he cries merrily, blowing a kiss to Axelbelle and hurrying on his way. "My dear Marluxia!" he shouts as he happens to pass his nephew, "Make sure you save some daisies or petunias or whatever for me, I'll be by later on this afternoon! Ha ha ha!"

"I think I'd better add some fruitcake to the list while I'm at it," Marluxia muses.

Saïx makes only two stops on the way, once to buy the biggest, freshest, non-experimental fish he can find at the grocer's, and once to clean out a toy shop. Then, giggling with glee, he arrives at the unsuspecting Cratchits' house. After taking a moment to get hold of himself, Saïx knocks on the door, putting on his frownyface again.

Demyx flings the door wide, smiling warmly, but then yelps and slams it shut again when he sees who's outside.

"Demyx! _Demyx_!" Saïx shouts, pounding on the door again. "Open up before I have my Berserker thugs break in!"

When the door opens again, it's actually Relena Cratchit standing there. "Hello, Mr. Saïx," she says. "I'm afraid that my dear husband-"

_"Ow!"_

"-who I adore with all my shrewish heart-"

_"OW!"_

"-has run away to hide."

"Hmph." Saïx barges in and glares around the room. The two older Cratchit kids cringe away in terror. After a very long pause, Tiny Roxie, who's apparently a bit dense as well as crippled, blinks and scoots his chair back too, though his face doesn't change at all.

"Hmph!" Saïx stomps upstairs and drags down the man of the house. "Now, prepare yourself, Demyx Cratchit! I'm here to give you what you deserve!"

"Oh, no, please don't!"

"You can't stop me, Demyx! I _will_ give you what you deserve, and it's...!"

There is another very long, expectant pause. Finally, Demyx looks over his shoulder and says meaningfully, "Kids, why don't you check out that big suspicious bag Mr. Saïx here just brought in?"

At the mention of his name, Saïx turns to look at the children as well, swaying uncertainly.

"Huh?" the youngest child says intelligently.

"You know. The bag of _you-know-whats_. Maybe you'd better check inside."

Realization dawns. Tiny Roxie gets out of his chair and walks over to the bag (totally forgetting to hobble or even bring his crutch, the little doof), then pauses. "Wait, I thought you said to dig through the bag when that Saïx-thing wasn't looking."

_"Roxas, you are a _terrific_ actor," Axel murmured._

_"Really? Thanks."_

_"Are you acquainted with the term 'sarcasm,' Number XIII?" Zexion asked conversationally._

_"Um...not really. Axel, what's-?"_

_"YOU KNOW WHAT, we _really_ shouldn't be interrupting the movie, ha ha ha!"_

"Argh!" Demyx grabs the Dancer-Saïx by the arm and yanks it the other way. "There, he's not looking."

"Okay." Tiny Roxie digs through the bag and pulls out a teddy bear. "Look, a toy."

"That's right," Saïx says, "you deserve toys! I mean, not toys, a promotion! Congratulations, you're my new boss."

_"X-Xiggy...oh, help, Xig, his eyes, his eyes are burning me...!"_

"Really? Yay! Didja hear that, Relena? I'm in charge of the Organization now!"

The Spirit of Christmas Future randomly warps into view, crossing his arms meaningfully.

"Well, okay, you can be the shadow ruler, Xig."

C.F. nods in satisfaction and disappears again.

_"Geez, you two," Axel complained. "_I'm_ the one who'll be losing beauty sleep whenever those 'Eliminate the traitors' orders come in. Didn't your mothers teach you to be considerate?"_

_"Ah, you know we're just joking," Xigbar said, waving his hand dismissively._

_"Superior, we LOVE you," Demyx gushed. "You're the best Organization boss ever, and we'd NEVER try to overthrow you for realz!"_

_"Don't bother. He's asleep again."_

_Onscreen, Tiny Roxie had grasped the teddy bear in both hands and was waving it up and down, apparently under the impression that this was how a normal child would play with it._

"Oh, what a wonderful Christmas this is!" Demyx goes on rapturously. "Lots of real food, toys for my cute little kids - Roxas, you're holding that teddy bear upside down..._there_ ya go, buddy! - and the chance to make a living by slacking off for the rest of my days...it's just perfect! Having you for a new pal is just icing on the cake, Sai."

He slings his arm around Saïx, who laughs. "I have so much to thank those wonderful spirits for! I'm going to be a lot nicer from now on."

"Atta boy," Demyx says cheerfully. He gestures at the children. "Hit it, Tiny Roxie!"

Tiny Roxie gives him a strange look and knocks his fist against the teddy bear's head.

"No, I meant your line!"

Tiny Roxie sighs, digs the script out of his pocket, and raises his fist again.

"_No_! You're supposed to _say the line_ now, Roxas."

"Oh." Tiny Roxie raises his head and announces, "God bless us, every one."

Directed by: Demyx the Melodious Nocturne

Producer: Xiggy

Screenplay: Xiggy & Demyx the Melodious Nocturne, based on the book by Charles Dickens. Kind of.

CAST

(in order of appearance)

DEMYX THE MELODIOUS NOCTURNE as The Narrator, the voice of Saïx (and young Saïx), Relena, Roxas, and other random voices; and Demyx Cratchit

DANCER #1 as Ebenezer Saïx

SNIPER #1 as Luxord the beggar

SNIPER #s 2, 3, & 4 as the other beggars

XIGGY as the voice of Luxord the beggar, Marluxia, Xemnas's ghost, Axelbelle, Dr. Whinemaster, Xaldin, the Boy Who Says "It's Christmas Day," and other random voices; and the Spirit of Christmas Future

DANCER #2 as Saïx's niece-I-mean-nephew Marluxia

SNIPER #s 5 & 6 as Lexaeus the Silent Charity Guy

DANCER #3 as Zexion the Perilously Long-haired Charity Emo

DANCER #4 as the ghost of Jacob Xemnas

XION as Poppet, the very confused Spirit of Christmas Past

Lots of random DANCERS and SNIPERS as the partygoers

DANCER #5 as Axelbelle

DANCER #6 as young Ebenezer Saïx

DANCER #7 as Dr. Whinemaster, the Spirit of Christmas Present

Random DANCERS and SNIPERS as random people

DANCER #8 as Relena Cratchit

DANCER #9 as Cratchit Kid #1

SNIPER #7 as Cratchit Kid #2

ROXAS as Tiny Roxie

SNIPER #8 as Roxas

SNIPER #9 as Xaldin the Singing Gravedigger

SNIPER #10 as the Boy Who Says "It's Christmas Day" (except that he doesn't actually SAY "It's Christmas Day" because he's a Sniper and can't talk to anyone except the other lesser Nobodies and Xiggy)

No Nobodies were harmed in the making of this movie, except Roxas when he ate that purple chicken we stole from Vexen, but we fed him a Panacea and he got better.

This is a work of fiction. All similarities to any real persons, living, dead, partial, mixed-and-matched, or non-existent, is entirely coincidental. ENTIRELY.

The makers of this film would like to thank Lord Xemnas, who didn't get mad at us for wrecking the castle while filming; all the Dusks who cleaned up after us when we broke things; Axel, who didn't kill us that time we kidnapped Roxas and Xion before they made it to their ice cream date with him; Saïx, who totally understands that this was all a joke and we were just teasing and we still love him, kind of, actually not really since we don't have hearts; Vexen, who won't make us pay him back for the chicken because we have no intention of doing so anyway; Xiggy, just 'cuz you're my awesome homeboy; DEMYX THE MELODIOUS NOCTURNE, cuz I'm even awesomer; and last but not least, to all the wonderful Dancers and Snipers who dedicated themselves to this project. We couldn't have done it without you, sweeties!

This has been a Production That Never Was.

o.o.o

No one commented on the credits, because they were all too busy ranting, sleeping, furiously chasing Demyx and/or Xigbar around the room, or bemoaning the approximately 45 minutes of their non-existences which had just been utterly wasted.

"I lost so many brain cells!" Vexen wailed. "I can _feel_ it! They're gone! They were there before, and now they're _gone_!"

"Roxas. Xion," Axel said sternly. "As soon as the stores re-open tomorrow, I am going to buy you these magical things called cell phones. The next time you're running late to the clock tower or won't be able to make it, CALL ME, or I _will_ come looking for you."

"Okay," Xion agreed.

"Axel, I think Destiny peed on me."

_To be continued..._

Author's Notes: I admit that the credits were pretty fun, but the rest of it, blaaaaaaargh. Though the current version of the chapter is actually lots better than the initial draft that I wrote back in August or September 2011, so you can imagine what the first draft must have been like. SO MUCH RE-WRITING, I might have given myself a concussion from headdesking so much.

Although I did re-read the Dickens novella for the sake of this chapter, most of it was inspired by the Disney version.

**The "golden butterscotch topaz" stuff is how Cleolinda Jones pokes fun at Stephenie Meyer's descriptions of Edward Cullen's eyes. :p**

_Otomen_ - not the most amazing manga ever, but it's still pretty cute.

**I was making ZERO attempt to portray actual emo culture, just so you know. Purely going off of stereotypes, and I'm sure I even got the stereotypes wrong.**

Lol, because I know someone or other's gonna ask:

Xemnas - Humus

Xigbar - Dig More

Xaldin - Whoosh

Vexen - Fox Den

Lexaeus - Leeks

Zexion - Sedge

Saïx - Aphid Nymph (though it changes to something else in my second "Fire & Moonlight" drabble)

Axel - Nice (explanation in next chapter)

Demyx - Insects

Luxord - Sward

Marluxia - Marsh

Larxene - Zap

Roxas - Rocks

Xion - Sea Foam


	12. and a set of really sharp cutlery!

**Christmas at the Castle, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic by Raberba girl**

**Chapter 12 - ...and a set of really sharp cutlery!**

A/N: **Chapter of Awkward, Round 2.**

For the record, Demyx's punishment-mission is most likely gonna get passed on to Roxas, just like all his other not-easy missions do. :p

o.o.o

By the time Axel had lent Roxas a pair of jeans, Roxas had changed into them, and Xion had pinned up the hems so they weren't dragging on the floor, the trio (and their new pets) returned to find that the party was beginning.

Luxord was helping Zexion arrange food on the dining room table, which had been pushed up against one wall. Having apparently survived the fallout from the movie viewing, Demyx had started yet another blaring Christmas playlist. He was trying, with dubious success, to explain to a couple of his Dancers how to run the sound system. Xigbar led the Superior around the room, feeding him totally false information with a straight face.

"...and as for Christmas trees, the tradition started when people used to believe in creatures called candy cane fairies, so they would bring trees into their houses and decorate them in hopes of attracting the fairies, who would then drop prizes when they came to investigate."

"I see," Xemnas intoned, frowning. "Are these candy cane fairies in possession of hearts?"

"Um - assuming they're real, let's say...no, they're not."

"What a purposeless endeavor, then."

"Heh, well, wait 'til you hear about something called ice skating..."

Xaldin was polishing his lances with the Christmas present he had gotten from Roxas; Vexen was interrogating Maruhana and eagerly taking notes on the talking flower's natural environment and living habits; Lexaeus was starting to put together his new moai puzzle with Marluxia; and Larxene had just picked up the stack of mission reports Saïx was working on, tossing them through a dark corridor before he could stop her.

"So, what do you guys want to do?" Axel asked, turning away from the resulting boss battle.

He should have known better. Roxas and Xion simply stared at him blankly.

"Do you want to eat, play karaoke or DDR with Demyx, work on the jigsaw puzzle, take sides in the Saïx vs. Larxene battle, play with the puppy, or use those brains I hope you were born with to think of a different way to pass the time?"

"Play with Destiny," they decided. So they petted and cooed at and wrestled with the dog, and Axel taught them how to play fetch, and when that annoyed too many of the other members ("If that _creature_ comes near me again, I'll schedule it for dissection!"), they got a bunch of food to use as treats and tried to teach the puppy tricks. Destiny was much more cooperative than Bomb, who seemed more interested in exploring the room and leaving claw marks on Axel's pants. The kids got as far as coaxing Destiny to flop over on his side and gaze at them adoringly in response to the word "Sit" before they started nibbling on the reward treats themselves.

"Man, it is way past lunch time," Axel realized. "Go get some stuff from the snack table."

"Okay," Roxas said absently. Five minutes later, he was tickling Destiny's wriggling belly and showing no sign of going to obtain nutrients. Axel finally rolled his eyes, scooped the kitten back into his pocket, and got up to do it himself.

That was when he noticed some odd things going on. The horrible wailing in the karaoke corner turned out to be from Zexion and, of all people, _Lexaeus_, who were unashamedly belting out the lyrics to some pop song that was big in Twilight Town right now. Demyx accompanied them on his sitar and provided slightly less headache-inducing background vocals. All three were flushed and appeared to be enjoying themselves far more than was healthy, and frequently interrupted each other to slurp from plastic cups that had been clustered on a table nearby.

Vexen and Luxord were slapping down cards in a pile at a furious rate, shrieking in either outrage or triumph whenever a Jack appeared, and then taking the opportunity to down some more punch (or whatever was in those cups). Larxene, her eyes sparkling with mischief, was crooning at Xigbar as she gave him a shoulder massage. He was flirting back and making visible efforts to keep his hands away from a cup of probably-not-punch. Xaldin was sitting on a couch, glaring straight ahead as he swallowed cup after cup. Xemnas and Saïx were practically draped over the punch bowl, taking turns scooping the contents into their own plastic cups and apparently trying to collaborate on a rap song about "masterless hearts" and "the dark void where Nothing dwells."

Only Marluxia seemed to be acting normal, hanging out with Maruhana and surveying the scene with a look of great satisfaction. As Axel watched, Larxene gave Xigbar a last pat and then went over to confer gleefully with the Graceful Assassin, so that Axel realized she was in on it, too.

"Hm..." Axel went back to the oblivious kids. "Oi, Roxas, Xion. Let's go make...uh..." It was hard to think of something that was not already available on the snack table. "...Spaghetti. Let's go make spaghetti for lunch."

"Huh? Why?"

"Because I just feel like spaghetti today." Axel scooped up Destiny and strode off to the kitchen, knowing that the kids were sure to follow their new pet. As soon as they were inside, Axel shut the door and said in a low, urgent voice, "Guys, _do not eat anything _from the snack table. I think Marluxia and Larxene are up to something, it looks like they've drugged the rest of the Organization."

"Huh?"

Axel went around piling a pot, a muffin pan, a package of noodles, some cans of tomato sauce, a box of cake mix, and all the other stuff they would need on the counter. He flipped a cookbook to the spaghetti recipe and handed it to Xion. "Here, you guys get started, I'm gonna go check things out. And we're making cupcakes, too, but don't eat them yet. I have an idea." He leaned down and playfully shook his finger at the curious Destiny. "You keep out of the food, 'kay?"

Then he went back out into the danger zone. Marluxia and Larxene were now wandering around, sweetly offering everyone refills, so Axel was able to casually sidle up to Maruhana. "'Sup, Hana."

"Hello, Nice." (Following the plant's discovery of Axel's element, it had taken a week of dedicated coaxing from Roxas and Xion, since flowers were apparently immune to Puppy Eyes, before Maruhana finally decided that the fire lord was a nice person and not Evil Incarnate.)

"Oi, Hana. Got a question for you. You know your new friend, Marluxia?"

"Marsh loves flowers. He loves me."

"Great. Hey, so, did he or the woman with the yellow petals do anything to the, er, water supply?"

"Yes," Maruhana answered matter-of-factly. "They mixed in some mushroom spit. I am not sure whose, though."

Axel took a second to decipher this from flower language to human language. "You mean they spiked the punch with something?"

"...What?"

"What?" Axel shook his head. "Okay, obviously the punch is a lost cause, but did they mess with any of the other food?"

"What food?"

Axel waved his hand at the snack table. "All that colorful stuff. It's human food."

"Oh. No. Just the pink water."

"Okay. Thanks, Hana." _'Man,'_ he added to himself as he walked away. _'If this is you neophytes' plan to take over the Organization, it's gonna need some work...'_ Axel went back to the kitchen, where he found the kids munching on cinnamon twists. "Oi! Way to spoil your appetites, you doofs!"

They grinned at him sheepishly. "We were hungry."

"Which is why you're supposed to be cooking spaghetti." Axel shook his head. "Okay, Roxas, you hold down the fort. Xion, I need your help with something."

"Me?"

The two of them sneaked into Vexen's room, where she pointed out the items he was looking for. He took out Bomb and handed the kitten to Xion in order to make room for the vials in his pockets. "Soooo cuuute," Xion cooed. "Who's a cute kitty, _whoooo's_ a cute kitty?"

Bomb mewed in a preening sort of way, rubbing his tiny face against her fingers.

"Squee over the cat later, we've got some cupcakes to spike."

Roxas was heavily splattered with tomato sauce when they got back, which nearly gave Axel a non-heart attack before he realized that his friend was just the victim of his own cooking incompetence rather than, say, Larxene. Axel got that mess sorted out and then started on the cupcakes, as the spaghetti bubbled away in its pot. "Gah, Xion, get Bomb outta that cake mix bag, he's gonna suffocate."

Roxas went to go change clothes yet again, this time to his tin soldier costume since he was running out of options. (It was either that or the Mickey Mouse shirt.) When he came back, Xion was happily beating the cupcake batter in a mixing bowl, and Axel was slumped in a chair, too tired to care that Destiny was chewing on his shoelaces.

Xion giggled. "You look kind of silly wearing that outfit here in the castle, Roxas."

"Your face looks silly." Roxas came over and peeked into the spaghetti pot. "Is it ready?"

"No," Axel mumbled.

"When will the cupcakes be ready?"

"After the spaghetti."

"Can I go out there and get something from the snack table?"

"No."

"But you told me to earlier."

"Circumstances have changed."

"Can I have another cinnamon twist?"

"No."

"Well, I'm going to eat one, anyway," Roxas decided, and pulled another one out of the bag. It burst into flames. "Yow!" He dropped it, then hurriedly held Destiny back when the puppy came romping over to investigate. "Stay away from fire, Destiny, it's bad."

"It is not bad," Axel huffed. "Just depends on how you use it."

Since Destiny was already in his arms, Roxas hugged the puppy close and rubbed his face against its fur. So, so, so, so, _so, so, so SOFT_!

"Oi, clean that up."

"You're the one who set it on fire."

"It's your fault I had to in the first place."

When the spaghetti was ready, the kids shoveled it into their mouths as if they hadn't eaten in a week. Axel himself only nibbled absently, more interested in the cupcakes. He got Xion to help him mix the right amounts of Vexen's potions into pink and yellow icing, which he then sculpted into inviting flower and lightning shapes.

"_Don't_," he said sharply when Roxas reached for one. "Trust me, you don't want these. Go eat another cinnamon roll or something." Axel took the tray of cupcakes and carefully dark corridored them onto the snack table in the dining room.

Then, at long last, they were ready to rejoin the festivities. Xion opened the kitchen door first and then just stopped dead, staring. Axel, coming up behind her, swore and clapped both hands over her eyes, but not in time to rescue her from being scarred for life. "In the name of all that's non-existent, put some freaking _pants_ on, Xemnas!" he shouted. "There are ladies present!"

"Some ladies don't mind a bit," Larxene called merrily from where she was running a video camera. "Mm-_mm_, our Superior's a fine one."

"In the dark where Nothing dwells," Xemnas intoned as he stood on a table, presenting a completely unobscured view of a certain Keyblade wielder's magnificent body, "the Void will take all hearts, and from out of darkness, Kingdom Hearts shall rise again."

"Hear, hear," Luxord called drunkenly, downing another cup. Vexen was already passed out beside him.

"Fee cheers fa Hindon Karts!" Demyx giggled, overbalancing himself and toppling back into the Silent Hero's arms.

Lexaeus snuggled him. "Kitty," he mumbled sleepily.

Axel shoved Xion safely back into the kitchen and slammed the door. "Roxas, find Xemnas's coat," he ordered. "Larxene! Marluxia! What the heck!"

"Thirsty?" Marluxia suggested with a grin, holding out a cup of punch.

"No, thanks, I think I'll pass," Axel snapped.

"Hmph." Larxene bit into a lightning frosted cupcake as she surveyed Axel with calculating disdain. "Aren't you a _clever_ one. We're gonna have to figure out something different for you, but that shouldn't be hard."

"Hey, as long as you keep the kids out of it, I'm all for this Take Over the Organization thing. But seriously? Letting Xemnas flash everyone when Xion's around?"

"Ah, she'll get over it," Larxene said dismissively.

Axel went and opened the kitchen door. "Xion? You okay?"

The poor girl had not yet recovered from her Blue Screen Of Death. "It's like...an elephant, a...furry elephant..."

Axel hastily shut the door again. "_See_?!"

Meanwhile, Roxas was patiently following Xemnas around the room, holding the man's coat and trying to coax him to put it on. "Come on, Superior, it's cold in here. You've got goosebumps. Don't you want to put your clothes back on?"

"There is no feeling in the void of nothingness," Xemnas announced, before raising his cup to gulp more punch. Roxas seized the opportunity to try to fling the coat over him, but the drunken silver-haired Nobody pulled off a Reversal to avoid it. Since he _was_ drunk, he promptly fell down right afterwards. He stared at the ceiling, looking as if he was wondering how he had ended up on the floor, then shrugged and swallowed the last few drops remaining in his cup.

Roxas retrieved the dropped coat and, with Axel's help, wrestled the Superior of the In-Between into it, who fell asleep before they were finished.

"Well done," Marluxia laughed, eating the last of his pink flower cupcake. He licked his fingers and reached for another one.

Hiding a smile, Axel got Xemnas propped on a couch, and was startled when someone suddenly grabbed him. He looked over to find Saïx sobbing into the back of his neck. "Leaaa, I miss youuu...!"

"Oh, great."

Just then, a dark portal opened in the middle of the room, admitting Xion. "Oh - so everyone's still here."

Axel stared at her. "Xion? Are you...all right now?"

She held up her hand. "I just drank from a bottle of Lethe water Vexen brought back from his last trip to the Coliseum. I don't remember anything that happened in the last fifteen minutes, so whatever it was, it must have been pretty bad. Please don't tell me what it was."

"...Roger that."

"What this party needs is some poker!" Luxord was yelling. "Who's willing to take me on?"

"Me." Xigbar crawled over, deliberately knocking over Luxord's cup as he did. "Must...stop...drinking punch..."

"I forgot the real 'Jingle Bells'!" Demyx screamed. "All I remember is the Batman Smells version!"

Larxene, her eyes glazed, stalked over and shoved Demyx onto a couch, climbing on top of him as she did so.

"Axel?" Roxas said in alarm, "what's she doing to him?"

"She...it's like she's _eating_ his _face_!" Xion cried in horror.

"Don't worry, he seems to be enjoying it," Axel said dryly. "Oi," (this was to Saïx) "get off me, will you?"

"I've - been - so - _mean_ to you!" Saïx wailed. "What kind of friend am I?"

"Oh, are we still friends? News to me."

"I cared more about toppling Xemnas than I did you!"

"Saïx, I know you're drunk or high or whatever, but that sounded kind of..."

"Will you be my friend again if I'm nice to your puppet?" Saïx sniffled.

"...Isa, I really cannot deal with this right now..."

"What's that thing under her tank top that he's trying to unhook?" Roxas was asking.

"They're called bras." Xion put her hands over his eyes. "Don't look. It's not nice."

"Demyx is looking."

"Well..."

Axel marched over, with Saïx dragging along behind him, and threw a spare tablecloth over the couch and its occupants.

"Axel?"

"Please, please, _please_ don't ask..."

"You look like you need a flower!" Marluxia popped up, all sparkling-eyed and beaming from whatever had been in the cupcakes. "Turn that frown upside-down!" He tucked a dahlia behind Axel's left ear and a tulip behind his right, then went on sticking flowers into every pocket and empty button-hole he could find. There were a lot of them.

"Enough already!" It was a good thing Maruhana appeared to have fallen asleep, since the last thing Axel needed on top of everything else was a freaked-out plant.

Zexion, meanwhile, had come up and seized both of Roxas's hands in his. "I'm gonna say it! I don't care if you're not the real Ventus, I'm gonna say it anyway! Thank you!"

"Uh...what?"

"I thought Master would be so proud of me," Zexion lamented, sitting down and hugging Roxas to his chest like a sad little boy with a teddy bear. "Master wanted an Unversed of his very own to study, so I went out to catch one, but there were so many and they were really cute with the glowy eyes and they bit me and then you came along and hit them. Thank you."

"...You're welcome?" Roxas looked at Xion for help, but she just shrugged in confusion.

"All this time, I wanted to tell you something," Zexion went on pleadingly. "Thank you." He paused. "Did I say that already?"

"Yes."

"Oh. Thank you. You're nice."

Axel finally dark corridored away from both Saïx and the growing pile of flowers, causing both the berserker and the excess blossoms to drop to the floor. He firmly tugged Roxas out of Zexion's arms, made sure Bomb was in his pocket, clipped a leash on Destiny, and grabbed the kids' hands. "Roxas, Xion, get your coats. We are leaving this loony bin to its own devices and spending the rest of the afternoon in Christmas Town, where people _actually know how to celebrate Christmas_."

"What if they accidentally blow up the castle or something while we're gone?"

"Well, we're just gonna have to take our chances, then."

The three of them (five, if you counted the pets) passed the subsequent hours most pleasantly, playing in the snow and saying "Same to you!" every time someone wished them a Merry Christmas, and partaking of pies and candies and apple cider. At one point, Roxas and Xion even caught sight of a large figure in red coming out to the town square, hailed by a whole crowd of cheering elves.

"It's _Santa_!" Xion screamed. She and Roxas took off immediately, with Destiny yipping at their heels, before Axel could stop them. He sighed, found a bench, and took Bomb out to cuddle with as he waited.

Santa Claus had just finished his annual post-delivery Christmas Day speech when he caught sight of two older children (and a dog) amongst all the elves. Their names automatically came to his mind, though there was an odd lag, as if they had recently changed their birth names. "Ho ho ho!" he boomed in his jolly way. "Roxas and Xion, is it? Come, let's make way for our special guests." The elves parted good-naturedly, giving the young Nobodies room to make their way nervously up to the old man. He smiled at them. "Well, now. Have you been good children this year?"

"Um..."

"Can you check?" Xion asked breathlessly. "Can you look us up on your List?"

"Hm, let's see." He ran his finger down the names. "Oh dear," he murmured. "Roxas, it says here that there was a very small young lady in distress whom you failed to give aid to, even after she had granted you a precious gift."

Roxas dropped his head. "I _knew_ I should've followed her to that ship..."

"And me?" Xion said anxiously.

Santa Claus found her name and smiled at her. "Here you are on the Nice List, my dear."

Xion gasped in delight, "Oh, I'm so happy!"

Santa frowned. "Now, why do I not recall leaving a gift for you this year? I know I didn't miss any of my usual stops..."

"We live in the World That Never Was," Xion explained. "Axel said that you don't go there because we're all heartless monsters."

"Oh," Santa realized. "No, it's because I can't visit a world that doesn't exist, you see." He chuckled. "And besides, since all the inhabitants of that world are always scheduled for coal, anyway, it's more cost-effective to pass over it altogether. You must be a new addition, my dear."

"Yes, I only joined recently."

"Ah, that explains it. Xion, it seems I owe you a Christmas gift. Why don't you reach into the bag here and pick one?"

Eagerly, Xion drew out a small wrapped box, which she opened as Roxas watched over her shoulder. Inside rested a pair of jingle bell earrings and the Decisive Pumpkin Keychain. "Ohhh, they're wonderful! Thank you, Santa!" She hugged him, then generously gave the Keychain to Roxas, who wondered for the first time if Xion was perhaps a nicer person than him.

Over on the bench, Axel smiled as the kids suddenly turned around and made a beeline for him. Xion in particular seemed to be glowing. "How was it?" he asked as they came panting up to him.

"Santa wants to meet you, Axel!"

Axel blinked. "What?" Xion snatched Bomb out of his hands, and then they seized his arms and hauled him to his feet. "Hey, let go!" He resisted every step of the way as they dragged him into the center of the square, but did not escape via a dark corridor because that would have been running away, and the Flurry of Dancing Flames was not a coward. He might be having sudden flashbacks to all the stupid, stupid, _stupid_ things he had done as a kid, but he was _not_ a coward.

"Hm... Lea, is it?"

"Yes, sir," Axel mumbled, shooting death glares at the kids.

"As I recall," Santa said sternly, "you're the young scamp from Radiant Garden who set out a mousetrap for me when you were five, drugged my cookies when you were six, rigged a booby trap in the chimney when you were seven, invented a reindeer snare when you were eight-"

"Yeah, fine, that's me. Isa helped with the last two." Roxas and Xion were staring at him as if they had suddenly discovered that he was the Organization's assassin. Humiliating as this was, it was ten times better than that alternative. He did not yet have the guts to be able to look into their clear blue eyes and see the realization that he was even more of a monster than he pretended to be.

"Hm," Santa said doubtfully. "I must say, the chances are pretty low, but I ought to check all the same..."

"Trust me, my name's not gonna be on the Nice List. Ever."

The old man stared at his list for a long time. "Now, this is interesting," he murmured thoughtfully.

Axel tensed.

"There's a footnote here on the Naughty List that says you befriended a couple of lonely children and took care of them when no one else would." He looked back at the young man, who glanced away.

"A couple of lonely children?" Xion wondered. "You'd think we'd have met them by now..."

"So," Roxas asked, "does that mean that Axel gets a present, or not?"

"Lea." The patient old man waited until Axel reluctantly met his eyes again. "If you could have anything in the worlds, what would it be?"

"A bar of sea-salt ice cream."

"Come now, Lea."

"You're Santa Claus," he mumbled. "There's no way you wouldn't know."

Santa nodded. "Two children, two hours. That seems fair, wouldn't you say?"

Green eyes widened. "You can't mean...two hours of...?" His chest was already beginning to hurt, and he laid a hand over his own heart without thinking.

"Well, of course it's not the real thing, but the connection is still there. I can at least manage a reasonable imitation. Enjoy the rest of your stay in Christmas Town," the master elf told the children. Then he moved away towards his workshop with elves trailing in his wake, listening to their reports with his usual good humor.

Axel staggered, the pain in his chest becoming unbearable as he was overcome with the worst heartache he could ever remember experiencing in his life.

"Axel!" Roxas and Xion had hold of him, their eyes huge with panic. "Axel, are you okay? What's wrong?"

Grief for the father who had died protecting him, once-forgotten resentment toward the second man who had married his mother...the loss of his vibrant little brother and sisters and the horror of watching his homeworld fall to pieces, the agony of losing his heart to darkness; all the guilt and wretchedness and betrayal, the disgust and loneliness that had been missing from the long years afterward...it all came crashing down on Axel like a hundred heavy blows, and he thought, not for the first time, that they were absolute _idiots_ for trying so desperately to regain these horrific burdens called hearts.

A little later, Axel would remember that there had been joy as well as sorrow. Soon, he would get up and be perfectly capable of bouncing around Christmas Town with the kids like the ridiculous fools they all were; soon, he would be able to rejoice in this precious gift that had been granted him, this brief time where he felt whole again.

Yet for now, it was a struggle to even remain conscious as he knelt there in the snow and cried his heart out.

_To be concluded..._

Author's Notes: This story was written long before Dream Drop Distance came out.

Erm...not a lot of thought went into Marly & Larxene's Evil Plan, even though I'd planned it right from the first chapter. But I needed their votes, and deliberate OOCness is fun to write, so I went with it.

People who've read the Rurouni Kenshin manga might have recognized a certain quote from the Misao vs. Kamatari battle that was rather in bad taste...

I belatedly noticed that Axel is the only member of Organization XIII who was never under the influence in this fic. *sweatdrop*

I never did find a place to include this except in Infamousplot's giftfic which I haven't posted yet, but **Xion moved her stuff back to Axel's room before Larxene could kick her out.** Speaking of Larxene...and, um, Demyx...as far as I'm concerned, they fell asleep before they could get too far, but I had to change the wording to sound more ambiguous. *sweatdrop*


	13. Also, a giant key

**Christmas at the Castle, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic by Raberba girl**

**Chapter 13 - Also, a giant key.**

Saïx woke up a little after midnight. He frowned, since he had the uncomfortable sense that something was wrong.

Sitting up in bed, he was greeted by an ecstatic Chi, who repeatedly jumped at his chest and licked his neck, since she was too small to reach his face.

"It's all right now, pretty girl," he crooned, stroking her fur a few times and then tucking her under his arm. He got up and studied his room. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, except that Chi's water needed to be changed and her food dispenser, though by no means empty, was much less full than he was in the habit of leaving it. "What is the date?" he asked one of his Berserkers uncertainly.

_"December 26th,"_ was the answer.

"Hm..." Yes, something _was_ wrong here. What had happened to Christmas afternoon? The last thing he remembered, he had been forced to watch that wretched movie, then he had tried to get some paperwork done before Larxene had ruined things, and he had gone to get a drink after the battle, but...things were sort of fuzzy after that. He had the very uncomfortable feeling that he might have made a fool of himself in public with either Xemnas or Axel, or maybe even both of them. And he had _no_ idea how he had gotten back to his room.

"Let's go for a walk, sweetie," he suggested. "Did the Berserkers take you out?" She yipped at him. "Well, we'll try again, just in case. Be a good girl and don't make any noise." He put Chi into his backpack and then ventured out into the Proof of Existence, which was dead silent.

The castle halls were cold and empty, and his footsteps echoed eerily. The dining room, when he got a chance to check, looked the same as it had on Christmas Eve. "Hm..." Via the Dusks, he discovered that everyone was asleep in their rooms except Axel, who seemed to be missing. "See if he's still onworld," Saïx commanded, then went to the Grey Area.

The sight of the heart-shaped moon relaxed him as it always did, giving renewed focus and clarity to his thoughts. He took out Chi and showed her the present he had received from Number XIII.

She _loved_ it. The little dog pounced happily on the chew toy, growling and snarling and trying to seize it in her teeth and yank it away from him as he dangled it invitingly before her face.

The playful snarls and violent squeaking were so loud that Saïx did not even detect the footsteps approaching behind him. He flinched at the unexpected sound of Axel's incredulous chuckle. "No _wonder_ you didn't have a problem with the Christmas pets, you naughty rule-breaker."

"Where have you been?" Saïx grumped, picking up Chi and holding her protectively against his chest.

"Confiscating Marluxia and Larxene's pathetic takeover attempt."

Saïx looked over to find Axel proudly brandishing a couple of cameras.

"...What's on there?"

"Some really, _really_ good stuff," Axel said with relish. "Hopefully no one will remember much, and I got the Dusks to clean up the dining room and put everyone to bed, but if anyone ever causes trouble in the future..."

"...Axel..."

"Yeah?"

"...Some of those recordings are of me, aren't they."

Axel smiled and twirled the cameras. Saïx knew that if he tried to grab them, they would be instantly out of his reach, dark corridored off to where he would never be able to find them again. "I hope you have not forgotten that we're partners," he said icily instead.

"If I were you, Sai," Axel said sweetly, "I'd be very nice to me."

Chi finally noticed Bomb's head sticking out of Axel's pocket, and began struggling to get to him. The kitten hissed, puffing up so that Axel had a hard time digging him out. "Oi, Bomb, calm down-" He paused. "Hey, what's your little friend's name?"

"...Chi."

Axel blinked. "Chi?" A smile began to spread over his face. "Because she's a Chihuahua? Oh, Sai, that is so _lame_!"

"Says the idiot who named his cat 'Bomb,'" Saïx snapped back.

"Good strong name." Axel held the agitated little ball of fluff out to Chi, who sniffed it curiously. Then she gave the kitten an enthusiastic lick, causing Bomb to stop hissing in surprise.

"Ironic, huh," Axel murmured. "Me with my kitty and you with your little dog..."

"You're a sentimental fool, Axel."

"Funny, isn't it? Seeing as how I don't have a heart to be sentimental with." He set Bomb on the floor, and Saïx released Chi. She yipped happily and settled down with Bomb between her front paws to lick his head in a motherly fashion. The kitten submitted with only perfunctory resistance, his cute little glare belied by a purr rumbling in his throat.

Saïx, watching them, blinked in surprise when Axel suddenly waved a package under his nose. "What's this?"

"It's Christmas. What do you think it is?"

"...I didn't get anything extra for you."

"I know. I don't care. Open it anyway."

Saïx slowly took the package. It turned out to contain a pair of earrings shaped like pale blue ice cream bars. "You're insane if you think I would ever wear these."

"Heh, I _dare_ you to."

"What are you, ten years old?"

"What are you, forty?"

Saïx shook his head. "We've got a job to do. We shouldn't be wasting time on such foolishness."

"Man, you're so boring."

Saïx looked at Axel.

"You act just like our old history teacher sometimes."

"...Fukagawa-sensei."

Axel's eyes widened. "You _do_ remember! That old fuddy-duddy who was always going on about 'Earning your diploma is your mission,' and-"

"-and 'Never take your eyes off the prize for _anything_.'"

Axel grinned. "Maybe my old friend is still somewhere in there after all."

"Since when have we still been friends?" Saïx muttered.

"...Since you took care of Roxas the other day, at least," Axel said softly. "You didn't have to do that."

"I didn't have to leave him ill, either."

"Still. Not everyone in this miserable castle would've been willing to pull off a total Florence Nightingale act. In fact, I thought I was the only one."

Saïx looked down at his Christmas gift for a long time. Then he slowly took the studs out of his ears and put on the ice cream jewelry. "Don't get used to it. This is the _only _time you'll ever see me wearing these ridiculous things, I'm going to throw them away."

"Heh, they look good on you."

"You're lying."

"Of course I am," Axel said affectionately. "You look silly. Best present you could have given me. Merry Christmas, Isa."

"...Merry Christmas, Lea."

o.o.o

Author's Notes: This was the first story I wrote where Axel gives Saïx earrings as a gift, though there's at least one fic including that idea which I happened to publish earlier. _Christmas at the Castle_ was drafted back in late summer 2011.

With the exception of chapter 11, this fic was unbelievably fun to write. I'm happy with how Xion turned out, since I didn't get to do her justice in _The Thirteenth Changeling_. I loved writing the Roxas/Axel/Xion trio, though I think Axel's going to kill me for nannying him to death (and...for Axelbelle ^^;). Even though it was hard to do AkuSai bromance while keeping Saïx in character, and even though the "Zemyx" turned out pretty much the opposite of what I'd intended, those were fun, too.

I have both a platonic Lea/Isa multi-chapter prequel and a general multi-chapter sequel in the works, though it'll probably be a long time before I'm able to post them. I also have several much smaller stories set in this same universe, and many others which borrow elements from it. The main sequel will have a different tone - I'm not planning for it to be a humor fic like this one is, it's just that it takes place in the same universe. (For example, what happened to all the Org's pets when their owners died? I started writing one of the sequel's subplots solely to address that issue.)

Writing this fic _finally_ made me realize how much I enjoy ship-teasing, regardless of whether I actually like the pairing or not (which would explain a lot about some of my previous fics, even as far back as _The Same Shade of Yellow_ seven years ago o.O). It's far more fun than actual romance. I have NO idea why it took me so long to realize this about myself...


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